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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Two-Fer
Volume 7, Issue 11
Hello All,
W. P. Florence passed away this week. It’s tough to lose an ICON.
I first met Mr. Florence when I was around five years old. My cousin Ronnie took me to the Cameo. It was the first time I’d ever been there and I was talking non-stop. Ronnie tried to get me to be quiet but I wasn’t listening to him.
Then, a tall man with a funny flashlight “shushed” me. I was petrified.
Later, I became one of the “Cameo Kids”. Parents would drop their children off at the movies knowing that they would get them back safe and sound after the show.
As a pre-teen, I started working for Mr. Florence, delivering show calendars to neighboring towns. He’d round up a truckload of us and take us to Stephens or Emerson where we’d go house to house delivering the calendar. We were paid in free passes to the show.
I spent an awful lot of time with Mr. Florence. My mother used to send me to the show whenever I got in trouble at the Chatterbox. I spent most evenings at the Cameo. One particular week, I saw Elvis Presley in “Speedway” fourteen times.
Then, in high school, I started ushering and running projectors at the Cameo and the Rocket Drive In. Mr. Florence taught me a lot about quality of work and treating the customer right.
In recent times, I’ve enjoyed visiting with Mr. Florence on Tuesday mornings at Prayer Breakfast. He shared some great stories of his days at Harvard. Two of my favorites involved his hearing the great Theologian Reinhold Neibor (who once summed up our predicament. “Nothing worth doing is completed in one lifetime. Therefore, we must be saved by hope. ...”) speak at Harvard and his sitting in front of Rogers and Hammerstein during a performance of “South Pacific” on Broadway.
I look forward to seeing Mr. Florence again.
His funeral will be @ 2:00 p.m. Saturday, at Central Baptist Church
~~~~~
We got our fire truck loaded and in service this week. Thanks to all the Albemarle Firefighters and “Bud” who worked late to help us get things ready.
~~~~~
Boys and Girls Club Fish Fundraiser - March 21, 2005 - 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m
Drive Through and Pick Up At The Club
Fish, Cole Slaw, French Fries, Hush Puppies, Tomato Relish
$10.00 Per Plate - Please Contact Tena Simpson For Tickets - 235-6510
~~~~~
The Last Living Supper - Central Baptist Church
March 25 @ 7:00 p.m., March 26 @ 2:00 p.m., March 27 @ 6:00 p.m.
~~~~~
Today's Youth Tomorrow's Leaders - Fish Dinner, April 4
Fish, French Fries, Hushpuppies, Cole Slaw, Tartar Sauce/Ketchup
$7.00 4 pieces $10.00 6 pieces
Monday - April 4 - 5:00 - 7:00 - BancorpSouth Parking Lot
Tickets available from TYTL Class Members & Committee Members
and BancorpSouth, Farmers Bank & Trust, Peoples Bank and Summit Bank
Catered by Ole Feed House - For More Information 901-2521
For tickets, contact Celia McQuiston at 235-6371
~~~~~
MVVFD will be having a crawfish boil on Saturday, April 9, 2005 from 10:30AM till we run out on the East Courthouse Square. The proceeds will go to the development of our new fire station. The station will be
named in honor of Bob "Rocky" Roberson, one of the two founding members of MVVFD who succumbed to cancer earlier this year.
~~~~~
This week we share excerpts from “Da Bleat” of Friday, March 11, 2000.
~~~~~
We’re always looking for stories as well as jokes and other contributions. Don’t hesitate to share any offerings with us.
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $2.06 $2.18 $2.26 $2.24
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe of the week;
Classic Italian Lasagna Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis - Show: Everyday Italian
Episode: All About Lasagna
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Medium
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Yield: 6 servings
Bechamel Sauce:
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus 2 tablespoons for the lasagna
½ cup all-purpose flour
4 cups whole milk at room temperature
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
1 ½ cups tomato sauce, recipe follows
Salt and white pepper
1/4-cup extra-virgin olive oil
1-pound ground chuck beef
Salt and pepper
1 ½ pounds ricotta cheese
3 large eggs
1 pound lasagna sheets, cooked al dente
2 packages (10 ounces each) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
3 cups shredded mozzarella
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
In a 2-quart pot, melt 5 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. When butter has completely melted, add the flour and whisk until smooth, about 2 minutes. Gradually add the milk, whisking constantly to prevent any lumps from forming. Continue to simmer and whisk over medium heat until the sauce is thick, smooth and creamy, about 10 minutes. The sauce should be thick enough to coat the back of wooden spoon. Remove from heat and add the nutmeg and tomato sauce. Stir until well combined and check for seasoning. Set aside and allow to cool completely.
In a sauté pan, heat extra-virgin olive oil. When almost smoking, add the ground beef and season with salt and pepper. Brown meat, breaking any large lumps, until it is no longer pink. Remove from heat and drain any excess fat. Set aside and allow to cool completely.
In a medium sized bowl, thoroughly mix the ricotta and eggs. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside.
Into the bottom of a 13 by 9-inch baking dish, spread 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the pasta sheets side by side, covering the bottom of the baking dish. Evenly spread a layer of all the ricotta mixture and then a layer of all the spinach. Arrange another layer of pasta sheets and spread all the ground beef on top. Sprinkle ½ the mozzarella cheese on top of the beef. Spread another 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the final layer of pasta sheets and top with remaining béchamel, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Cut the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter into 1/4-inch cubes and top lasagna.
Line a large baking sheet with aluminum foil. Place lasagna dish on top, cover and put on the middle rack of the oven and bake until top is bubbling, about 30 minutes. Remove cover and continue to bake for about 15 minutes.
Simple Tomato Sauce:
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 (32-ounce) cans crushed tomatoes
2 dried bay leaves
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, optional
In a large casserole pot or Dutch over, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and garlic and sauté until soft and translucent, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add celery and carrots and season with salt and pepper. Sauté until all the vegetables are soft, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add tomatoes and bay leaves and simmer uncovered on low heat for 1 hour or until thick. Remove bay leaves and check for seasoning. If sauce still tastes acidic, add unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon at a time to round out the flavors.
Add ½ the tomato sauce into the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. Continue with remaining tomato sauce.
If not using all the sauce, allow it to cool completely and pour 1 to 2 cup portions into freezer plastic bags. This will freeze up to 6 months.
Yield: 6 cups
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes
Ease of Preparation: Easy
http://www.foodtv.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD-9936-22896,00.html
~~~~~
BREAKPOINT Commentaries by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship
A Victory for Life and Dignity - The UN Gets It Right
March 21, 2005
It’s not every day that you hear me praise the United Nations (UN). In my opinion, the organization has an unfortunate tendency to get it wrong on a lot of issues. But with a recent resolution, it has finally gotten something right—and on one of the most important issues of our time.
On March 8, the UN approved a resolution that calls for an international ban on human cloning. The resolution seeks to “prohibit all forms of human cloning inasmuch as they are incompatible with human dignity and the protection of human life.”
The resolution passed only after a long, hard fight—so long and hard that the final version was not quite as strong as we had hoped. Although many countries were determined to ban all human cloning, a significant number wanted to ban only “reproductive cloning.” Those countries wanted so-called “therapeutic cloning,” or cloning human embryos for research, to remain legal.
So cloning opponents, without enough votes for an outright ban, had to make the resolution non-binding. While the resolution urges all UN member nations to ban all forms of cloning, it can’t force them to do so.
Still, I believe it is a major step forward. UN declarations, even nonbinding ones, have some moral force; the UN’s Universal Declaration on Human Rights was arguably one of the more influential documents of the twentieth century. And like that declaration, the cloning resolution can be used to put pressure on UN member countries—like Britain and France, which at this point still want to keep therapeutic cloning. Our own government, which stood firm in support of the cloning resolution, is in a very good position to exert such pressure. And maybe it’s going to help exert pressure on some foot-dragging senators here at home.
Another benefit of this resolution is that we have now got a good sense of who our allies are in this fight—and there are more than you might expect. Even Germany, which originally joined with France to lead the effort to ban only reproductive cloning, ended up backing the final anti-cloning resolution. The reason may be that the German people can still remember the horrors of Nazi medical experiments on humans a generation or two ago.
That’s a development to be welcomed and encouraged. And so is the support of more than eighty other countries, from Poland to Italy to Costa Rica and Honduras. They all voted for the ban. We need to strengthen those alliances and develop policies that span the traditional divides between First-World and Third-World countries, between pro-life and pro-choice, between conservatives and progressives.
As Wesley Smith points out in the Weekly Standard, “Pro-cloners frequently claim that their adversaries are merely a collection of Taliban-like religious fanatics seeking to impose their religious views on science. But the diverse and multicultural coalition which came together in the UN vote proves that assertion isn’t true.”
Just over eight years after the “biotech century” began with the cloning of Dolly the sheep, we’ve taken a first big step toward containing this technology and establishing the principle that human dignity must be respected first. Coming from the UN, an organization that is not generally known for its respect for human dignity, that’s a victory worth celebrating.
For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: The BreakPoint Christian Response to Cloning Kit will help you understand the ethical issues about cloning and give you material for writing letters-to-the-editor and discussing the issue with others.
Wesley J. Smith, “The UN on Cloning: Ban It,” Daily Standard, 15 March 2005.
“General Assembly Adopts United Nations Declaration on Human Cloning by Vote of 84-34-37,” press release, United Nations website, 8 March 2005.
Nick Wadhams, “UN Resolution Seeks Ban on Cloning,” ABC News, 8 March 2005.
“US Senators Hopeful UN Declaration on Cloning Will Help with US Ban,” MichNews.com, 23 February 2005.
On March 17, 2005, Senators Sam Brownback (R-Kans.) and Mary Landrieu (D-La.) and Representatives Dave Weldon (R-Fla.) and Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) introduced the Human Cloning Prohibition Act.
Colum Lynch, “UN Split on Cloning Ban,” WashingtonPost, 22 October 2004, A22.
William Saletan, “Oy Vitae: Jews vs. Catholics in the stem cell debate,” Slate, 11 March 2005.
Charles Colson and Nigel Cameron, eds., Human Dignity in the Biotech Century (InterVarsity, 2004).
Learn more about biotech issues at the Council for Biotechnology Policy website.
Copyright 2005 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BREAKPOINT with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries. Prison Fellowship Ministries may withdraw or modify this grant of permission at any time. To receive "BREAKPOINT" commentaries daily, you can subscribe for free at http://www. breakpoint. org/.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
parse: to analyze.
nimiety: excess.
quotidian: occurring daily; also, ordinary.
fugacious: lasting but a short time.
cabal: a group that seeks power usually through intrigue.
arriviste: an upstart.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - - Thomas Alva Edison
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein
"The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination of each citizen to defend it. Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to do his share in this defense are the constitutional rights secure." - Albert Einstein
"To achieve, you need thought... You have to know what you are doing and that's real power." - Ayn Rand
"It's just as possible to live to the full in a narrow corner as it is in bigness." - Sylvia Ashton-Warner
"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool." - Theodore Rubin
"Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Don't wait for the last judgment - it takes place every day." - Albert Camus
~~~~~
Remember our discussion concerning vitamin E? Annette’s Dr. told her to quit taking supplemental Vitamin E. This week, the rest of the world caught up with us;
Large Doses of Vitamin E Could Be Risky
Mar 15, 8:35 PM (ET)
By LINDSEY TANNER
CHICAGO (AP) - Large doses of vitamin E - widely touted as an elixir of youth - do not protect against heart attacks and cancer and might actually raise the risk of heart failure in people with diabetes or clogged arteries, a study found.
The study, published in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association, is just the latest to cast doubt on the safety and effectiveness of vitamin E supplements and other antioxidants.
The study was designed to examine whether vitamin E pills protect against heart attacks and cancer. Echoing other recent findings, it found no benefit against those conditions.
But the heart failure finding was unexpected and should prompt more research to confirm the results, said Dr. Eva Lonn, a McMaster University cardiology professor who led the study.
Lonn said it is unclear how vitamin E pills might be linked with heart failure, but she theorized that high doses might disturb the balance of beneficial, naturally occurring antioxidants.
Vitamin E has been touted in recent decades as a powerful weapon against aging, capable of protecting against everything from wrinkles to cancer and dementia. Preliminary research over the past 15 years has suggested that antioxidants fight the harmful effects of oxygen, warding off blood-vessel damage and cell abnormalities that can lead to cancer.
About 12 percent of U.S. adults - more than 20 million people - take vitamin E pills containing the same dose used in the study, and about 40 percent - almost 80 million - use supplements containing some amount of vitamin E, according to the industry.
Research released last week on nearly 40,000 healthy women showed no heart benefits from vitamin E pills. And a study reported at an American Heart Association conference in November found that people taking high doses were 10 percent more likely to die of any cause than those taking smaller amounts.
The JAMA study involved 7,030 patients with diabetes or cardiovascular disease other than heart failure.
Patients 55 and older who took about 400 milligrams of vitamin E every day for about seven years on average were 13 percent more likely to develop heart failure than those on dummy pills. Heart failure was diagnosed in 641 vitamin E patients, compared with 578 patients in the placebo group.
The dosage was typical of vitamin E pills widely available at health food stores and pharmacies but well above the recommended 15 milligrams daily for adults, which can be obtained from food.
Lonn said the findings pertain only to vitamin pills, not a diet containing vitamin E-rich foods, including nuts and leafy green vegetables.
"I don't think our study rules out in any way that a balanced diet rich in antioxidants would actually be beneficial," she said.
The study "effectively closes the door" on the theory that high doses have a major protective effect against cancer and narrowing of the arteries, University of Washington health specialists Dr. B. Greg Brown and John Crowley said in an editorial.
The study found no differences in the incidence of or deaths from breast, colon, prostate, oral and gastrointestinal cancer. The researchers said a slightly lower incidence of lung cancer in vitamin E users was probably only a chance finding.
Annette Dickinson, president of the Council for Responsible Nutrition, a trade group for vitamin supplement makers, said the study is "not the final word on vitamin E." She noted that a large National Cancer Institute study is examining whether vitamin E pills protect against prostate cancer.
---
On the Net:
JAMA: http://jama.ama-assn.org
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GCF: Two-Fer
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,100382,00.html
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
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The plant foreman comes to this technician with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.
"We threw around a few ideas and finally came up with a wall-mounted LED sign, similar to those you might find at airport baggage claims," the tech says. "I shopped around and found a high-bright, three-color, four-line model, 6 feet by 1 foot in size. Perfect for the application, but pricey: $6,000 each."
And because there are three groups of machines, there will have to be three signs, bringing the total price to $18,000. But to the tech's surprise, the signs are approved and installed.
But he is concerned about one thing: The plant's electric power isn't very clean. So he makes sure three battery-backed surge protectors are added to the budget -- cheap insurance for an $18,000 investment.
"Fast-forward a couple of months," says the tech. "The signs are operating fine. The operators use the data from the signs to compete with their fellow operators. Because of the competition, output and the quality of the output have both improved. Everyone's happy."
Then one day the power goes out. Inside this plant, it is dark. Really dark. Almost pitch black -- except for the operators of these machines. They're still happy. They can find their way to the nearest exit.
Why? Because the I.T. department has provided them with an $18,000, battery-backed-up operation stats display, which also happens to serve as an emergency lighting system!
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OK, I can't let St. Patrick's Day go by without an Irish joke, so here it is (it's one of my favorites!).
GCF: The Irish Pub
Emailed to me by a friend list (Thanks, Michael) -Tom
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Patrick went into his favorite pub in Dublin and ordered 3 pints of Guinness, to be served all at the same time. The bartender put the three pints in front of him, and he took a little sip out of one, put it down; then took a little sip out of the second, put it down; and then took a little sip out of the third. He put it down, went back to the first pint, and started the process all over again, until he had drunk all three pints.
Then he paid the bartender and left.
This went on for months, every night the same thing. Finally, the bartender cannot stand it any longer, and he approaches Pat.
"Patrick", he says.
"Aye", says Patrick.
"I've been watching you come in here for months. Every night you order the same thing. Three pints. All at once. Then, instead of drinking them one at a time, you take a little sip out of each one until you eventually finish all three. Then, you just leave. I have never seen anything like that. I don't want to be prying into your personal affairs but, if you wouldn't mind telling me, WHY?"
"Well, you know me brothers Michael and John moved to New York".
"Aye".
"Well, I promised me brothers that I would have a pint every night in our favorite pub, just like in the old days, in remembrance of the time when we were together. So, that's what I do each night. Me and my brothers are having a drink together. Do ya' understand now?"
"Aye".
This goes on for years. In fact, Patrick becomes rather famous in the pub for it. Finally, the time comes when Patrick orders only two pints. He drinks them the same way and leaves, but everybody knows something is terribly wrong. After a few weeks, nobody can stand it anymore, so they ask the bartender to approach Patrick about it.
So, the bartender approaches Pat and asks, "Patrick?"
"Aye", says Patrick.
"I understand there has been a tragedy in your family".
"WHAT? What tragedy??"
"Well, one of your brothers died recently, I understand".
"What!!!! Me brothers are fine, never healthier. Why would you think something happened to one of me brothers??"
"Well, you always used to drink three pints, every night; and all of a sudden you started drinking only two pints. We assumed that something happened to one of your brothers."
"Noooo... me brothers is fine. It's just that the doctor said I had to take better care of myself, so I decided to quit drinking."
- -------------------------- -
GCF: Good Old Dave
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
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Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."
"Who?"
"Dave Aronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave."
"There are always a few clouds over everybody," says Morris.
"Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."
"He was something, huh?"
"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and I black out the whole neighborhood."
"No wonder you remember him."
"Well, I never actually met Dave."
"Then how do you know so much about him?" asks Morris.
"Because I married his widow."
- -------------------------- -
GCF: Directory Assistance
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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"I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator.
"There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Bubba."
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/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ -( (- | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | -) )-
(((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Nothing is so smiple \ /
\ -/ that it can't be screwed up. \- /
/ / \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Okay, I pulled the pin. \ /
\ -/ Now what? Wait! \- /
/ / Where are you going? \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Throw out non-essential numbers.\ /
\ -/ This includes age, \- /
/ / weight and height. \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / \ /
\ -/ Little known facts ... \- /
/ / \ The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
(((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| *** Good Clean Fun ***
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] True Tales of InDUHviduals
True tales of InDUHviduals - From Scott Adams, creator of
Dilbert
I went to the registry of motor vehicles to renew my license. When I handed the clerk a check to pay for the license she asked for some identification. I pointed to the renewed picture license that she was holding in her hand.
While talking to a colleague IN PERSON I mentioned that I colored my hair. He asked me what color.
Last week my co-worker was traveling on business to a very small town. They found a restaurant in the phone book and asked the woman working at the hotel desk how to get there. The desk clerk told them all about it and gave them directions. After driving around for half an hour they could not find it. When they returned to the hotel, the woman at the hotel desk told them, "Oh, I forgot; they never did build that restaurant."
I went shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous button that said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy." I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I'm always talking on mine."
I went into a major retail establishment and asked an employee in the garden section whether they sold hyacinth vases. Seeing her blank look, I described a hyacinth vase, explaining that it has a narrow neck, with space for a flower bulb on top and water on the bottom. Said the employee, "Have you looked in Electronics?"
Received from Caprice.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Paddy Murphy
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
If you are interested in the facts behind St. Patrick's
day, check out any of these web pages:
http://people.howstuffworks.com/saint-patrick1.htm
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintp01.htm
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11554a.htm
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint-id=89
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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking as if he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little fella, O'Conner?" says Sean. "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner, and a thing of beauty she was, but useless in a fight."
Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.
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[GCFL.net] St. Patrick's Day Engagement
An Irishman by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass, on learning it wasn't real, returned to her future husband and protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock."
Received from Joke du Jour.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Writing Things Down
A couple in their nineties is having problems remembering things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that!"
She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down 'cause I know you'll forget it." He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down! I can remember that! Ice cream with strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"
Received from Case Bonebrake.
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[GCFL.net] New College Apartment
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock," the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch," the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF OVER THERE! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
Received from .
-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
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For all of us who are Irish today. - DR
Irish Jokes
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"
"Nothin'," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
*************
"I've Lost Me Luggage"
An Irishman arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
***********
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
***********"The Brothel"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.
***********
Irish Cemetery
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died!"
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
******************
Irish Predicament
Drunken Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
********************
Irish Last Request
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun!'
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too true! - DR
Twist of Fate
Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "But in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Charles, and in four days she became his stepmother.
Men will never learn.
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TWO MONKEYS
A blonde lady motorist on I-8 was two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back who have to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep the monkeys on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!!
There was the blonde, walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.
With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know, and I did take them to the zoo," said the blonde, "but we had money left over---so we went to the movies!!!"
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Red, White, and Blue
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"
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Three Irish laddies named Sean, Patrick, and Shamus were walking down the street toward their homes after a tough day at work.
They passed an old graveyard and decided to take a look.
Looking at a gravestone, Sean said," Look at this! This man died when he was 95!"
Looking at another, Patrick said, "This man died when he was 101!"
Looking at yet another stone marker, Shamus yelled, "Well, THIS man died when he was 145!"
Sean and Patrick said, "Wow! What was his name?"
Shamus replied, "Miles, from Dublin."
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Military Agriculture / by Colonel O'Corn
Exotic Irish Plants / by Phil O'Dendron
Irish Dentistry / by Perry O'Dontal
Green Lawn Chairs / by Patty O'Furniture
Irish First Aid / by R.U. O'Kaye
Irish Flooring / by Lynn O'Leum
The Irish Heart Surgeon / by Angie O'Plasty
Smoker's Cough / by Nick O'Teen
The LA Lakers' Breakfast / by Kareem O'Wheat
I Say So! / by Frank O. Pinion
Not Bogged Down In Reality / by Jason Rainbows
Wouldn't You Know It / by Murphy Slaw
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A SEA PUN
One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist. The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages.
"Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?"
"Swell," replied the Sea saltily.
"Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?"
"Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--"
"I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear there's nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you're just fit to be tide."
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WAYS TO SURVIVE EVEN THE DULLEST OF SERMONS
* Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
* See if a yawn really is contagious.
* Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
* Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
* Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet. You may get stuck on 'Q' and 'X' though...
* Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
* Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
* Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
* Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.
* Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favourite hymn.
* If the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.
* Pretend to be 4 years old.
* Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
* By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn you shirt inside out.
* Try to raise one eyebrow.
* Crack your knuckles.
* Think about your chin for an entire minute.
* Twiddle your thumbs.
* Twiddle your neighbors' thumbs.
* Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
* Practice smiling insincerely.
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DOORSTEP EVANGELISM
Two church members were witnessing door to door and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close -- in fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."
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This Week's theme: THE IRISH!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you were my friend!
"May you be in Heaven an hour before the
devil knows you're dead" - Irish Toast
~~~ Happy St. Patrick's Day! ~~~
There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?" and Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it, Pat. Have a good time in heaven." Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around. But on the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music.
Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates. He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' But, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!"
St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush! *He's* the Boss's Son!"
- As told by Owner-LaughALot@ListFarm.com
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Live Long!
This Week's theme: THE IRISH!
"May the roof above us never fall in
And the friends below never fall out.
- Old Irish Toast
Book recommendation: "The Irish Heart Surgeon" by Angie O'Plasty
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"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home." - David Frost
~~~ Modern Inconveniences ~~~
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.
"I send him to our room."
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh
Pot-bellied Stove
An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest.
No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin was unlocked and they entered. It was a simple place ... 2 rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment. Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove. It was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron. What was strange about it was its location ... it was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams.
"Fascinating," said the psychologist. "It is obvious that this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously experience a return to the womb."
"Nonsense!" replied the engineer. "The man is practicing the laws of thermodynamics. By elevating his stove, he has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly throughout the cabin."
"With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I'm sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious meaning. Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for centuries."
The three debated the point for several hours without resolving the issue. When the trapper finally returned, they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-bellied stove from the ceiling. His answer was succinct. "Had plenty of wire, not much stove pipe."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Divider Return
I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the check-out kid had scanned all of my items, he picked up the "Divider" looked it all over for the bar code so he could scan it. Not finding the bar code, he said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to him, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
He said "OK" and I paid him for the things and left.
He had no clue to what had just happened....
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Calf Birth
Uncle Jon was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old Great Nephew, James, standing at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event.
Uncle Jon thought to himself: "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees' to him. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just wait and see if he has any questions, and I'll just answer them as best I can."
After Uncle Jon finished helping the cow with her birthing, he walked over to James and asked him: "Do you have any questions about what you seen here tonight?"
"Just one," the little boy whispered, eyes still wide with wonder. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Sending It With Him
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with that man."
She replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with that man?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Drive Thru Prayer"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw274
"Avoiding Lifts"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw646
"One Last Picture"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw646
"Wider Streets"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw654
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/vacationcontract.html - - Taking A Vacation on the Contract Plan "Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what's a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Ellis Island Passenger Arrivals - - http://www.ellisisland.org/ - - More than 22 million passengers and members of ships' crews entered the United States through Ellis Island and the Port of New York between 1892 and 1924. Information about each person was written down in ships' passenger lists, known as "manifests." Manifests were used to examine immigrants upon arrival in the United States. Now you can search these millions of records for information on individual Ellis Island passengers.
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"The popularity of distance education has spread from colleges to earlier grades, as students in more than one-third of U.S. school districts take courses over the Internet or through video conferences, according to the first federal study of the issue. From social studies and math to English and computer science, thousands of basic courses are being taught in an unconventional way - with the teacher and student in different places. The main reason is that districts want to offer courses that students can't get at their own schools, according to the Education Department study released March 2, 2005. Most popular in rural areas and in the southeast and central sections of the country, the distance courses also allow schools to reduce schedule conflicts for students, such as children who take a math class online so they can fit in another band class at school. Overall, an estimated 36 percent of public school districts, or 5,500 out of more than 15,000 districts, had students enrolled in distance courses in the 2002-03 school year. Most of the students are in high school, but some are in middle school or even elementary school."
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AARP: FInding a Job - - http://www.aarp.org/money/careers/findingajob/featuredemployers/ - - This AARP Foundation program helps job seekers find jobs with companies that appreciate mature workers. Featured companies are looking for job applicants who are 50 and older.
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"The death rate for motorists on rural roads was more than 2 1/2 times the rate for driving on all other roads in 2003, a study to be released on March 3, 2005 shows. Safety improvements on rural, non-interstate routes have lagged, although driving on all U.S. roads and highways has become less dangerous since 1990, according to an analysis of federal highway data by The Road Information Program. 'The nation's rural roads ... are exposing rural residents and visitors to an unacceptable level of risk,' says William Wilkins, executive director of the highway information research organization in Washington. 'We know how to make rural roads safer. What is missing is adequate funding for road safety projects that will save numerous lives.' "
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Daily Fuel Gauge Report - - http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/ - - AAA's Daily Fuel Gauge Report is updated each business day and is the most comprehensive retail gasoline survey available. Everyday over 60,000 self-serve stations are surveyed. Related sites: GasBuddy - http://www.gasbuddy.com/ / GasPriceWatch - http://www.gaspricewatch.com/usgas-index.asp / State-by-state gas price averages - http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/sbsavg.asp / Gas price calculator - http://www.cars.com/carsapp/usatoday/?szc=22044&srv=parser&act=display&tf=/features/truthabout .
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"Most small cars, including some equipped with side airbags, fared poorly in the latest side impact crash tests conducted by a U.S. research group with links to the insurance industry. In a report issued late on March 6, 2005, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety said only Toyota Motor Corp.'s Corolla and the Chevrolet Cobalt from General Motors Corp. performed well enough to earn its second-highest rating of 'acceptable.' Both were equipped with optional side airbags in the tests after getting "poor' ratings in earlier side impact crash tests without them. Other small cars all earned 'poor" ratings in the latest tests, which simulate the force from the front end of a typical pickup truck or sport utility vehicle when it slams into the driver's side of a passenger vehicle at 31 miles per hour."
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The History of St. Patrick's Day - - http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/stpatricksday/ - - St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is one of Christianity's most widely known figures. But for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat of a mystery. Many of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick, including the famous account of his banishing all the snakes from Ireland, are false, the products of hundreds of years of exaggerated storytelling. Informative site by The History Channel.
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The Date of Easter - - http://aa.usno.navy.mil/faq/docs/easter.html - - The site presents the dates of Easter from 1980 to 2024. Easter is an annual festival observed throughout the Christian world. The date for Easter shifts every year within the Gregorian Calendar. The Gregorian Calendar is the standard international calendar for civil use. In addition, it regulates the ceremonial cycle of the Roman Catholic and Protestant churches. The current Gregorian ecclesiastical rules that determine the date of Easter trace back to 325 CE at the First Council of Nicaea convened by the Roman Emperor Constantine. At that time the Roman world used the Julian Calendar (put in place by Julius Caesar).
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"Middle-age women can cut their risk of strokes but not heart attacks by regularly taking low doses of aspirin, and the pills help prevent both problems in women 65 and older, a major study found. The results are opposite what is known about aspirin in men, where its benefit for stroke is limited and its ability to prevent heart problems is legendary. Since women proportionately suffer more strokes and men more heart attacks, this is generally good news, specialists said. Researchers also found that taking vitamin E did no good for women of any age, confirming a study last fall that concluded supplements of this nutrient could even be harmful. The new information comes from the Women's Health Study, the first rigorous, scientific test of whether long-term use of aspirin or vitamin E made a difference in cardiovascular risk in females. Previous research has been almost exclusively in males."
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The Water Cycle - - http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/watercycle.html - - Site by the United States Geological Survey. Earth's water is always in movement, and the water cycle, also known as the hydrologic cycle, describes the continuous movement of water on, above, and below the surface of the Earth. Since the water cycle is truly a "cycle," there is no beginning or end. Water can change states among liquid, vapor, and ice at various places in the water cycle, with these processes happening in the blink of an eye and over millions of years. Related site: U.S Geological Society Home Page. - - http://www.usgs.gov/
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"New research offers dramatic evidence of how psychiatric disorders are underdiagnosed in hospital emergency departments, affecting an increasing number of Americans who rely on such facilities for much of their primary health care needs. The research appears in this month's issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association. In their study involving more than 33,000 Caucasian and African American patients from three hospital emergency departments in the Midwest and South, psychologist Seth Kunen, Ph.D., Psy.D., from the Earl K. Long Medical Center and the Louisiana State University Emergency Medicine Residency Program and colleagues confirm earlier reports that a significant psychiatric underdiagnosis is taking place. The researchers observed a psychiatric rate of 5.27% among the emergency department patients, a rate far below the national prevalence rate of 20% to 28%."
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LifeWorks - - http://www.science.education.nih.gov/LifeWorks.nsf/feature/index.htm - - This site is an interactive career exploration web site for middle and high school students. Users can browse for information on more than 100 medical science and health careers by title, education required, interest area, or median salary. Alternatively, the 'Career Finder' can be used to generate a customized list of careers especially suited for users' skills and interests. LifeWorks promotes awareness of the wide variety of occupations in health and medical sciences and the range of opportunities at different education levels.
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"A team of U.S. and Ethiopian scientists has discovered the fossilized remains of what they believe is humankind's first walking ancestor, a hominid that lived in the wooded grasslands of the Horn of Africa nearly 4 million years ago. The bones were discovered in February at a new site called Mille, in the northeastern Afar region of Ethiopia, said Bruce Latimer, director of the Cleveland Museum of Natural History in Ohio. They are estimated to be 3.8-4 million years old. The fossils include a complete tibia from the lower part of the leg, parts of a thighbone, ribs, vertebrae, a collarbone, pelvis and a complete shoulder blade, or scapula. There also is an ankle bone which, with the tibia, proves the creature walked upright, said Latimer, co-leader of the team that discovered the fossils. The bones are the latest in a growing collection of early human fragments that help explain the evolutionary history of man. 'Right now we can say this is the world's oldest bipedal (an animal walking on two feet) and what makes this significant is because what makes us human is walking upright,' Latimer said. 'This new discovery will give us a picture of how walking upright occurred.' "
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Terrorism Knowledge Base - - http://www.tkb.org/Home.jsp - - This site is the one-stop resource for comprehensive research and analysis on global terrorist incidents, terrorism-related court cases, and terrorist groups and leaders. The Terrorism Knowledge Base illuminates the current status of terrorism today. It takes users through the history, affiliations, locations, and tactics of the terrorism entities operating across the world at this moment. The database features interactive maps, biographies on key terrorist personalities, dynamic graphs, and succinct summaries on who is who and what is what inside the shadowy world of terrorism today. Related site: External Links on Terrorism - - http://www.tkb.org/Links.jsp.
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"Scientists at an influential California agency have concluded that secondhand smoke causes breast cancer, a finding that could have broad impact on cancer research and lead to even tougher anti-smoking regulations. Although recent studies have linked smoking to breast cancer, no major public health group, including the American Cancer Society, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute, has declared it a cause of the disease that kills 40,000 women each year in the USA."
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| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
from Randy Antley.
PLANT TRAFFIC REGULATIONS
During a tailgate prior to a meeting, the subject of traveling the wrong direction on marked one-way streets was mentioned. There were several reports of vehicles (bicycles, scooters, trucks, fork-lifts, etc.) traveling in the wrong direction between the vehicle/weld shop and the small break room on the north end of the plant. This area is clearly marked as "ONE WAY, DO NOT ENTER" from the east end.
Remember that all traffic regulations must be followed. These include, but are not limited to, speed, stop signs, seat belts, off-limit areas, and having the proper license for specific equipment operation.
Drive Safe
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
Blow Dryers
Today's Message is from Karen Berner (a Houston Albemarle employee).
This next paragraph is a repeat from one of my previous Safety From The Heart messages and I thought it worthy of repeating.
"We all have been educated that safety is a learned behavior that can and should be applied equally at home and at work. At work, we are more aware of the environment surrounding us and we work more safely. When we are at home, we are in a non-threatening environment where we feel comfortable and relaxed. "
This near miss occurred at home one morning while I was drying my hair using a hand-held blow dryer. This is part of my morning routine (as is with most women) and being in a non-threatening environment, I had become complacent and had not inspected the blow dryer to ensure it to be in good working order. So as you can well imagine, that morning I got a genuine wake-up call. As I was moving the blow dryer over and around my hair, I noticed a big burst of sparks and a loud sizzling sound coming from the power cord. Panic-stricken, my first instinct was to toss the blow dryer (the power is still on and sparks are still flying) onto the floor just to get it away from me. Fortunately for me, I managed to turn off the power before setting it down on the counter. Smoke was coming from the power cord and the smell of burning plastic was in the air. I looked at my arm to see if I had received an electrical burn and noticed a black spot of what appeared to be soot from where the power cord touched my arm as it sparked. Fortunately for me, I was not injured and my hair was not damaged.
After inspecting the blow dryer, it was discovered that the power cord had developed a small crack just below where the cord emerges from the blow dryer. Over time, the power cord had become twisted and developed a small crack. The crack in the power cord continued to get progressively larger until it was large enough to create a spark when the cord was moved in a certain way.
The moral of this story is quite simple - perform preventive maintenance on any and all electrical device(s) that you may use in or around the house. Had I taken the time to closely inspect the twisted power cord, I might have discovered this before this near miss occurred.
Electrical Cord Safety Tips
- Tying power cords in knots can cause short circuits and shocks - loop the cords;
- Electrical devices should not be carried by the power cord;
- Inspect power cords and plugs daily;
* Remove any worn or damaged cords from service;
* A cord that feels more than comfortably warm should be removed from service;
* Pull the plug, not the cord - pulling the cord causes wear and may result in a shock.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 15, 2005
from Karen O'Connor (a Houston Albemarle employee).
Safety and health tips.
Installing an alarm system in your home may provide a greater feeling of security, but it is no substitute for strong locks, grilles and other security measures. Alarm systems are constantly being updated--take your time to choose one that meets your requirements. Most alarm systems are made up of the same elements, although the way in which these are linked varies considerably.
Home water filters don't all attack the same problems, therefore it's important to have your water tested before you choose a filter. Then do some research and find the filter which eliminates the excesses found in your water.
Many nail polish products are highly flammable. Don't smoke or leave products near the stove or any flame when giving yourself a manicure. Need a way to de-stress at the end of the day? Try writing out your thoughts. Keeping a journal is an excellent way to relax, and it may help you examine things that have been bothering you.
To get an idea of how well a piece of clothing shields you from the sun, hold it up to a lamp and see how much light it lets through. Also, though some T-shirts offer good sun protection, they lose up to 25 percent of their effectiveness when wet.
Include over-the-counter preparations as well as prescription drugs you need if you are traveling abroad. Some medications available without a prescription in the United States require one in other countries (and vice versa).
Thousands of people are injured skiing each year. About half of these result from skiing in off-posted areas, which can be extremely dangerous. Train adequately before you ski. If you have never been skiing before, take classes to strengthen your muscles-well in advance. ALWAYS ski with a companion, in case you sustain an injury. This is very important for beginners to remember.
Saunas make your skin feel tight, not because its texture is improved but because it's dried out. For your skin's sake, don't take saunas too often.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 14, 2005
Put Things Where they Belong
Safety and Saving Time
Time is money: Wasted Time = Wasted Money. So it goes without saying that the key to a profitable project is getting it done "on-time" or within budget. But getting the project done quicker does NOT mean getting it done in a manner which is not safe. To ensure that time is utilized to its best and that the job site remains safe, use the following, time-saving tips.
1. Keep an orderly work site. Assign one or two people the responsibility of keeping the job site clean so the workers don't have to climb or walk around construction materials and waste. Make it an ongoing process and don't leave the mess to clean up at the end of the day, because it won't get done! A clean site is a safe site.
2. Send any unused material back to the shop as soon as possible. This keeps the site clean and orderly and gives management the opportunity the ship the materials to another site where they can be used.
3. Don't overcrowd materials and workers. Give the crew room to work; they will be quicker and safer.
4. Although you have now assigned a person or team the responsibility for a clean and safe work site, make sure that the rest of the crew understands that it is EVERYONE'S responsibility to maintain good housekeeping standards.
5. Always keep an eye out for the little thing that may cause an accident; an accident is Lost Time, Big Time.
6. Keep the tool boxes and cabinets neat and orderly. It doesn't take much imagination to realize that digging around for a misplaced tool is lost time. And using the Wrong tool because you could not find the Right tool is, in most all cases, unsafe and a no-no.
7. Put the garbage in the garbage. This may seem simple but how many of you just walk away from that fast food bag after lunch? Now the wind comes up and the stuff is blowing all over the place. PUT IT IN THE TRASH before someone twists their back getting it out of a trench that is ready to backfill, or worse yet, falls into the trench head first.
All this boils down to one simple statement which we have all heard over and over again: "Put Things Where They Belong." By doing so, you will be using time to its best, and you will make the job easier, smoother, quicker.......and Safer.
http://www.webworldinc.com/wes-con/safetime.htm
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 11, 2005
Lack of Sleep
Presented by Niomi Krzystowczyk, Baton Rouge Tower Employee
Lack of sleep - can do more harm than you know
For some reason lately, I am not getting enough sleep. Okay, the reason is my new baby girl. I have found that I have a hard time concentrating on everyday things, much less complicated issues.
It has been well publicized that lack of sleep and fatigue is a major cause of traffic injuries and fatalities. From the Smart Motorist Website:
Driver Fatigue is an important cause of road crashes.
Fatigue is very difficult to identify in crashes only estimates can be made based on police statements or the circumstances of crashes.
Stats
In 1997 fatigue was involved in at least 18% of fatal accidents and accounts for about 7% of all accidents.
Facts
Research shows that 62% of fatigue crashes or near crashes occurred when drivers had driven for less than 2 hours, often on everyday trips near homes, where most driving is done.
Nevertheless, long periods of driving are fatiguing in themselves, placing drivers at risk even if they were not tired when they started the trip. Studies have shown that breaks from driving tend to delay the development of fatigue effects on driving. The benefits of breaks are more pronounced early in a journey.
Research shows that almost half of the drivers who had a fatigue crash or near crash said they had not had a full night's sleep the night before.
If that is not enough for you to get more sleep, I also found out that lack of sleep is associated with weight gain. Studies show that lack of sleep affects appetite regulating hormones. The less you sleep, the more you eat and consequently the higher your BMI (body mass index). In fact in one study they found that 20 more minutes of sleep had a significant reduction in the test women's group BMI. For people who sleep less than 8 hours per night, their BMI was inversely proportional to their sleep duration (http://www.eurekalert.org/pub-releases/2004-12/plos-sda120104.php).
So it is good for you to get the right amount of sleep. Your safety and the safety of those around you depend upon it.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 10, 2005
Hard Hats
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Slade Shealy.
While looking for a topic for a morning tailgate, I happened upon this story that could make a good SFTH.
Guy's Summer Vacation 2003
I just got back from two vacations. I took a few pictures so I thought I would share them with everybody.
The last vacation was 2 weeks of elk hunting in Colorado with my bow. Hiking around at 11,500 feet was fun but exhausting. I survived and so did all the elk.
The first vacation was a little different. I took two weeks of annual leave to go to Montana with the Forest Service to be a Safety Officer. I was assigned to the Ball Fire near Glacier National Park. Everything was going fine until I heard the "Rocky Boy #20" crew boss call "Medical Emergency- Clear the Tac Channel !!" Being the S.O. assigned to that division, I hustled over to find EMT's working on a fallen firefighter. I left the medical stuff to the EMT's and began my investigation of the incident. It didn't take long to find out that a tree had fallen on Carl. The Forest Service calls these trees "snags" and by western standards this was a small "snag." It had burned through at the base and fallen without warning or noise.
Carl the firefighter was hit on the back of the head and knocked down into the ashes.
Note the round hole above his left ear where a limb stub entered.
Carl was conscious but dazed. He was carried down the mountain on a stretcher and medivaced to a Kalispell, MT hospital. Carl was in good enough shape to be sent to his home hospital two days after the accident.
What I learned on my summer vacation: Keep that plastic hat on your head, it could save your life too!!
Slade Shealy
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 9, 2005
Bleed Valves
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.
We have all seen consequences of someone failing to use the proper block and bleed measures before disconnecting lines. Consequences can be minor or severe depending upon the chemical and amount of pressure on a line.
You who have dealt with quick fittings, how many times were you anxious to get a trailer loaded and really didn't take the time to think ahead and make sure you had the means for disconnecting safely? Say you blow the lines with 90# N2, then you want to disconnect the ears on quick connects and realize there is not a bleed valve? What then? Bleed back to the tank you were loading from? What if there is a one-way check in the line? Bleed into the trailer the best you can? Still going to be a small amount of pressure on the line which can make a mess all around and on you. What most do is use a PV stick 10-12' long and try to knock the ears off one at a time remotely--messy, and can still bite you.
I can recall several examples throughout the plant where proper bleeding of lines has not occurred. Steam, friendly old steam, couldn't hurt someone if it tried, right? Don't tell that to an operator in the plant who disconnected a steam line which had quick connect fittings. Steam line had full pressure and scalded his legs. Could have killed him with the heavy steam connections on the end if it had whipped the right way.
Or how about when we used to do red dye blends, and the fellow disconnected what he thought was a line that had been bled and ended up looking like a speckled trout.
Do it right all the time. Put yourself in control of the situation. You will be glad you did when time to disconnect.Doors
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
from Slade Shealy.
One day last week I was approaching the door to the reception area in the admin building on my way out to the parking lot. There is a small window on the door and I noticed someone about 10 feet from the door walking towards it. What I couldn't see was that there was someone else right next to the door swiping their badge. I went on through the door and almost collided with the person on the other side. Even worse than the near-collision between the two of us was the fact that the door (which is fairly thick and heavy) came very close to hitting the other person in the head. This could have been a first aid if not worse.
If you are about to enter a door that has a window, LOOK THROUGH IT.
If it does not have a window, OPEN IT SLOWLY.
Doors are easy to take for granted, but that's just the thing that can cause an injury.
Slade Shealy
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Been around before, but worth sending again, lest we forget! - DR
Once again Charlie Daniels speaks his feelings and once again he is right on the money. Charlie needs to be writing for a major news magazine.
The Straight Scoop from Charlie Daniels
I've just returned from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Naval Air Station base where we did three shows for the troops and toured several locations around the post visiting with some of the finest military personnel on planet earth. The kids seemed to really enjoy the shows and especially liked "This Ain't No Rag, It's A Flag" and "In America". We had a great time with them.
We saw Camp X-Ray, where the Taliban detainees are being held only from a distance, but I picked up a lot of what's going on there from talking with a lot of different people.
The truth of the matter is that this operation is under a microscope. The Red Cross has an on site presence there and watches everything that goes on very closely. The media is not telling you the whole truth about what's going on over there. The truth is that these scum bags are not only being treated humanely, but they are probably better off healthwise and medically than they've ever been in their lives. They are fed well, able to take showers and receive state of the art medical care. And have their own Moslem chaplain. I saw several of them in a field hospital ward where they were being treated in a state of the art medical facility.
Now let's talk about the way they treat our people. First of all, they have to be watched constantly. These people are committed and wanton murderers who are willing to die just to kill someone else. One of the doctors told me that when they had Taliban in the hospital the staff had to really be careful with needles, pens and anything else which could possibly be used as a weapon. They also throw their excrement and urine on the troops who are guarding them. And our guys and gals have shown great restraint in not retaliating. We are spending over a million dollars a day maintaining and guarding these nasty killers and anyone who wants to see them brought to the U.S.A. for trial is either out of their heads or a lawyer looking for money and notoriety. Or both.
I wish that the media and the Red Cross and all the rest of the people who are so worried about these criminals would realize that this is not a troop of errant Boy Scouts. These are killers of the worst kind. They don't need protection from us, we need protection from them. If you don't get anything else out of this soapbox, please try to realize that when you see news coverage much of the time you're not getting the whole story, but an account filtered through a liberal mindset with an agenda.
We have two fights on our hands, the war against terror and the one against the loudmouthed lawyers and left wing media who would sap the strength from the American public by making us believe that we're losing the war or doing something wrong in fighting it. Remember these are the same people who told us that Saddam Hussein's Republican guard was going to be an all but invincible enemy and that our smart bombs and other weapons were not really as good as the military said that they were.
They also took up for Bill Clinton while he was cavorting around the Oval office with Monica Lewinsky while the terrorists were gaining strength and bombing our Embassies and dragging the bodies of dead American heroes around the dusty streets of Somalia. It's a shame that we can't have an unbiased media who would just report the truth and let us make up our own minds.
Here I must commend Fox News for presenting both sides much better than the other networks. They are leaving the other cable networks in the dust.
People like being told the truth.
Our military not only needs but deserves our support. Let's give it to them.
The next time you read a media account about the bad treatment of the Taliban in Cuba, remember what I told you. Been there done that.
Footnote: I got an e-mail from a rather irate first cousin of mine the other day who has a daughter who's a lawyer and she seemed to think that I was painting all lawyers with the same brush. Please understand that I'm not doing that at all. That would be like saying that all musicians were drug addicts. There are a lot of good and honest attorneys out there. I happen to have one of them. But it seems that they never get any airtime. It's always the radicals who get their opinions heard, who fight the idea of the military tribunals and cite The Constitution and the integrity of America as their source of justifying their opinions. Well, first of all The Constitution says "We the people of the United States", it doesn't mention any other country.
And secondly as far as integrity is concerned, I don't think some of these folks would know integrity if it bit them in the posterior.
What do you think? God Bless America.
Charlie Daniels
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MOMS
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a . . .?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation 'Housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know? The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out) I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood . . .. What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child. Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."
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The Folden Napkin
This is a tear jerker - shows how compassionate people can be. Enjoy:-)
True Story - If this doesn't light your fire -- your wood is wet!!
I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy.
But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie. He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome.
I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade. The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ"; the pairs of white shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.
I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties.
Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background,shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto a cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.
Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.
He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often had heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.
A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, headwaitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of the 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table. Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.
He grinned. "OK, Frannie, what was that all about?" he asked. We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay." "I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?" Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK" she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is."
Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do.
After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.
"What's up?" I asked.
"I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup." She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie."
"Pony Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this." She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds.
Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "truckers."
That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called ten times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work, met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.
Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.
"Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate your coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!" I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins.
"First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside.
As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.
Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it.
I turned to his mother.
"There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. Happy Thanksgiving."
Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well. But you know what's funny?
While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table. Best worker I ever hired.
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GOD SENDS ANGELS
This was written by a Hospice of Metro Denver physician.
I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted to share it with my family and dearest friends.
I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel. At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now.
So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me". I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee.
She gave the food to the kids in the car who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little. She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet.
She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.
I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?" This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."
It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.
Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...
Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
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Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms. PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
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Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best ."
Real mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade.....It is marked by the progression of Mamma, to Mommy to Mom.....
The images of Mother
4 years of age----My Mommy can do anything !
8 years of age----My Mom knows a lot ! A whole lot !
12 years of age---My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age---Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age---Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age-- That old woman? She's way out of date !
25 years of age--Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age--Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years of age--Wonder what Mom would have thought about it ?
65 years of age--Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes.
Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows !
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PRAYERS
May those we love, love us.
If they cannot love us,
May God turn their hearts.
If God cannot turn their hearts,
May they turn their ankles,
So we may know them by their limping.
-- Irish Saying
May you have walls for the wind
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks bedside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire.
-- Irish Blessing
May there always be work for your hands to do,
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane,
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you,
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
-- Irish Blessing
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God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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TGIF-Today God Is First
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Discerning the Work of God
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Friday, March 18, 2005
by Os Hillman
Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, O my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophetess Noadiah and the rest of the prophets who have been trying to intimidate me. ~ Nehemiah 6:14
Nehemiah set out to rebuild the wall at Jerusalem that had been destroyed. Nehemiah held a position in the Persian Empire that would be comparable to Chief of Staff in our government. Nehemiah wept over the destruction of the city wall and repented for the sins of his generation and the generations before him that had led to the fall of Jerusalem. Nehemiah responded to the news by seeking approval from his superior to take time off to rebuild the wall. Tobiah and Sanballat met Nehemiah's action with resistance, as did Noadiah the prophetess and other prophets. These were the religious and political leaders of his day. They became distractions to his work and opposed him.
Whenever God does a new work, it is often met with resistance by those in the established religious community, and sometimes among those from whom we would expect support. Jesus met the same resistance when He began His public ministry. This same phenomenon happens today. When God begins a new work that cannot be easily explained based upon prior experiences, many make the mistake of assuming it not to be of God. The very people who should embrace and encourage the work become the source of skepticism and opposition. God tells us that His ways are not our ways. He does things in ways beyond our limited understanding.
Before you are tempted to criticize or oppose something that looks different from your past experience, ask God for wisdom and discernment. Examine why you might be tempted to oppose it. The Lord cannot be put in a box. He delights in doing things in ways that may not fit our former paradigms.
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2004
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Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com
Os Hillman Copyright 2004
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… and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. Eph 4:19 (NASB)
Years ago I saw a cartoon that has stuck with me for years. This particular copy had been copied and enlarged so many times that is was highly pixilated and flecked with random bits of nothingness, but the picture and words were still discernable. A line drawing of Ben Franklin’s vote for national bird was spread across the page. Below it in a bold font were these words: “It is hard to fly like an eagle when I am living with these turkeys.” This, of course is an obvious reference to Isaiah 40:31,
“Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Most of us recognize these powerful words. Daily, I wear and eagle necklace to remind me to do exactly that. Yet, Paul is giving us a warning about living with turkeys!
If we insist upon spending considerable time living with “gentiles” and seeking to fit into their world, we will have a difficult time indeed walking in the ways of God. I remember the first time I used the fabled “f” word. I had avoided using it for years, but I had returned to my home town to visit with friends. I found them in the bowling alley. We stood and talked for a few minutes, then sat at the counter to share while drinking Cokes. The conversation proceeded for a while, then something was said the irked me … and the word just “popped” out of my mouth. I was immediately embarrassed. My friends reveled in my slipup. My witness seemed damaged, and I soon left their company. In retrospect, I would never have used the word had it not been that I was trying to be a part of a world to which I did not belong.
We have already talked about some of their characteristics. Today we wrap up Paul’s list with a few more of the things we should NOT be sharing with them. “… and they, having become callous …” If you want to put that in “spiritual” terms, they have become hard hearted. The sinfulness of their ways no longer affects them. They no longer blush at foul language, the relish it. They no longer feel guilt at lusting after a person of the opposite sex; they feel joyous. I can’t help but think about the difference between TV shows of my youth and those of today. I grew up on Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best. The Andy Griffith Show was a weekly staple in our viewing habits. If husband and wife were shown in bed together, they were clothed in concealing pajamas and each had one foot on the floor. Compare that to today’s fare. Bedroom scenes from Everyone Loves Raymond are sexually charged, and that doesn’t even come close to Desperate Housewives! Still, I know “good Christians” who watch both shows and see nothing wrong … and some of those Christians have been believers much longer than I. Our hearts have been hardened. We have become calloused towards sexual perversion.
“… they … have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.” Recently, the CEO of The Boeing Company was fired for having an affair with a junior executive. Apparently he could not resist making a conquest … and she a shot at a higher position. Both traded sexual purity for personal gain. Is this not an adequate example of what Paul is telling us? Yet the divorce rate among Christians is equal to or slightly GREATER THAN that of non-believers! Tell me we are not spending too much time living with turkeys and not enough time flying with fellow eagles! My friends, it is time for us to look at our environment. Is it littered with white feathers and bird droppings? Or, do we look around us and find blue skies and white fluffy clouds? Are we seeking to be part of this world and separate from it at the same time? Is the life we exhibit on Sunday the same that our co-workers see on Monday? Hmmmmmmm.
Harley
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So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; Eph 4:17 - 18 (NASB)
“… walk no longer …” Have you ever received that command before? “… walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk …” How do Gentiles walk? Who are Gentiles? Hey, aren’t most of us Gentiles? What on earth is Paul trying to tell us? Oh, I get it. We are not to walk the way we used to walk. We are no longer Gentiles. We have been adopted into the family of God. We are Jews … not by physical circumcision of the flesh, but by spiritual circumcision of the heart. Sometimes it is easy for us to forget how we used to walk … or even how Gentiles walk. As a matter of fact, sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between the walk of a Gentile and the walk of a Christian. Paul is saying there should be.
“… walk no longer … in the futility of their (the Gentiles’) mind …” Do you remember what it feels like to walk in futility? Perhaps you might understand what I mean if I ask you this: Do you remember what it feels like to be always trying to do the right things … trying to be good enough … trying to be a “good little boy or girl”? I remember. It isn’t easy to be good enough to please God. It seems like His Ten Commandments soon grew into ten thousand. “Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Why did you do that? Don’t you know that good Christians don’t drink … smoke … swear … tell jokes with double innuendos … look at that kink of magazine … read that kind of book … watch that kind of movie … go to dances … think that way about a girl/guy? The list of “don’ts” is so great that it seems impossible to do anything right.
Just tonight we took our grandkids to the “First Ever Second Annual World’s Shortest Saint Patrick’s Day Parade” in Hot Springs. On the way back to the car, our granddaughter asked if she could walk on a strip of cement that held a guardrail. My immediate and unequivocal answer was “NO”. She complied unquestioningly. Then my mind railed against me. “What is wrong with walking there? What harm can it do? It is perfectly safe. There is absolutely no way she can get hurt.” My granddaughter did right. She obeyed. I did wrong. I laid a “law” on her that had no reason to exist. Before I walked another two steps, I turned to her and said, “Sure you can. Go ahead and walk there.” She did and was happy … and safe.
I am a legalist. I was raised by the Big Ten … Commandments. I had a lot of laws laid upon me, and I can really dish them out on anyone who enters my field of authority. I walked in the futility of my mind tonight … for just a moment. Fortunately, I repented in time to redeem the moment.
“… walk no longer … being darkened in their understanding …” That was me … tonight. And, I almost laid that darkness upon my granddaughter.
“… walk no longer … excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart …” We all know how it feels to be “excluded”. It hurts. It makes us feel miserable. It intensifies our feeling of inadequacy. And … most of the time … it is a self-imposed exclusion. I attend “seminary” classes in my church. These are not glorified Sunday School classes. These classes are deep discussions of valid and vitally important spiritual matters involving our church. The first time I attended a class, I felt excluded. I was “sitting on the outside looking in.” I was an outsider, but the door was open and I went through it. Now I am enjoying the camaraderie of fellow saints studying the Word of God helping set the course of our congregation for years to come.
Brothers and sisters don’t stand on the outside looking in. Step through the door of God’s salvation and enter the process that leads to maturity … maturity as an individual saint and maturity as a fellowship of believers.
Harley
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… from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. Eph 4:16 (NASB)
I’m a space nut. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to watch, on an old black and white TV with rabbit ears antenna, Neil Armstrong make that final step onto the lunar landscape. I have watched as many space shots as I possibly could … and those I could not watch, I absorbed on the first available news show. I was watching when Apollo 13 had its difficulties. I stuck to the TV and radio to see if we would loose our first astronauts in space. I watched in horror as Challenger veered off course and did indeed cost the lives of our first astronauts in space. I am something of a serious amateur when it comes to the space shuttles. I have a more than average understanding of those flying machines and what makes them work … or, in the case of Columbia, not work. They are amazing flying machines, far more complicated than anything most of us can possibly imagine. There are millions of parts that must work together for one of them to fly … and not all of those parts are even attached to the shuttle. However, it only takes the failure of one part to make a shuttle fail. On the Challenger flight, it was a simple “O” ring. On Columbia it was a small failure in the heat shield caused by a two-pound piece of foam. And so it is with the body of Christ.
In yesterday’s verse, we found that Jesus is the Head of the body – the Church. Today we see that from that Head causes the growth of the whole body. And, we find that the whole body is composed of many parts … all “being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies …” Just like the space shuttle is composed of many parts, all essential to a successful mission, the body of Christ is composed of many parts … you and me and millions like us … all essential to a successful mission. That is not to say that one part of the body can’t do the work of another. It is saying that each of us has a role to play and that role is vitally important to the perfect function of the body.
I often us the work picture of me with a broken right arm … yes, I’m right handed. Does that mean I cannot write a check or sign my name or take notes during a sermon until that arm is healed? Certainly not. I can learn to do all of those functions with my left hand. Oh, I will not be able to do it as well, as fast, or as neatly as I did with my right, but the job will get done.
The point is this: you are important to the effective functioning of your particular Church. What’s more, your local Church is important to the proper function of the church in your city, state, or nation. That is what Paul means by “what every joint supplies”. We all supply something to the brother or sister who is next to us. You know what? I like being important! Even with my small contribution to the body, I like knowing that I am having a small influence on your life in Oregon, Michigan, Arkansas, Illinois, Hawaii, Indonesia, South Africa, or where ever you are today. I also enjoy knowing that you are giving me strength as you send me words of encouragement. If I need prayer, I know I have but to ask and YOU will pray for me! I love the plan of God! I am essential to His operation. YOU are essential to His operation. We all, working in unity, make God’s plan work!
And there is even more in this verse. Paul tells us that we cause each other to grow and become strong (spell that “mature”) in love. We lovingly help each other, and we grow stronger in our love as we give our love away. Grow strong my brothers and sisters. Feed each other with what God has given you … and in doing so, we will accomplish ALL that God has planned for us to do.
Harley
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… but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ … Eph 4:15 (NASB)
Whoa! Hey, do you see that little preposition in the middle of this verse? There it is. See it? “… into Him …” That means that something is becoming “Him”. What is it? Let’s take a closer look.
“… but speaking the truth in love …” Ok. It is good to speak the truth, but the truth can become a bludgeoning club if it is improperly used. Have you ever been hit over the head with the truth? I have. There are those who use the truth like a baseball bat on a watermelon. It’s not a pretty sight to watch is it? It is even less pretty if you are the “watermelon” being bludgeoned. The modifying phrase here is “in love”. The truth wielded in love, though painful, is more like a surgeon’s scalpel. Sure, there is pain involved in surgery, but that pain is necessary in order to make the patient better. A tumor is excised and healing can take place when a scalpel is used in the hands of a skilled surgeon. Likewise, the truth spoken in love can be an instrument of healing. Sure, the truth hurts, but if healing is the intended and expected result, the pain is worth it. So maturity means speaking the truth in love. That’s good, but that is just part of the sentence. Let’s continue.
“… we are to grow up,” and here is our pivotal preposition, “in all aspects into Him …” (I put the italics on the word “into” for emphasis.) Growing up is a good thing; we cannot deny that. Remember Aunt Anna? Being taller than her was part of my growing up. But that is not all. We are to grow up in all aspects. Do you remember what Luke said about the child Jesus? “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” Luke 2:52 (KJV). It would be wise here to take a brief look at each of the four ways Jesus “increased”, that mean matured. “Wisdom”, that is the ability to take knowledge and put it to practical use. I had a roommate in college who was brilliant … but he didn’t have any common sense. In a way, we could call wisdom “common sense” because wisdom gives us the ability to take any bit of knowledge and apply it to daily living. “Stature”, He grew up physically. He became a mature physical man. “In favor with God”, God was pleased with Jesus’ growth. That is evidenced when Jesus was baptized and Father God said, “This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” “In favor with man”, Jesus was liked by everyone who know Him – at least before He began the second year of His public ministry. We might say he was popular in Nazareth. He was a good carpenter. He ran the family business in an upright and honest manner. If He said a job would be done on Tuesday, it was done on Tuesday. That is what Paul means by “all aspects”.
Now for our prepositional phrase: “… into Him …” It doesn’t say, “like Him”. It says “into Him”. I find this interesting. We are to grow up and be Jesus …at least the people around us should be able to see Jesus in us … when we are mature. That is a tough standard to achieve, and I am certain that I have not yet attained that high goal. So, I guess I still need the gifts God has given me through Jesus. I need to keep maturing so that some day I will be made “into Him who is the head, even Christ”. Fortunately, I don’t have to reach this goal by myself. My spiritual mentors: the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers, will help me along the way. And let’s not forget the Holy Spirit, who is the Seal of God on my life, who will use all the gifts of God to do a major share of the maturing in me.
Harley
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As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming … Eph 4:14 (NASB)
Captives, gifts, five-fold ministry, apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers … what do these have to do with our walk? I did promise to help you in your walk, didn’t I? And so I shall … in due season. But first we must finish a bit of the transition from who we are as individuals in Christ to our walk, both individually and collectively, in Christ. So the transition continues …
Maturity. We spent the last session talking about maturity, and we continue today. As a result of the input from the gifts given to us as captives of King Jesus, we can obtain the allusive maturity we all seek. Remember Aunt Anna? It was only after years of towering over her that I finally became a man … a mature individual with the ability to think for myself, decide for myself, and act on my own initiative. Even now I continue to mature spiritually and emotionally. I am not the man I used to be … thank God for major miracles! All of this has come about because of the influence of men and women of God in my life.
Paul tells us that when we mature, we will be “no longer children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine …” When I was a little kid, I would believe what any adult, or even an older child, would tell me. I had an uncle who was a perpetual joker. Uncle Paul was liable to say anything at any time. In my immature state, I could never understand that sometimes he said things just to “get my goat”. Over time, I learned that his joking could easily get me in trouble with my dad and eventually mastered the ability to know when Uncle Paul was joking and when he was serious. If we take this experience to the spiritual realms, a child will believe anything. He needs someone who will keep him in the right paths. As he grows older and wiser, that child will learn to think wisely for himself.
There is a trend in modern families to let a child think for himself far too early. A two year old is not capable of making decisions for himself. That is why God gave him parents. The parents should have the wisdom to lead the child in the right paths. This is especially true in spiritual matters. It frightens me when parents say, “I will not force my beliefs upon my child. I shall wait until he is old enough to make up his own mind.” I can assure you that child will make up his own mind alright; and that decision will most likely bring heartache to both the parents and himself. An undisciplined child will nearly always find ways to serve his own desires and appetites.
Quite to the contrary, God insists that the parents lead the child in the paths of righteousness. Listen to this: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Prov 22:6 (KJV) My friends, this is a COMMAND! There is no option here. Solomon did not say, “I suggest you train …” Nor did he say, “It might be a good idea if you train …” He specifically says, “Train …” Only when we train a child will he remain faithful. But I digress from what we began with.
Maturity. That is the goal of all the gifts, all the leadership, and all the effort put into training. Our maturity as individuals. Our maturity as a body of believers. To what end? So that we will remain true to God’s will for our lives. So that we will set a course to live godly lives and not depart from it. So that we will not be misled by false teachers whose gospel tickles the ears and kills the soul.
Harley
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c. 2005 Harley E. Hudson
If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@earthlink.net and request a free subscription.
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Boys and Girls Club Fish Fundraiser
March 21, 2005
5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m
Drive Through and Pick Up At The Club
Fish, Cole Slaw, French Fries, Hush Puppies, Tomato Relish
$10.00 Per Plate
Please Contact Tena Simpson For Tickets
Ext. 6510
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The Last Living Supper - Central Baptist Church
March 25 @ 7:00 p.m., March 26 @ 2:00 p.m., March 27 @ 6:00 p.m.
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April 3 El Dorado 3:00 p.m. Xiang Gao, Violin
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Today's Youth Tomorrow's Leaders Fish Dinner, April 4
Fish
French Fries
Hushpuppies
Cole Slaw
Tartar Sauce/Ketchup
$7.00 4 pieces $10.00 6 pieces
Monday - April 4 - 5:00 ? 7:00
BancorpSouth Parking Lot
Tickets available from TYTL Class Members & Committee Members
and BancorpSouth, Farmers Bank & Trust, Peoples Bank and Summit Bank
Catered by Ole Feed House
For More Information 901-2521
For tickets, contact Celia McQuiston at 235-6371
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What: Crawfish Boil
When: Sat April 9 1030 - ? (prob 2ish)
Where: Courthouse Square, East
Why: Rocky Roberson Fire Station
Mount Vernon Volunteer Fire Department will be having a crawfish boil on Saturday, April 9, 2005 from 10:30AM till we run out on the East Courthouse Square. The proceeds will go to the development of our new fire station. The station will be named in honor of Bob "Rocky" Roberson, one of the two founding members of MVVFD who succumbed to cancer earlier this year.
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NRA Personal Protection Course - April 22 & 23
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May 20 & 21 - Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off. Tickets and/or Information 800-482-3330. Www.magnoliachamber.com
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
01. Spc. Nicholas E. Wilson, 21, of Glendale, Ariz., died Mar. 11, in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, while conducting a roving patrol when his military vehicle rolled into a water-filled ditch after the shoulder of the road he was on collapsed. Wilson was assigned to 1st Battalion, 9th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Camp Casey, Korea.
02. Staff Sgt. Donald D. Griffith, Jr., 29, of Mechanicsville, Iowa, died Mar.11 as a result of hostile action in, Tal Afar, Iraq. Griffith was assigned to 2nd Squadron, 14th Cavalry Regiment, Fort Lewis, Wash.
03. Sgt. Seth K. Garceau, 22, of Oelwein, Iowa, died March 4 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, of injuries sustained in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on Feb. 27 when an improvised explosive device detonated near his military vehicle. Garceau was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 224th Engineer Battalion, Fairfield, Iowa.
04. Lance Cpl. Joshua L. Torrence, 20, of Lexington, S.C., died March 14 of wounds received as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
05. Staff Sgt. Shane M. Koele, 25, of Wayne, Neb., died Mar. 16 at Shindand Airfield, Afghanistan, from injuries sustained Mar. 15 in Shindand, Afghanistan, when a land mine exploded near his HMMWV. Koele was assigned to the 212th Military Police Company, Kitzingen, Germany.
06. Staff Sgt. Ricky A. Kieffer, 36, of Ovid, Mich., died Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, when enemy forces using small arms fire attacked his unit. Kieffer was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 182nd Field Artillery Regiment (Multiple Launch Rocket System), Detroit, Mich.
07. Spc. Paul M. Heltzel, 39, of Baton Rouge, La., died Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, while conducting a mounted patrol when a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated. Heltzel was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 2nd Battalion, 156th Infantry Regiment, 256th Brigade Combat Team, Eunice, La.
08. Spc. Rocky D. Payne, 26, of Howell, Utah, died March 16 in Iraq when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Payne was assigned to the Army's 497th Transportation Company, 44th Corps Support Battalion, 1st Corps Support Command, Fort Lewis, Wash.
The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. Navy pilot, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.
Navy Commander Thomas E. Dunlop of Neptune Beach, Fla., will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery on March 21.
On April 6, 1972, Dunlop took off in his A-7E Corsair II from the USS Coral Sea on a bombing mission of enemy targets in Quang Binh Province, North Vietnam. While over the target area, his aircraft was struck by an enemy surface-to-air missile and as his wingman watched, Dunlop’s aircraft exploded in a fireball and crashed. No emergency beeper signals were received from the area of his crash.
In April 1993, joint U.S. and Vietnamese teams interviewed five residents of Quang Binh Province about the crash, but the information did not further the investigation. In 1994, 1995, 1996 and 1998, U.S. and Vietnamese investigators interviewed at least 13 other people in the province without results. Meanwhile, U.S. survey teams visited potential crash sites in 1995, 1998 and twice in 2002. Again, no useful information was obtained. Then in 2003 and again in 2004, specialists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) excavated a crash site where they found aircraft debris, personal effects and human remains later identified by JPAC scientists as those of Dunlop.
Of the 88,000 Americans missing in action from all conflicts, 1,836 are from the Vietnam War with 1,399 of those within the country of Vietnam. Another 747 Americans have been accounted for since the end of the Vietnam War.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans from all conflicts, visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1169.
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Remember that for every soldier killed in modern war, 10 are wounded. Don't forget to pray for them and their families.
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Join the Delta Diamondbacks 24-hour prayer team sponsored by First Baptist Church of McNeill by calling Debi Scott at 695-3403.
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War Prayer list for those in harms way.(12/24)
Remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families. Our own Delta Diamond Backs, local national guard personnel are now patrolling Bagdad. They are part of the 1st Cavalry Division's, 39th Infantry Brigade.
Please update us when you know of someone who comes home (or is activated for service.)
Command Sergeant Major Tom Broom - U.S. Army - Kuwait
Kyle Burleston - U.S. Marines - Iraq
Jim Carrol - U.S. Navy Intelligence
Greg Davis - U.S. Army - Bagdad - Mark Davis's oldest son. Greg has two children; Jhett, 12 and Baily 3
Lang Doster - National Guard - Iraq - Angel Cranston's Brother
Sgt. Douglas E. Chappel - Kuwait
Alaina Downey - USAF - Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri - Steve Downey's daughter
Michael Drake - U.S. Navy - Persian Gulf
Lisa Dyson - U.S. Army Intelligence - Johnny Dyson's daughter
Jeremy Lee Eades U.S. Army - Roger and Jerri Eades son.
John Ford - U.S. Army Korea - Steve and Sharon Ford's son
Dickie Hartsfield's son - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Warren Haynie from Lewisville - Serving in Iraq
Matthew Johnson - Marines
Robby Johnson - USAF C-130 Crew Chief
Brennan Jones - U S Marines - Iraq
James A.Jones - US Navy
Pat Keister - USMC -
Terris Lyons - National Guard - Back home in Minden
Mick McDaniel - U.S. Air Force, unknown location - Richard Matherne's son-in-law
David Mitchell - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Opheline Moore - USArmy -
Brian Morgan - US Navy - in the Gulf somewhere
C.H. Osman - CAPT USN - Pentagon
Andrew Paladino - US Army SRA - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Nick Paladino - US Army Ssgt - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Bob Polk - Kuwait
Todd Raymond - USAF - Germany - Another MCC young man.
Bryan Ross - Wayne Specie Roy and Loretta Specie's
Jason Varner Deployed to an unknown Location Roy and Loretta Specie's
Lloyd Young - USMC - North Carolina - Cindy Martin's son
Please let us know of any updates to this list. James F.McClellan - KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com Also, at kvma.Com they have a list of people over seas.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Eccl 2:4-11 Job 14:1-3,5 2 Pet 2:7-9 Luke 4:5-8
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of the Columbia County LEPC reviewing the ElDorado Bomb Squad equipment, Pat Hammock and Joe Ward loading hose, HazWOpER trainees waiting to “suit up.”.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
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W. P. Florence passed away this week. It’s tough to lose an ICON.
I first met Mr. Florence when I was around five years old. My cousin Ronnie took me to the Cameo. It was the first time I’d ever been there and I was talking non-stop. Ronnie tried to get me to be quiet but I wasn’t listening to him.
Then, a tall man with a funny flashlight “shushed” me. I was petrified.
Later, I became one of the “Cameo Kids”. Parents would drop their children off at the movies knowing that they would get them back safe and sound after the show.
As a pre-teen, I started working for Mr. Florence, delivering show calendars to neighboring towns. He’d round up a truckload of us and take us to Stephens or Emerson where we’d go house to house delivering the calendar. We were paid in free passes to the show.
I spent an awful lot of time with Mr. Florence. My mother used to send me to the show whenever I got in trouble at the Chatterbox. I spent most evenings at the Cameo. One particular week, I saw Elvis Presley in “Speedway” fourteen times.
Then, in high school, I started ushering and running projectors at the Cameo and the Rocket Drive In. Mr. Florence taught me a lot about quality of work and treating the customer right.
In recent times, I’ve enjoyed visiting with Mr. Florence on Tuesday mornings at Prayer Breakfast. He shared some great stories of his days at Harvard. Two of my favorites involved his hearing the great Theologian Reinhold Neibor (who once summed up our predicament. “Nothing worth doing is completed in one lifetime. Therefore, we must be saved by hope. ...”) speak at Harvard and his sitting in front of Rogers and Hammerstein during a performance of “South Pacific” on Broadway.
I look forward to seeing Mr. Florence again.
His funeral will be @ 2:00 p.m. Saturday, at Central Baptist Church
~~~~~
We got our fire truck loaded and in service this week. Thanks to all the Albemarle Firefighters and “Bud” who worked late to help us get things ready.
~~~~~
Boys and Girls Club Fish Fundraiser - March 21, 2005 - 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m
Drive Through and Pick Up At The Club
Fish, Cole Slaw, French Fries, Hush Puppies, Tomato Relish
$10.00 Per Plate - Please Contact Tena Simpson For Tickets - 235-6510
~~~~~
The Last Living Supper - Central Baptist Church
March 25 @ 7:00 p.m., March 26 @ 2:00 p.m., March 27 @ 6:00 p.m.
~~~~~
Today's Youth Tomorrow's Leaders - Fish Dinner, April 4
Fish, French Fries, Hushpuppies, Cole Slaw, Tartar Sauce/Ketchup
$7.00 4 pieces $10.00 6 pieces
Monday - April 4 - 5:00 - 7:00 - BancorpSouth Parking Lot
Tickets available from TYTL Class Members & Committee Members
and BancorpSouth, Farmers Bank & Trust, Peoples Bank and Summit Bank
Catered by Ole Feed House - For More Information 901-2521
For tickets, contact Celia McQuiston at 235-6371
~~~~~
MVVFD will be having a crawfish boil on Saturday, April 9, 2005 from 10:30AM till we run out on the East Courthouse Square. The proceeds will go to the development of our new fire station. The station will be
named in honor of Bob "Rocky" Roberson, one of the two founding members of MVVFD who succumbed to cancer earlier this year.
~~~~~
This week we share excerpts from “Da Bleat” of Friday, March 11, 2000.
~~~~~
We’re always looking for stories as well as jokes and other contributions. Don’t hesitate to share any offerings with us.
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $2.06 $2.18 $2.26 $2.24
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe of the week;
Classic Italian Lasagna Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis - Show: Everyday Italian
Episode: All About Lasagna
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Medium
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Yield: 6 servings
Bechamel Sauce:
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus 2 tablespoons for the lasagna
½ cup all-purpose flour
4 cups whole milk at room temperature
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
1 ½ cups tomato sauce, recipe follows
Salt and white pepper
1/4-cup extra-virgin olive oil
1-pound ground chuck beef
Salt and pepper
1 ½ pounds ricotta cheese
3 large eggs
1 pound lasagna sheets, cooked al dente
2 packages (10 ounces each) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
3 cups shredded mozzarella
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
In a 2-quart pot, melt 5 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. When butter has completely melted, add the flour and whisk until smooth, about 2 minutes. Gradually add the milk, whisking constantly to prevent any lumps from forming. Continue to simmer and whisk over medium heat until the sauce is thick, smooth and creamy, about 10 minutes. The sauce should be thick enough to coat the back of wooden spoon. Remove from heat and add the nutmeg and tomato sauce. Stir until well combined and check for seasoning. Set aside and allow to cool completely.
In a sauté pan, heat extra-virgin olive oil. When almost smoking, add the ground beef and season with salt and pepper. Brown meat, breaking any large lumps, until it is no longer pink. Remove from heat and drain any excess fat. Set aside and allow to cool completely.
In a medium sized bowl, thoroughly mix the ricotta and eggs. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside.
Into the bottom of a 13 by 9-inch baking dish, spread 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the pasta sheets side by side, covering the bottom of the baking dish. Evenly spread a layer of all the ricotta mixture and then a layer of all the spinach. Arrange another layer of pasta sheets and spread all the ground beef on top. Sprinkle ½ the mozzarella cheese on top of the beef. Spread another 1/3 of the béchamel sauce. Arrange the final layer of pasta sheets and top with remaining béchamel, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. Cut the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter into 1/4-inch cubes and top lasagna.
Line a large baking sheet with aluminum foil. Place lasagna dish on top, cover and put on the middle rack of the oven and bake until top is bubbling, about 30 minutes. Remove cover and continue to bake for about 15 minutes.
Simple Tomato Sauce:
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 (32-ounce) cans crushed tomatoes
2 dried bay leaves
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, optional
In a large casserole pot or Dutch over, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and garlic and sauté until soft and translucent, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add celery and carrots and season with salt and pepper. Sauté until all the vegetables are soft, about 5 to 10 minutes. Add tomatoes and bay leaves and simmer uncovered on low heat for 1 hour or until thick. Remove bay leaves and check for seasoning. If sauce still tastes acidic, add unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon at a time to round out the flavors.
Add ½ the tomato sauce into the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. Continue with remaining tomato sauce.
If not using all the sauce, allow it to cool completely and pour 1 to 2 cup portions into freezer plastic bags. This will freeze up to 6 months.
Yield: 6 cups
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes
Ease of Preparation: Easy
http://www.foodtv.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD-9936-22896,00.html
~~~~~
BREAKPOINT Commentaries by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship
A Victory for Life and Dignity - The UN Gets It Right
March 21, 2005
It’s not every day that you hear me praise the United Nations (UN). In my opinion, the organization has an unfortunate tendency to get it wrong on a lot of issues. But with a recent resolution, it has finally gotten something right—and on one of the most important issues of our time.
On March 8, the UN approved a resolution that calls for an international ban on human cloning. The resolution seeks to “prohibit all forms of human cloning inasmuch as they are incompatible with human dignity and the protection of human life.”
The resolution passed only after a long, hard fight—so long and hard that the final version was not quite as strong as we had hoped. Although many countries were determined to ban all human cloning, a significant number wanted to ban only “reproductive cloning.” Those countries wanted so-called “therapeutic cloning,” or cloning human embryos for research, to remain legal.
So cloning opponents, without enough votes for an outright ban, had to make the resolution non-binding. While the resolution urges all UN member nations to ban all forms of cloning, it can’t force them to do so.
Still, I believe it is a major step forward. UN declarations, even nonbinding ones, have some moral force; the UN’s Universal Declaration on Human Rights was arguably one of the more influential documents of the twentieth century. And like that declaration, the cloning resolution can be used to put pressure on UN member countries—like Britain and France, which at this point still want to keep therapeutic cloning. Our own government, which stood firm in support of the cloning resolution, is in a very good position to exert such pressure. And maybe it’s going to help exert pressure on some foot-dragging senators here at home.
Another benefit of this resolution is that we have now got a good sense of who our allies are in this fight—and there are more than you might expect. Even Germany, which originally joined with France to lead the effort to ban only reproductive cloning, ended up backing the final anti-cloning resolution. The reason may be that the German people can still remember the horrors of Nazi medical experiments on humans a generation or two ago.
That’s a development to be welcomed and encouraged. And so is the support of more than eighty other countries, from Poland to Italy to Costa Rica and Honduras. They all voted for the ban. We need to strengthen those alliances and develop policies that span the traditional divides between First-World and Third-World countries, between pro-life and pro-choice, between conservatives and progressives.
As Wesley Smith points out in the Weekly Standard, “Pro-cloners frequently claim that their adversaries are merely a collection of Taliban-like religious fanatics seeking to impose their religious views on science. But the diverse and multicultural coalition which came together in the UN vote proves that assertion isn’t true.”
Just over eight years after the “biotech century” began with the cloning of Dolly the sheep, we’ve taken a first big step toward containing this technology and establishing the principle that human dignity must be respected first. Coming from the UN, an organization that is not generally known for its respect for human dignity, that’s a victory worth celebrating.
For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: The BreakPoint Christian Response to Cloning Kit will help you understand the ethical issues about cloning and give you material for writing letters-to-the-editor and discussing the issue with others.
Wesley J. Smith, “The UN on Cloning: Ban It,” Daily Standard, 15 March 2005.
“General Assembly Adopts United Nations Declaration on Human Cloning by Vote of 84-34-37,” press release, United Nations website, 8 March 2005.
Nick Wadhams, “UN Resolution Seeks Ban on Cloning,” ABC News, 8 March 2005.
“US Senators Hopeful UN Declaration on Cloning Will Help with US Ban,” MichNews.com, 23 February 2005.
On March 17, 2005, Senators Sam Brownback (R-Kans.) and Mary Landrieu (D-La.) and Representatives Dave Weldon (R-Fla.) and Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) introduced the Human Cloning Prohibition Act.
Colum Lynch, “UN Split on Cloning Ban,” WashingtonPost, 22 October 2004, A22.
William Saletan, “Oy Vitae: Jews vs. Catholics in the stem cell debate,” Slate, 11 March 2005.
Charles Colson and Nigel Cameron, eds., Human Dignity in the Biotech Century (InterVarsity, 2004).
Learn more about biotech issues at the Council for Biotechnology Policy website.
Copyright 2005 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BREAKPOINT with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries. Prison Fellowship Ministries may withdraw or modify this grant of permission at any time. To receive "BREAKPOINT" commentaries daily, you can subscribe for free at http://www. breakpoint. org/.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
parse: to analyze.
nimiety: excess.
quotidian: occurring daily; also, ordinary.
fugacious: lasting but a short time.
cabal: a group that seeks power usually through intrigue.
arriviste: an upstart.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - - Thomas Alva Edison
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein
"The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination of each citizen to defend it. Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to do his share in this defense are the constitutional rights secure." - Albert Einstein
"To achieve, you need thought... You have to know what you are doing and that's real power." - Ayn Rand
"It's just as possible to live to the full in a narrow corner as it is in bigness." - Sylvia Ashton-Warner
"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool." - Theodore Rubin
"Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Don't wait for the last judgment - it takes place every day." - Albert Camus
~~~~~
Remember our discussion concerning vitamin E? Annette’s Dr. told her to quit taking supplemental Vitamin E. This week, the rest of the world caught up with us;
Large Doses of Vitamin E Could Be Risky
Mar 15, 8:35 PM (ET)
By LINDSEY TANNER
CHICAGO (AP) - Large doses of vitamin E - widely touted as an elixir of youth - do not protect against heart attacks and cancer and might actually raise the risk of heart failure in people with diabetes or clogged arteries, a study found.
The study, published in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association, is just the latest to cast doubt on the safety and effectiveness of vitamin E supplements and other antioxidants.
The study was designed to examine whether vitamin E pills protect against heart attacks and cancer. Echoing other recent findings, it found no benefit against those conditions.
But the heart failure finding was unexpected and should prompt more research to confirm the results, said Dr. Eva Lonn, a McMaster University cardiology professor who led the study.
Lonn said it is unclear how vitamin E pills might be linked with heart failure, but she theorized that high doses might disturb the balance of beneficial, naturally occurring antioxidants.
Vitamin E has been touted in recent decades as a powerful weapon against aging, capable of protecting against everything from wrinkles to cancer and dementia. Preliminary research over the past 15 years has suggested that antioxidants fight the harmful effects of oxygen, warding off blood-vessel damage and cell abnormalities that can lead to cancer.
About 12 percent of U.S. adults - more than 20 million people - take vitamin E pills containing the same dose used in the study, and about 40 percent - almost 80 million - use supplements containing some amount of vitamin E, according to the industry.
Research released last week on nearly 40,000 healthy women showed no heart benefits from vitamin E pills. And a study reported at an American Heart Association conference in November found that people taking high doses were 10 percent more likely to die of any cause than those taking smaller amounts.
The JAMA study involved 7,030 patients with diabetes or cardiovascular disease other than heart failure.
Patients 55 and older who took about 400 milligrams of vitamin E every day for about seven years on average were 13 percent more likely to develop heart failure than those on dummy pills. Heart failure was diagnosed in 641 vitamin E patients, compared with 578 patients in the placebo group.
The dosage was typical of vitamin E pills widely available at health food stores and pharmacies but well above the recommended 15 milligrams daily for adults, which can be obtained from food.
Lonn said the findings pertain only to vitamin pills, not a diet containing vitamin E-rich foods, including nuts and leafy green vegetables.
"I don't think our study rules out in any way that a balanced diet rich in antioxidants would actually be beneficial," she said.
The study "effectively closes the door" on the theory that high doses have a major protective effect against cancer and narrowing of the arteries, University of Washington health specialists Dr. B. Greg Brown and John Crowley said in an editorial.
The study found no differences in the incidence of or deaths from breast, colon, prostate, oral and gastrointestinal cancer. The researchers said a slightly lower incidence of lung cancer in vitamin E users was probably only a chance finding.
Annette Dickinson, president of the Council for Responsible Nutrition, a trade group for vitamin supplement makers, said the study is "not the final word on vitamin E." She noted that a large National Cancer Institute study is examining whether vitamin E pills protect against prostate cancer.
---
On the Net:
JAMA: http://jama.ama-assn.org
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GCF: Two-Fer
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,100382,00.html
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
---------------------------------
The plant foreman comes to this technician with a challenge: He wants a way to display important operational statistics so machine operators can see them at a glance.
"We threw around a few ideas and finally came up with a wall-mounted LED sign, similar to those you might find at airport baggage claims," the tech says. "I shopped around and found a high-bright, three-color, four-line model, 6 feet by 1 foot in size. Perfect for the application, but pricey: $6,000 each."
And because there are three groups of machines, there will have to be three signs, bringing the total price to $18,000. But to the tech's surprise, the signs are approved and installed.
But he is concerned about one thing: The plant's electric power isn't very clean. So he makes sure three battery-backed surge protectors are added to the budget -- cheap insurance for an $18,000 investment.
"Fast-forward a couple of months," says the tech. "The signs are operating fine. The operators use the data from the signs to compete with their fellow operators. Because of the competition, output and the quality of the output have both improved. Everyone's happy."
Then one day the power goes out. Inside this plant, it is dark. Really dark. Almost pitch black -- except for the operators of these machines. They're still happy. They can find their way to the nearest exit.
Why? Because the I.T. department has provided them with an $18,000, battery-backed-up operation stats display, which also happens to serve as an emergency lighting system!
- -------------------------- -
OK, I can't let St. Patrick's Day go by without an Irish joke, so here it is (it's one of my favorites!).
GCF: The Irish Pub
Emailed to me by a friend list (Thanks, Michael) -Tom
---------------------------------
Patrick went into his favorite pub in Dublin and ordered 3 pints of Guinness, to be served all at the same time. The bartender put the three pints in front of him, and he took a little sip out of one, put it down; then took a little sip out of the second, put it down; and then took a little sip out of the third. He put it down, went back to the first pint, and started the process all over again, until he had drunk all three pints.
Then he paid the bartender and left.
This went on for months, every night the same thing. Finally, the bartender cannot stand it any longer, and he approaches Pat.
"Patrick", he says.
"Aye", says Patrick.
"I've been watching you come in here for months. Every night you order the same thing. Three pints. All at once. Then, instead of drinking them one at a time, you take a little sip out of each one until you eventually finish all three. Then, you just leave. I have never seen anything like that. I don't want to be prying into your personal affairs but, if you wouldn't mind telling me, WHY?"
"Well, you know me brothers Michael and John moved to New York".
"Aye".
"Well, I promised me brothers that I would have a pint every night in our favorite pub, just like in the old days, in remembrance of the time when we were together. So, that's what I do each night. Me and my brothers are having a drink together. Do ya' understand now?"
"Aye".
This goes on for years. In fact, Patrick becomes rather famous in the pub for it. Finally, the time comes when Patrick orders only two pints. He drinks them the same way and leaves, but everybody knows something is terribly wrong. After a few weeks, nobody can stand it anymore, so they ask the bartender to approach Patrick about it.
So, the bartender approaches Pat and asks, "Patrick?"
"Aye", says Patrick.
"I understand there has been a tragedy in your family".
"WHAT? What tragedy??"
"Well, one of your brothers died recently, I understand".
"What!!!! Me brothers are fine, never healthier. Why would you think something happened to one of me brothers??"
"Well, you always used to drink three pints, every night; and all of a sudden you started drinking only two pints. We assumed that something happened to one of your brothers."
"Noooo... me brothers is fine. It's just that the doctor said I had to take better care of myself, so I decided to quit drinking."
- -------------------------- -
GCF: Good Old Dave
Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
---------------------------------
Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."
"Who?"
"Dave Aronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave."
"There are always a few clouds over everybody," says Morris.
"Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."
"He was something, huh?"
"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and I black out the whole neighborhood."
"No wonder you remember him."
"Well, I never actually met Dave."
"Then how do you know so much about him?" asks Morris.
"Because I married his widow."
- -------------------------- -
GCF: Directory Assistance
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------
"I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator.
"There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Bubba."
- -------------------------- -
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ -( (- | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | -) )-
(((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Nothing is so smiple \ /
\ -/ that it can't be screwed up. \- /
/ / \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Okay, I pulled the pin. \ /
\ -/ Now what? Wait! \- /
/ / Where are you going? \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Throw out non-essential numbers.\ /
\ -/ This includes age, \- /
/ / weight and height. \ (((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| \\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / \ /
\ -/ Little known facts ... \- /
/ / \ The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
(((\ \>|-/ )-----------------------( \-| *** Good Clean Fun ***
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] True Tales of InDUHviduals
True tales of InDUHviduals - From Scott Adams, creator of
Dilbert
I went to the registry of motor vehicles to renew my license. When I handed the clerk a check to pay for the license she asked for some identification. I pointed to the renewed picture license that she was holding in her hand.
While talking to a colleague IN PERSON I mentioned that I colored my hair. He asked me what color.
Last week my co-worker was traveling on business to a very small town. They found a restaurant in the phone book and asked the woman working at the hotel desk how to get there. The desk clerk told them all about it and gave them directions. After driving around for half an hour they could not find it. When they returned to the hotel, the woman at the hotel desk told them, "Oh, I forgot; they never did build that restaurant."
I went shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous button that said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy." I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I'm always talking on mine."
I went into a major retail establishment and asked an employee in the garden section whether they sold hyacinth vases. Seeing her blank look, I described a hyacinth vase, explaining that it has a narrow neck, with space for a flower bulb on top and water on the bottom. Said the employee, "Have you looked in Electronics?"
Received from Caprice.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Paddy Murphy
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
If you are interested in the facts behind St. Patrick's
day, check out any of these web pages:
http://people.howstuffworks.com/saint-patrick1.htm
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintp01.htm
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11554a.htm
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint-id=89
-------
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking as if he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little fella, O'Conner?" says Sean. "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner, and a thing of beauty she was, but useless in a fight."
Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] St. Patrick's Day Engagement
An Irishman by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass, on learning it wasn't real, returned to her future husband and protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock."
Received from Joke du Jour.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Writing Things Down
A couple in their nineties is having problems remembering things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that!"
She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top. You'd better write it down 'cause I know you'll forget it." He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down." Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down! I can remember that! Ice cream with strawberries! And whipped cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"
Received from Case Bonebrake.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] New College Apartment
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock," the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch," the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF OVER THERE! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
Received from .
-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
-=+=-
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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For all of us who are Irish today. - DR
Irish Jokes
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"
"Nothin'," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
*************
"I've Lost Me Luggage"
An Irishman arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
***********
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
***********"The Brothel"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.
***********
Irish Cemetery
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died!"
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
******************
Irish Predicament
Drunken Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
********************
Irish Last Request
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun!'
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too true! - DR
Twist of Fate
Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "But in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Charles, and in four days she became his stepmother.
Men will never learn.
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TWO MONKEYS
A blonde lady motorist on I-8 was two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back who have to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep the monkeys on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!!
There was the blonde, walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.
With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know, and I did take them to the zoo," said the blonde, "but we had money left over---so we went to the movies!!!"
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Red, White, and Blue
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"
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Three Irish laddies named Sean, Patrick, and Shamus were walking down the street toward their homes after a tough day at work.
They passed an old graveyard and decided to take a look.
Looking at a gravestone, Sean said," Look at this! This man died when he was 95!"
Looking at another, Patrick said, "This man died when he was 101!"
Looking at yet another stone marker, Shamus yelled, "Well, THIS man died when he was 145!"
Sean and Patrick said, "Wow! What was his name?"
Shamus replied, "Miles, from Dublin."
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Military Agriculture / by Colonel O'Corn
Exotic Irish Plants / by Phil O'Dendron
Irish Dentistry / by Perry O'Dontal
Green Lawn Chairs / by Patty O'Furniture
Irish First Aid / by R.U. O'Kaye
Irish Flooring / by Lynn O'Leum
The Irish Heart Surgeon / by Angie O'Plasty
Smoker's Cough / by Nick O'Teen
The LA Lakers' Breakfast / by Kareem O'Wheat
I Say So! / by Frank O. Pinion
Not Bogged Down In Reality / by Jason Rainbows
Wouldn't You Know It / by Murphy Slaw
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A SEA PUN
One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist. The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages.
"Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?"
"Swell," replied the Sea saltily.
"Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?"
"Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--"
"I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear there's nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you're just fit to be tide."
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WAYS TO SURVIVE EVEN THE DULLEST OF SERMONS
* Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
* See if a yawn really is contagious.
* Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
* Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
* Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet. You may get stuck on 'Q' and 'X' though...
* Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
* Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
* Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
* Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.
* Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favourite hymn.
* If the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.
* Pretend to be 4 years old.
* Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
* By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn you shirt inside out.
* Try to raise one eyebrow.
* Crack your knuckles.
* Think about your chin for an entire minute.
* Twiddle your thumbs.
* Twiddle your neighbors' thumbs.
* Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
* Practice smiling insincerely.
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DOORSTEP EVANGELISM
Two church members were witnessing door to door and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close -- in fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."
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This Week's theme: THE IRISH!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you were my friend!
"May you be in Heaven an hour before the
devil knows you're dead" - Irish Toast
~~~ Happy St. Patrick's Day! ~~~
There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?" and Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it, Pat. Have a good time in heaven." Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around. But on the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music.
Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates. He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' But, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!"
St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says: "Pat, shush! *He's* the Boss's Son!"
- As told by Owner-LaughALot@ListFarm.com
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Live Long!
This Week's theme: THE IRISH!
"May the roof above us never fall in
And the friends below never fall out.
- Old Irish Toast
Book recommendation: "The Irish Heart Surgeon" by Angie O'Plasty
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"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home." - David Frost
~~~ Modern Inconveniences ~~~
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.
"I send him to our room."
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh
Pot-bellied Stove
An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest.
No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin was unlocked and they entered. It was a simple place ... 2 rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment. Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove. It was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron. What was strange about it was its location ... it was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams.
"Fascinating," said the psychologist. "It is obvious that this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously experience a return to the womb."
"Nonsense!" replied the engineer. "The man is practicing the laws of thermodynamics. By elevating his stove, he has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly throughout the cabin."
"With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I'm sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious meaning. Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for centuries."
The three debated the point for several hours without resolving the issue. When the trapper finally returned, they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-bellied stove from the ceiling. His answer was succinct. "Had plenty of wire, not much stove pipe."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Divider Return
I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the check-out kid had scanned all of my items, he picked up the "Divider" looked it all over for the bar code so he could scan it. Not finding the bar code, he said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to him, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
He said "OK" and I paid him for the things and left.
He had no clue to what had just happened....
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Calf Birth
Uncle Jon was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old Great Nephew, James, standing at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event.
Uncle Jon thought to himself: "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees' to him. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just wait and see if he has any questions, and I'll just answer them as best I can."
After Uncle Jon finished helping the cow with her birthing, he walked over to James and asked him: "Do you have any questions about what you seen here tonight?"
"Just one," the little boy whispered, eyes still wide with wonder. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Sending It With Him
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with that man."
She replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with that man?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Drive Thru Prayer"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw274
"Avoiding Lifts"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw646
"One Last Picture"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw646
"Wider Streets"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw654
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/vacationcontract.html - - Taking A Vacation on the Contract Plan "Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what's a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Ellis Island Passenger Arrivals - - http://www.ellisisland.org/ - - More than 22 million passengers and members of ships' crews entered the United States through Ellis Island and the Port of New York between 1892 and 1924. Information about each person was written down in ships' passenger lists, known as "manifests." Manifests were used to examine immigrants upon arrival in the United States. Now you can search these millions of records for information on individual Ellis Island passengers.
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"The popularity of distance education has spread from colleges to earlier grades, as students in more than one-third of U.S. school districts take courses over the Internet or through video conferences, according to the first federal study of the issue. From social studies and math to English and computer science, thousands of basic courses are being taught in an unconventional way - with the teacher and student in different places. The main reason is that districts want to offer courses that students can't get at their own schools, according to the Education Department study released March 2, 2005. Most popular in rural areas and in the southeast and central sections of the country, the distance courses also allow schools to reduce schedule conflicts for students, such as children who take a math class online so they can fit in another band class at school. Overall, an estimated 36 percent of public school districts, or 5,500 out of more than 15,000 districts, had students enrolled in distance courses in the 2002-03 school year. Most of the students are in high school, but some are in middle school or even elementary school."
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AARP: FInding a Job - - http://www.aarp.org/money/careers/findingajob/featuredemployers/ - - This AARP Foundation program helps job seekers find jobs with companies that appreciate mature workers. Featured companies are looking for job applicants who are 50 and older.
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"The death rate for motorists on rural roads was more than 2 1/2 times the rate for driving on all other roads in 2003, a study to be released on March 3, 2005 shows. Safety improvements on rural, non-interstate routes have lagged, although driving on all U.S. roads and highways has become less dangerous since 1990, according to an analysis of federal highway data by The Road Information Program. 'The nation's rural roads ... are exposing rural residents and visitors to an unacceptable level of risk,' says William Wilkins, executive director of the highway information research organization in Washington. 'We know how to make rural roads safer. What is missing is adequate funding for road safety projects that will save numerous lives.' "
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Daily Fuel Gauge Report - - http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/ - - AAA's Daily Fuel Gauge Report is updated each business day and is the most comprehensive retail gasoline survey available. Everyday over 60,000 self-serve stations are surveyed. Related sites: GasBuddy - http://www.gasbuddy.com/ / GasPriceWatch - http://www.gaspricewatch.com/usgas-index.asp / State-by-state gas price averages - http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/sbsavg.asp / Gas price calculator - http://www.cars.com/carsapp/usatoday/?szc=22044&srv=parser&act=display&tf=/features/truthabout .
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"Most small cars, including some equipped with side airbags, fared poorly in the latest side impact crash tests conducted by a U.S. research group with links to the insurance industry. In a report issued late on March 6, 2005, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety said only Toyota Motor Corp.'s Corolla and the Chevrolet Cobalt from General Motors Corp. performed well enough to earn its second-highest rating of 'acceptable.' Both were equipped with optional side airbags in the tests after getting "poor' ratings in earlier side impact crash tests without them. Other small cars all earned 'poor" ratings in the latest tests, which simulate the force from the front end of a typical pickup truck or sport utility vehicle when it slams into the driver's side of a passenger vehicle at 31 miles per hour."
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The History of St. Patrick's Day - - http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/stpatricksday/ - - St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is one of Christianity's most widely known figures. But for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat of a mystery. Many of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick, including the famous account of his banishing all the snakes from Ireland, are false, the products of hundreds of years of exaggerated storytelling. Informative site by The History Channel.
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The Date of Easter - - http://aa.usno.navy.mil/faq/docs/easter.html - - The site presents the dates of Easter from 1980 to 2024. Easter is an annual festival observed throughout the Christian world. The date for Easter shifts every year within the Gregorian Calendar. The Gregorian Calendar is the standard international calendar for civil use. In addition, it regulates the ceremonial cycle of the Roman Catholic and Protestant churches. The current Gregorian ecclesiastical rules that determine the date of Easter trace back to 325 CE at the First Council of Nicaea convened by the Roman Emperor Constantine. At that time the Roman world used the Julian Calendar (put in place by Julius Caesar).
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"Middle-age women can cut their risk of strokes but not heart attacks by regularly taking low doses of aspirin, and the pills help prevent both problems in women 65 and older, a major study found. The results are opposite what is known about aspirin in men, where its benefit for stroke is limited and its ability to prevent heart problems is legendary. Since women proportionately suffer more strokes and men more heart attacks, this is generally good news, specialists said. Researchers also found that taking vitamin E did no good for women of any age, confirming a study last fall that concluded supplements of this nutrient could even be harmful. The new information comes from the Women's Health Study, the first rigorous, scientific test of whether long-term use of aspirin or vitamin E made a difference in cardiovascular risk in females. Previous research has been almost exclusively in males."
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The Water Cycle - - http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/watercycle.html - - Site by the United States Geological Survey. Earth's water is always in movement, and the water cycle, also known as the hydrologic cycle, describes the continuous movement of water on, above, and below the surface of the Earth. Since the water cycle is truly a "cycle," there is no beginning or end. Water can change states among liquid, vapor, and ice at various places in the water cycle, with these processes happening in the blink of an eye and over millions of years. Related site: U.S Geological Society Home Page. - - http://www.usgs.gov/
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"New research offers dramatic evidence of how psychiatric disorders are underdiagnosed in hospital emergency departments, affecting an increasing number of Americans who rely on such facilities for much of their primary health care needs. The research appears in this month's issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association. In their study involving more than 33,000 Caucasian and African American patients from three hospital emergency departments in the Midwest and South, psychologist Seth Kunen, Ph.D., Psy.D., from the Earl K. Long Medical Center and the Louisiana State University Emergency Medicine Residency Program and colleagues confirm earlier reports that a significant psychiatric underdiagnosis is taking place. The researchers observed a psychiatric rate of 5.27% among the emergency department patients, a rate far below the national prevalence rate of 20% to 28%."
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LifeWorks - - http://www.science.education.nih.gov/LifeWorks.nsf/feature/index.htm - - This site is an interactive career exploration web site for middle and high school students. Users can browse for information on more than 100 medical science and health careers by title, education required, interest area, or median salary. Alternatively, the 'Career Finder' can be used to generate a customized list of careers especially suited for users' skills and interests. LifeWorks promotes awareness of the wide variety of occupations in health and medical sciences and the range of opportunities at different education levels.
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"A team of U.S. and Ethiopian scientists has discovered the fossilized remains of what they believe is humankind's first walking ancestor, a hominid that lived in the wooded grasslands of the Horn of Africa nearly 4 million years ago. The bones were discovered in February at a new site called Mille, in the northeastern Afar region of Ethiopia, said Bruce Latimer, director of the Cleveland Museum of Natural History in Ohio. They are estimated to be 3.8-4 million years old. The fossils include a complete tibia from the lower part of the leg, parts of a thighbone, ribs, vertebrae, a collarbone, pelvis and a complete shoulder blade, or scapula. There also is an ankle bone which, with the tibia, proves the creature walked upright, said Latimer, co-leader of the team that discovered the fossils. The bones are the latest in a growing collection of early human fragments that help explain the evolutionary history of man. 'Right now we can say this is the world's oldest bipedal (an animal walking on two feet) and what makes this significant is because what makes us human is walking upright,' Latimer said. 'This new discovery will give us a picture of how walking upright occurred.' "
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Terrorism Knowledge Base - - http://www.tkb.org/Home.jsp - - This site is the one-stop resource for comprehensive research and analysis on global terrorist incidents, terrorism-related court cases, and terrorist groups and leaders. The Terrorism Knowledge Base illuminates the current status of terrorism today. It takes users through the history, affiliations, locations, and tactics of the terrorism entities operating across the world at this moment. The database features interactive maps, biographies on key terrorist personalities, dynamic graphs, and succinct summaries on who is who and what is what inside the shadowy world of terrorism today. Related site: External Links on Terrorism - - http://www.tkb.org/Links.jsp.
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"Scientists at an influential California agency have concluded that secondhand smoke causes breast cancer, a finding that could have broad impact on cancer research and lead to even tougher anti-smoking regulations. Although recent studies have linked smoking to breast cancer, no major public health group, including the American Cancer Society, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute, has declared it a cause of the disease that kills 40,000 women each year in the USA."
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| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
from Randy Antley.
PLANT TRAFFIC REGULATIONS
During a tailgate prior to a meeting, the subject of traveling the wrong direction on marked one-way streets was mentioned. There were several reports of vehicles (bicycles, scooters, trucks, fork-lifts, etc.) traveling in the wrong direction between the vehicle/weld shop and the small break room on the north end of the plant. This area is clearly marked as "ONE WAY, DO NOT ENTER" from the east end.
Remember that all traffic regulations must be followed. These include, but are not limited to, speed, stop signs, seat belts, off-limit areas, and having the proper license for specific equipment operation.
Drive Safe
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
Blow Dryers
Today's Message is from Karen Berner (a Houston Albemarle employee).
This next paragraph is a repeat from one of my previous Safety From The Heart messages and I thought it worthy of repeating.
"We all have been educated that safety is a learned behavior that can and should be applied equally at home and at work. At work, we are more aware of the environment surrounding us and we work more safely. When we are at home, we are in a non-threatening environment where we feel comfortable and relaxed. "
This near miss occurred at home one morning while I was drying my hair using a hand-held blow dryer. This is part of my morning routine (as is with most women) and being in a non-threatening environment, I had become complacent and had not inspected the blow dryer to ensure it to be in good working order. So as you can well imagine, that morning I got a genuine wake-up call. As I was moving the blow dryer over and around my hair, I noticed a big burst of sparks and a loud sizzling sound coming from the power cord. Panic-stricken, my first instinct was to toss the blow dryer (the power is still on and sparks are still flying) onto the floor just to get it away from me. Fortunately for me, I managed to turn off the power before setting it down on the counter. Smoke was coming from the power cord and the smell of burning plastic was in the air. I looked at my arm to see if I had received an electrical burn and noticed a black spot of what appeared to be soot from where the power cord touched my arm as it sparked. Fortunately for me, I was not injured and my hair was not damaged.
After inspecting the blow dryer, it was discovered that the power cord had developed a small crack just below where the cord emerges from the blow dryer. Over time, the power cord had become twisted and developed a small crack. The crack in the power cord continued to get progressively larger until it was large enough to create a spark when the cord was moved in a certain way.
The moral of this story is quite simple - perform preventive maintenance on any and all electrical device(s) that you may use in or around the house. Had I taken the time to closely inspect the twisted power cord, I might have discovered this before this near miss occurred.
Electrical Cord Safety Tips
- Tying power cords in knots can cause short circuits and shocks - loop the cords;
- Electrical devices should not be carried by the power cord;
- Inspect power cords and plugs daily;
* Remove any worn or damaged cords from service;
* A cord that feels more than comfortably warm should be removed from service;
* Pull the plug, not the cord - pulling the cord causes wear and may result in a shock.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 15, 2005
from Karen O'Connor (a Houston Albemarle employee).
Safety and health tips.
Installing an alarm system in your home may provide a greater feeling of security, but it is no substitute for strong locks, grilles and other security measures. Alarm systems are constantly being updated--take your time to choose one that meets your requirements. Most alarm systems are made up of the same elements, although the way in which these are linked varies considerably.
Home water filters don't all attack the same problems, therefore it's important to have your water tested before you choose a filter. Then do some research and find the filter which eliminates the excesses found in your water.
Many nail polish products are highly flammable. Don't smoke or leave products near the stove or any flame when giving yourself a manicure. Need a way to de-stress at the end of the day? Try writing out your thoughts. Keeping a journal is an excellent way to relax, and it may help you examine things that have been bothering you.
To get an idea of how well a piece of clothing shields you from the sun, hold it up to a lamp and see how much light it lets through. Also, though some T-shirts offer good sun protection, they lose up to 25 percent of their effectiveness when wet.
Include over-the-counter preparations as well as prescription drugs you need if you are traveling abroad. Some medications available without a prescription in the United States require one in other countries (and vice versa).
Thousands of people are injured skiing each year. About half of these result from skiing in off-posted areas, which can be extremely dangerous. Train adequately before you ski. If you have never been skiing before, take classes to strengthen your muscles-well in advance. ALWAYS ski with a companion, in case you sustain an injury. This is very important for beginners to remember.
Saunas make your skin feel tight, not because its texture is improved but because it's dried out. For your skin's sake, don't take saunas too often.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 14, 2005
Put Things Where they Belong
Safety and Saving Time
Time is money: Wasted Time = Wasted Money. So it goes without saying that the key to a profitable project is getting it done "on-time" or within budget. But getting the project done quicker does NOT mean getting it done in a manner which is not safe. To ensure that time is utilized to its best and that the job site remains safe, use the following, time-saving tips.
1. Keep an orderly work site. Assign one or two people the responsibility of keeping the job site clean so the workers don't have to climb or walk around construction materials and waste. Make it an ongoing process and don't leave the mess to clean up at the end of the day, because it won't get done! A clean site is a safe site.
2. Send any unused material back to the shop as soon as possible. This keeps the site clean and orderly and gives management the opportunity the ship the materials to another site where they can be used.
3. Don't overcrowd materials and workers. Give the crew room to work; they will be quicker and safer.
4. Although you have now assigned a person or team the responsibility for a clean and safe work site, make sure that the rest of the crew understands that it is EVERYONE'S responsibility to maintain good housekeeping standards.
5. Always keep an eye out for the little thing that may cause an accident; an accident is Lost Time, Big Time.
6. Keep the tool boxes and cabinets neat and orderly. It doesn't take much imagination to realize that digging around for a misplaced tool is lost time. And using the Wrong tool because you could not find the Right tool is, in most all cases, unsafe and a no-no.
7. Put the garbage in the garbage. This may seem simple but how many of you just walk away from that fast food bag after lunch? Now the wind comes up and the stuff is blowing all over the place. PUT IT IN THE TRASH before someone twists their back getting it out of a trench that is ready to backfill, or worse yet, falls into the trench head first.
All this boils down to one simple statement which we have all heard over and over again: "Put Things Where They Belong." By doing so, you will be using time to its best, and you will make the job easier, smoother, quicker.......and Safer.
http://www.webworldinc.com/wes-con/safetime.htm
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 11, 2005
Lack of Sleep
Presented by Niomi Krzystowczyk, Baton Rouge Tower Employee
Lack of sleep - can do more harm than you know
For some reason lately, I am not getting enough sleep. Okay, the reason is my new baby girl. I have found that I have a hard time concentrating on everyday things, much less complicated issues.
It has been well publicized that lack of sleep and fatigue is a major cause of traffic injuries and fatalities. From the Smart Motorist Website:
Driver Fatigue is an important cause of road crashes.
Fatigue is very difficult to identify in crashes only estimates can be made based on police statements or the circumstances of crashes.
Stats
In 1997 fatigue was involved in at least 18% of fatal accidents and accounts for about 7% of all accidents.
Facts
Research shows that 62% of fatigue crashes or near crashes occurred when drivers had driven for less than 2 hours, often on everyday trips near homes, where most driving is done.
Nevertheless, long periods of driving are fatiguing in themselves, placing drivers at risk even if they were not tired when they started the trip. Studies have shown that breaks from driving tend to delay the development of fatigue effects on driving. The benefits of breaks are more pronounced early in a journey.
Research shows that almost half of the drivers who had a fatigue crash or near crash said they had not had a full night's sleep the night before.
If that is not enough for you to get more sleep, I also found out that lack of sleep is associated with weight gain. Studies show that lack of sleep affects appetite regulating hormones. The less you sleep, the more you eat and consequently the higher your BMI (body mass index). In fact in one study they found that 20 more minutes of sleep had a significant reduction in the test women's group BMI. For people who sleep less than 8 hours per night, their BMI was inversely proportional to their sleep duration (http://www.eurekalert.org/pub-releases/2004-12/plos-sda120104.php).
So it is good for you to get the right amount of sleep. Your safety and the safety of those around you depend upon it.
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 10, 2005
Hard Hats
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Slade Shealy.
While looking for a topic for a morning tailgate, I happened upon this story that could make a good SFTH.
Guy's Summer Vacation 2003
I just got back from two vacations. I took a few pictures so I thought I would share them with everybody.
The last vacation was 2 weeks of elk hunting in Colorado with my bow. Hiking around at 11,500 feet was fun but exhausting. I survived and so did all the elk.
The first vacation was a little different. I took two weeks of annual leave to go to Montana with the Forest Service to be a Safety Officer. I was assigned to the Ball Fire near Glacier National Park. Everything was going fine until I heard the "Rocky Boy #20" crew boss call "Medical Emergency- Clear the Tac Channel !!" Being the S.O. assigned to that division, I hustled over to find EMT's working on a fallen firefighter. I left the medical stuff to the EMT's and began my investigation of the incident. It didn't take long to find out that a tree had fallen on Carl. The Forest Service calls these trees "snags" and by western standards this was a small "snag." It had burned through at the base and fallen without warning or noise.
Carl the firefighter was hit on the back of the head and knocked down into the ashes.
Note the round hole above his left ear where a limb stub entered.
Carl was conscious but dazed. He was carried down the mountain on a stretcher and medivaced to a Kalispell, MT hospital. Carl was in good enough shape to be sent to his home hospital two days after the accident.
What I learned on my summer vacation: Keep that plastic hat on your head, it could save your life too!!
Slade Shealy
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
March 9, 2005
Bleed Valves
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.
We have all seen consequences of someone failing to use the proper block and bleed measures before disconnecting lines. Consequences can be minor or severe depending upon the chemical and amount of pressure on a line.
You who have dealt with quick fittings, how many times were you anxious to get a trailer loaded and really didn't take the time to think ahead and make sure you had the means for disconnecting safely? Say you blow the lines with 90# N2, then you want to disconnect the ears on quick connects and realize there is not a bleed valve? What then? Bleed back to the tank you were loading from? What if there is a one-way check in the line? Bleed into the trailer the best you can? Still going to be a small amount of pressure on the line which can make a mess all around and on you. What most do is use a PV stick 10-12' long and try to knock the ears off one at a time remotely--messy, and can still bite you.
I can recall several examples throughout the plant where proper bleeding of lines has not occurred. Steam, friendly old steam, couldn't hurt someone if it tried, right? Don't tell that to an operator in the plant who disconnected a steam line which had quick connect fittings. Steam line had full pressure and scalded his legs. Could have killed him with the heavy steam connections on the end if it had whipped the right way.
Or how about when we used to do red dye blends, and the fellow disconnected what he thought was a line that had been bled and ended up looking like a speckled trout.
Do it right all the time. Put yourself in control of the situation. You will be glad you did when time to disconnect.Doors
| ---------- Safety From The Heart ---------- |
from Slade Shealy.
One day last week I was approaching the door to the reception area in the admin building on my way out to the parking lot. There is a small window on the door and I noticed someone about 10 feet from the door walking towards it. What I couldn't see was that there was someone else right next to the door swiping their badge. I went on through the door and almost collided with the person on the other side. Even worse than the near-collision between the two of us was the fact that the door (which is fairly thick and heavy) came very close to hitting the other person in the head. This could have been a first aid if not worse.
If you are about to enter a door that has a window, LOOK THROUGH IT.
If it does not have a window, OPEN IT SLOWLY.
Doors are easy to take for granted, but that's just the thing that can cause an injury.
Slade Shealy
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Been around before, but worth sending again, lest we forget! - DR
Once again Charlie Daniels speaks his feelings and once again he is right on the money. Charlie needs to be writing for a major news magazine.
The Straight Scoop from Charlie Daniels
I've just returned from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Naval Air Station base where we did three shows for the troops and toured several locations around the post visiting with some of the finest military personnel on planet earth. The kids seemed to really enjoy the shows and especially liked "This Ain't No Rag, It's A Flag" and "In America". We had a great time with them.
We saw Camp X-Ray, where the Taliban detainees are being held only from a distance, but I picked up a lot of what's going on there from talking with a lot of different people.
The truth of the matter is that this operation is under a microscope. The Red Cross has an on site presence there and watches everything that goes on very closely. The media is not telling you the whole truth about what's going on over there. The truth is that these scum bags are not only being treated humanely, but they are probably better off healthwise and medically than they've ever been in their lives. They are fed well, able to take showers and receive state of the art medical care. And have their own Moslem chaplain. I saw several of them in a field hospital ward where they were being treated in a state of the art medical facility.
Now let's talk about the way they treat our people. First of all, they have to be watched constantly. These people are committed and wanton murderers who are willing to die just to kill someone else. One of the doctors told me that when they had Taliban in the hospital the staff had to really be careful with needles, pens and anything else which could possibly be used as a weapon. They also throw their excrement and urine on the troops who are guarding them. And our guys and gals have shown great restraint in not retaliating. We are spending over a million dollars a day maintaining and guarding these nasty killers and anyone who wants to see them brought to the U.S.A. for trial is either out of their heads or a lawyer looking for money and notoriety. Or both.
I wish that the media and the Red Cross and all the rest of the people who are so worried about these criminals would realize that this is not a troop of errant Boy Scouts. These are killers of the worst kind. They don't need protection from us, we need protection from them. If you don't get anything else out of this soapbox, please try to realize that when you see news coverage much of the time you're not getting the whole story, but an account filtered through a liberal mindset with an agenda.
We have two fights on our hands, the war against terror and the one against the loudmouthed lawyers and left wing media who would sap the strength from the American public by making us believe that we're losing the war or doing something wrong in fighting it. Remember these are the same people who told us that Saddam Hussein's Republican guard was going to be an all but invincible enemy and that our smart bombs and other weapons were not really as good as the military said that they were.
They also took up for Bill Clinton while he was cavorting around the Oval office with Monica Lewinsky while the terrorists were gaining strength and bombing our Embassies and dragging the bodies of dead American heroes around the dusty streets of Somalia. It's a shame that we can't have an unbiased media who would just report the truth and let us make up our own minds.
Here I must commend Fox News for presenting both sides much better than the other networks. They are leaving the other cable networks in the dust.
People like being told the truth.
Our military not only needs but deserves our support. Let's give it to them.
The next time you read a media account about the bad treatment of the Taliban in Cuba, remember what I told you. Been there done that.
Footnote: I got an e-mail from a rather irate first cousin of mine the other day who has a daughter who's a lawyer and she seemed to think that I was painting all lawyers with the same brush. Please understand that I'm not doing that at all. That would be like saying that all musicians were drug addicts. There are a lot of good and honest attorneys out there. I happen to have one of them. But it seems that they never get any airtime. It's always the radicals who get their opinions heard, who fight the idea of the military tribunals and cite The Constitution and the integrity of America as their source of justifying their opinions. Well, first of all The Constitution says "We the people of the United States", it doesn't mention any other country.
And secondly as far as integrity is concerned, I don't think some of these folks would know integrity if it bit them in the posterior.
What do you think? God Bless America.
Charlie Daniels
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MOMS
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a . . .?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation 'Housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know? The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out) I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood . . .. What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child. Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."
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The Folden Napkin
This is a tear jerker - shows how compassionate people can be. Enjoy:-)
True Story - If this doesn't light your fire -- your wood is wet!!
I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy.
But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie. He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome.
I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade. The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ"; the pairs of white shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.
I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties.
Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background,shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto a cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.
Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.
He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often had heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.
A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, headwaitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of the 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table. Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.
He grinned. "OK, Frannie, what was that all about?" he asked. We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay." "I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?" Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK" she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is."
Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do.
After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.
"What's up?" I asked.
"I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup." She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie."
"Pony Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this." She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds.
Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "truckers."
That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called ten times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work, met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.
Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.
"Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate your coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!" I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins.
"First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside.
As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.
Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it.
I turned to his mother.
"There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. Happy Thanksgiving."
Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well. But you know what's funny?
While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table. Best worker I ever hired.
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GOD SENDS ANGELS
This was written by a Hospice of Metro Denver physician.
I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted to share it with my family and dearest friends.
I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel. At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now.
So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, and He sent me". I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee.
She gave the food to the kids in the car who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little. She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet.
She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.
I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or something?" This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."
It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.
Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...
Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
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Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms. PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
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Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best ."
Real mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade.....It is marked by the progression of Mamma, to Mommy to Mom.....
The images of Mother
4 years of age----My Mommy can do anything !
8 years of age----My Mom knows a lot ! A whole lot !
12 years of age---My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years of age---Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age---Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age-- That old woman? She's way out of date !
25 years of age--Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age--Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years of age--Wonder what Mom would have thought about it ?
65 years of age--Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes.
Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows !
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PRAYERS
May those we love, love us.
If they cannot love us,
May God turn their hearts.
If God cannot turn their hearts,
May they turn their ankles,
So we may know them by their limping.
-- Irish Saying
May you have walls for the wind
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks bedside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire.
-- Irish Blessing
May there always be work for your hands to do,
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane,
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you,
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
-- Irish Blessing
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God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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TGIF-Today God Is First
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Discerning the Work of God
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Friday, March 18, 2005
by Os Hillman
Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, O my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophetess Noadiah and the rest of the prophets who have been trying to intimidate me. ~ Nehemiah 6:14
Nehemiah set out to rebuild the wall at Jerusalem that had been destroyed. Nehemiah held a position in the Persian Empire that would be comparable to Chief of Staff in our government. Nehemiah wept over the destruction of the city wall and repented for the sins of his generation and the generations before him that had led to the fall of Jerusalem. Nehemiah responded to the news by seeking approval from his superior to take time off to rebuild the wall. Tobiah and Sanballat met Nehemiah's action with resistance, as did Noadiah the prophetess and other prophets. These were the religious and political leaders of his day. They became distractions to his work and opposed him.
Whenever God does a new work, it is often met with resistance by those in the established religious community, and sometimes among those from whom we would expect support. Jesus met the same resistance when He began His public ministry. This same phenomenon happens today. When God begins a new work that cannot be easily explained based upon prior experiences, many make the mistake of assuming it not to be of God. The very people who should embrace and encourage the work become the source of skepticism and opposition. God tells us that His ways are not our ways. He does things in ways beyond our limited understanding.
Before you are tempted to criticize or oppose something that looks different from your past experience, ask God for wisdom and discernment. Examine why you might be tempted to oppose it. The Lord cannot be put in a box. He delights in doing things in ways that may not fit our former paradigms.
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2004
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Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com
Os Hillman Copyright 2004
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… and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. Eph 4:19 (NASB)
Years ago I saw a cartoon that has stuck with me for years. This particular copy had been copied and enlarged so many times that is was highly pixilated and flecked with random bits of nothingness, but the picture and words were still discernable. A line drawing of Ben Franklin’s vote for national bird was spread across the page. Below it in a bold font were these words: “It is hard to fly like an eagle when I am living with these turkeys.” This, of course is an obvious reference to Isaiah 40:31,
“Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Most of us recognize these powerful words. Daily, I wear and eagle necklace to remind me to do exactly that. Yet, Paul is giving us a warning about living with turkeys!
If we insist upon spending considerable time living with “gentiles” and seeking to fit into their world, we will have a difficult time indeed walking in the ways of God. I remember the first time I used the fabled “f” word. I had avoided using it for years, but I had returned to my home town to visit with friends. I found them in the bowling alley. We stood and talked for a few minutes, then sat at the counter to share while drinking Cokes. The conversation proceeded for a while, then something was said the irked me … and the word just “popped” out of my mouth. I was immediately embarrassed. My friends reveled in my slipup. My witness seemed damaged, and I soon left their company. In retrospect, I would never have used the word had it not been that I was trying to be a part of a world to which I did not belong.
We have already talked about some of their characteristics. Today we wrap up Paul’s list with a few more of the things we should NOT be sharing with them. “… and they, having become callous …” If you want to put that in “spiritual” terms, they have become hard hearted. The sinfulness of their ways no longer affects them. They no longer blush at foul language, the relish it. They no longer feel guilt at lusting after a person of the opposite sex; they feel joyous. I can’t help but think about the difference between TV shows of my youth and those of today. I grew up on Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best. The Andy Griffith Show was a weekly staple in our viewing habits. If husband and wife were shown in bed together, they were clothed in concealing pajamas and each had one foot on the floor. Compare that to today’s fare. Bedroom scenes from Everyone Loves Raymond are sexually charged, and that doesn’t even come close to Desperate Housewives! Still, I know “good Christians” who watch both shows and see nothing wrong … and some of those Christians have been believers much longer than I. Our hearts have been hardened. We have become calloused towards sexual perversion.
“… they … have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.” Recently, the CEO of The Boeing Company was fired for having an affair with a junior executive. Apparently he could not resist making a conquest … and she a shot at a higher position. Both traded sexual purity for personal gain. Is this not an adequate example of what Paul is telling us? Yet the divorce rate among Christians is equal to or slightly GREATER THAN that of non-believers! Tell me we are not spending too much time living with turkeys and not enough time flying with fellow eagles! My friends, it is time for us to look at our environment. Is it littered with white feathers and bird droppings? Or, do we look around us and find blue skies and white fluffy clouds? Are we seeking to be part of this world and separate from it at the same time? Is the life we exhibit on Sunday the same that our co-workers see on Monday? Hmmmmmmm.
Harley
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So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; Eph 4:17 - 18 (NASB)
“… walk no longer …” Have you ever received that command before? “… walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk …” How do Gentiles walk? Who are Gentiles? Hey, aren’t most of us Gentiles? What on earth is Paul trying to tell us? Oh, I get it. We are not to walk the way we used to walk. We are no longer Gentiles. We have been adopted into the family of God. We are Jews … not by physical circumcision of the flesh, but by spiritual circumcision of the heart. Sometimes it is easy for us to forget how we used to walk … or even how Gentiles walk. As a matter of fact, sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between the walk of a Gentile and the walk of a Christian. Paul is saying there should be.
“… walk no longer … in the futility of their (the Gentiles’) mind …” Do you remember what it feels like to walk in futility? Perhaps you might understand what I mean if I ask you this: Do you remember what it feels like to be always trying to do the right things … trying to be good enough … trying to be a “good little boy or girl”? I remember. It isn’t easy to be good enough to please God. It seems like His Ten Commandments soon grew into ten thousand. “Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Why did you do that? Don’t you know that good Christians don’t drink … smoke … swear … tell jokes with double innuendos … look at that kink of magazine … read that kind of book … watch that kind of movie … go to dances … think that way about a girl/guy? The list of “don’ts” is so great that it seems impossible to do anything right.
Just tonight we took our grandkids to the “First Ever Second Annual World’s Shortest Saint Patrick’s Day Parade” in Hot Springs. On the way back to the car, our granddaughter asked if she could walk on a strip of cement that held a guardrail. My immediate and unequivocal answer was “NO”. She complied unquestioningly. Then my mind railed against me. “What is wrong with walking there? What harm can it do? It is perfectly safe. There is absolutely no way she can get hurt.” My granddaughter did right. She obeyed. I did wrong. I laid a “law” on her that had no reason to exist. Before I walked another two steps, I turned to her and said, “Sure you can. Go ahead and walk there.” She did and was happy … and safe.
I am a legalist. I was raised by the Big Ten … Commandments. I had a lot of laws laid upon me, and I can really dish them out on anyone who enters my field of authority. I walked in the futility of my mind tonight … for just a moment. Fortunately, I repented in time to redeem the moment.
“… walk no longer … being darkened in their understanding …” That was me … tonight. And, I almost laid that darkness upon my granddaughter.
“… walk no longer … excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart …” We all know how it feels to be “excluded”. It hurts. It makes us feel miserable. It intensifies our feeling of inadequacy. And … most of the time … it is a self-imposed exclusion. I attend “seminary” classes in my church. These are not glorified Sunday School classes. These classes are deep discussions of valid and vitally important spiritual matters involving our church. The first time I attended a class, I felt excluded. I was “sitting on the outside looking in.” I was an outsider, but the door was open and I went through it. Now I am enjoying the camaraderie of fellow saints studying the Word of God helping set the course of our congregation for years to come.
Brothers and sisters don’t stand on the outside looking in. Step through the door of God’s salvation and enter the process that leads to maturity … maturity as an individual saint and maturity as a fellowship of believers.
Harley
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… from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. Eph 4:16 (NASB)
I’m a space nut. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to watch, on an old black and white TV with rabbit ears antenna, Neil Armstrong make that final step onto the lunar landscape. I have watched as many space shots as I possibly could … and those I could not watch, I absorbed on the first available news show. I was watching when Apollo 13 had its difficulties. I stuck to the TV and radio to see if we would loose our first astronauts in space. I watched in horror as Challenger veered off course and did indeed cost the lives of our first astronauts in space. I am something of a serious amateur when it comes to the space shuttles. I have a more than average understanding of those flying machines and what makes them work … or, in the case of Columbia, not work. They are amazing flying machines, far more complicated than anything most of us can possibly imagine. There are millions of parts that must work together for one of them to fly … and not all of those parts are even attached to the shuttle. However, it only takes the failure of one part to make a shuttle fail. On the Challenger flight, it was a simple “O” ring. On Columbia it was a small failure in the heat shield caused by a two-pound piece of foam. And so it is with the body of Christ.
In yesterday’s verse, we found that Jesus is the Head of the body – the Church. Today we see that from that Head causes the growth of the whole body. And, we find that the whole body is composed of many parts … all “being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies …” Just like the space shuttle is composed of many parts, all essential to a successful mission, the body of Christ is composed of many parts … you and me and millions like us … all essential to a successful mission. That is not to say that one part of the body can’t do the work of another. It is saying that each of us has a role to play and that role is vitally important to the perfect function of the body.
I often us the work picture of me with a broken right arm … yes, I’m right handed. Does that mean I cannot write a check or sign my name or take notes during a sermon until that arm is healed? Certainly not. I can learn to do all of those functions with my left hand. Oh, I will not be able to do it as well, as fast, or as neatly as I did with my right, but the job will get done.
The point is this: you are important to the effective functioning of your particular Church. What’s more, your local Church is important to the proper function of the church in your city, state, or nation. That is what Paul means by “what every joint supplies”. We all supply something to the brother or sister who is next to us. You know what? I like being important! Even with my small contribution to the body, I like knowing that I am having a small influence on your life in Oregon, Michigan, Arkansas, Illinois, Hawaii, Indonesia, South Africa, or where ever you are today. I also enjoy knowing that you are giving me strength as you send me words of encouragement. If I need prayer, I know I have but to ask and YOU will pray for me! I love the plan of God! I am essential to His operation. YOU are essential to His operation. We all, working in unity, make God’s plan work!
And there is even more in this verse. Paul tells us that we cause each other to grow and become strong (spell that “mature”) in love. We lovingly help each other, and we grow stronger in our love as we give our love away. Grow strong my brothers and sisters. Feed each other with what God has given you … and in doing so, we will accomplish ALL that God has planned for us to do.
Harley
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… but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ … Eph 4:15 (NASB)
Whoa! Hey, do you see that little preposition in the middle of this verse? There it is. See it? “… into Him …” That means that something is becoming “Him”. What is it? Let’s take a closer look.
“… but speaking the truth in love …” Ok. It is good to speak the truth, but the truth can become a bludgeoning club if it is improperly used. Have you ever been hit over the head with the truth? I have. There are those who use the truth like a baseball bat on a watermelon. It’s not a pretty sight to watch is it? It is even less pretty if you are the “watermelon” being bludgeoned. The modifying phrase here is “in love”. The truth wielded in love, though painful, is more like a surgeon’s scalpel. Sure, there is pain involved in surgery, but that pain is necessary in order to make the patient better. A tumor is excised and healing can take place when a scalpel is used in the hands of a skilled surgeon. Likewise, the truth spoken in love can be an instrument of healing. Sure, the truth hurts, but if healing is the intended and expected result, the pain is worth it. So maturity means speaking the truth in love. That’s good, but that is just part of the sentence. Let’s continue.
“… we are to grow up,” and here is our pivotal preposition, “in all aspects into Him …” (I put the italics on the word “into” for emphasis.) Growing up is a good thing; we cannot deny that. Remember Aunt Anna? Being taller than her was part of my growing up. But that is not all. We are to grow up in all aspects. Do you remember what Luke said about the child Jesus? “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” Luke 2:52 (KJV). It would be wise here to take a brief look at each of the four ways Jesus “increased”, that mean matured. “Wisdom”, that is the ability to take knowledge and put it to practical use. I had a roommate in college who was brilliant … but he didn’t have any common sense. In a way, we could call wisdom “common sense” because wisdom gives us the ability to take any bit of knowledge and apply it to daily living. “Stature”, He grew up physically. He became a mature physical man. “In favor with God”, God was pleased with Jesus’ growth. That is evidenced when Jesus was baptized and Father God said, “This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” “In favor with man”, Jesus was liked by everyone who know Him – at least before He began the second year of His public ministry. We might say he was popular in Nazareth. He was a good carpenter. He ran the family business in an upright and honest manner. If He said a job would be done on Tuesday, it was done on Tuesday. That is what Paul means by “all aspects”.
Now for our prepositional phrase: “… into Him …” It doesn’t say, “like Him”. It says “into Him”. I find this interesting. We are to grow up and be Jesus …at least the people around us should be able to see Jesus in us … when we are mature. That is a tough standard to achieve, and I am certain that I have not yet attained that high goal. So, I guess I still need the gifts God has given me through Jesus. I need to keep maturing so that some day I will be made “into Him who is the head, even Christ”. Fortunately, I don’t have to reach this goal by myself. My spiritual mentors: the apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers, will help me along the way. And let’s not forget the Holy Spirit, who is the Seal of God on my life, who will use all the gifts of God to do a major share of the maturing in me.
Harley
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As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming … Eph 4:14 (NASB)
Captives, gifts, five-fold ministry, apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers … what do these have to do with our walk? I did promise to help you in your walk, didn’t I? And so I shall … in due season. But first we must finish a bit of the transition from who we are as individuals in Christ to our walk, both individually and collectively, in Christ. So the transition continues …
Maturity. We spent the last session talking about maturity, and we continue today. As a result of the input from the gifts given to us as captives of King Jesus, we can obtain the allusive maturity we all seek. Remember Aunt Anna? It was only after years of towering over her that I finally became a man … a mature individual with the ability to think for myself, decide for myself, and act on my own initiative. Even now I continue to mature spiritually and emotionally. I am not the man I used to be … thank God for major miracles! All of this has come about because of the influence of men and women of God in my life.
Paul tells us that when we mature, we will be “no longer children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine …” When I was a little kid, I would believe what any adult, or even an older child, would tell me. I had an uncle who was a perpetual joker. Uncle Paul was liable to say anything at any time. In my immature state, I could never understand that sometimes he said things just to “get my goat”. Over time, I learned that his joking could easily get me in trouble with my dad and eventually mastered the ability to know when Uncle Paul was joking and when he was serious. If we take this experience to the spiritual realms, a child will believe anything. He needs someone who will keep him in the right paths. As he grows older and wiser, that child will learn to think wisely for himself.
There is a trend in modern families to let a child think for himself far too early. A two year old is not capable of making decisions for himself. That is why God gave him parents. The parents should have the wisdom to lead the child in the right paths. This is especially true in spiritual matters. It frightens me when parents say, “I will not force my beliefs upon my child. I shall wait until he is old enough to make up his own mind.” I can assure you that child will make up his own mind alright; and that decision will most likely bring heartache to both the parents and himself. An undisciplined child will nearly always find ways to serve his own desires and appetites.
Quite to the contrary, God insists that the parents lead the child in the paths of righteousness. Listen to this: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Prov 22:6 (KJV) My friends, this is a COMMAND! There is no option here. Solomon did not say, “I suggest you train …” Nor did he say, “It might be a good idea if you train …” He specifically says, “Train …” Only when we train a child will he remain faithful. But I digress from what we began with.
Maturity. That is the goal of all the gifts, all the leadership, and all the effort put into training. Our maturity as individuals. Our maturity as a body of believers. To what end? So that we will remain true to God’s will for our lives. So that we will set a course to live godly lives and not depart from it. So that we will not be misled by false teachers whose gospel tickles the ears and kills the soul.
Harley
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c. 2005 Harley E. Hudson
If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@earthlink.net and request a free subscription.
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Boys and Girls Club Fish Fundraiser
March 21, 2005
5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m
Drive Through and Pick Up At The Club
Fish, Cole Slaw, French Fries, Hush Puppies, Tomato Relish
$10.00 Per Plate
Please Contact Tena Simpson For Tickets
Ext. 6510
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The Last Living Supper - Central Baptist Church
March 25 @ 7:00 p.m., March 26 @ 2:00 p.m., March 27 @ 6:00 p.m.
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April 3 El Dorado 3:00 p.m. Xiang Gao, Violin
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Today's Youth Tomorrow's Leaders Fish Dinner, April 4
Fish
French Fries
Hushpuppies
Cole Slaw
Tartar Sauce/Ketchup
$7.00 4 pieces $10.00 6 pieces
Monday - April 4 - 5:00 ? 7:00
BancorpSouth Parking Lot
Tickets available from TYTL Class Members & Committee Members
and BancorpSouth, Farmers Bank & Trust, Peoples Bank and Summit Bank
Catered by Ole Feed House
For More Information 901-2521
For tickets, contact Celia McQuiston at 235-6371
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What: Crawfish Boil
When: Sat April 9 1030 - ? (prob 2ish)
Where: Courthouse Square, East
Why: Rocky Roberson Fire Station
Mount Vernon Volunteer Fire Department will be having a crawfish boil on Saturday, April 9, 2005 from 10:30AM till we run out on the East Courthouse Square. The proceeds will go to the development of our new fire station. The station will be named in honor of Bob "Rocky" Roberson, one of the two founding members of MVVFD who succumbed to cancer earlier this year.
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NRA Personal Protection Course - April 22 & 23
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May 20 & 21 - Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off. Tickets and/or Information 800-482-3330. Www.magnoliachamber.com
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
01. Spc. Nicholas E. Wilson, 21, of Glendale, Ariz., died Mar. 11, in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, while conducting a roving patrol when his military vehicle rolled into a water-filled ditch after the shoulder of the road he was on collapsed. Wilson was assigned to 1st Battalion, 9th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Camp Casey, Korea.
02. Staff Sgt. Donald D. Griffith, Jr., 29, of Mechanicsville, Iowa, died Mar.11 as a result of hostile action in, Tal Afar, Iraq. Griffith was assigned to 2nd Squadron, 14th Cavalry Regiment, Fort Lewis, Wash.
03. Sgt. Seth K. Garceau, 22, of Oelwein, Iowa, died March 4 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany, of injuries sustained in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on Feb. 27 when an improvised explosive device detonated near his military vehicle. Garceau was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 224th Engineer Battalion, Fairfield, Iowa.
04. Lance Cpl. Joshua L. Torrence, 20, of Lexington, S.C., died March 14 of wounds received as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
05. Staff Sgt. Shane M. Koele, 25, of Wayne, Neb., died Mar. 16 at Shindand Airfield, Afghanistan, from injuries sustained Mar. 15 in Shindand, Afghanistan, when a land mine exploded near his HMMWV. Koele was assigned to the 212th Military Police Company, Kitzingen, Germany.
06. Staff Sgt. Ricky A. Kieffer, 36, of Ovid, Mich., died Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, when enemy forces using small arms fire attacked his unit. Kieffer was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 182nd Field Artillery Regiment (Multiple Launch Rocket System), Detroit, Mich.
07. Spc. Paul M. Heltzel, 39, of Baton Rouge, La., died Mar. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, while conducting a mounted patrol when a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated. Heltzel was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 2nd Battalion, 156th Infantry Regiment, 256th Brigade Combat Team, Eunice, La.
08. Spc. Rocky D. Payne, 26, of Howell, Utah, died March 16 in Iraq when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Payne was assigned to the Army's 497th Transportation Company, 44th Corps Support Battalion, 1st Corps Support Command, Fort Lewis, Wash.
The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. Navy pilot, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.
Navy Commander Thomas E. Dunlop of Neptune Beach, Fla., will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery on March 21.
On April 6, 1972, Dunlop took off in his A-7E Corsair II from the USS Coral Sea on a bombing mission of enemy targets in Quang Binh Province, North Vietnam. While over the target area, his aircraft was struck by an enemy surface-to-air missile and as his wingman watched, Dunlop’s aircraft exploded in a fireball and crashed. No emergency beeper signals were received from the area of his crash.
In April 1993, joint U.S. and Vietnamese teams interviewed five residents of Quang Binh Province about the crash, but the information did not further the investigation. In 1994, 1995, 1996 and 1998, U.S. and Vietnamese investigators interviewed at least 13 other people in the province without results. Meanwhile, U.S. survey teams visited potential crash sites in 1995, 1998 and twice in 2002. Again, no useful information was obtained. Then in 2003 and again in 2004, specialists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) excavated a crash site where they found aircraft debris, personal effects and human remains later identified by JPAC scientists as those of Dunlop.
Of the 88,000 Americans missing in action from all conflicts, 1,836 are from the Vietnam War with 1,399 of those within the country of Vietnam. Another 747 Americans have been accounted for since the end of the Vietnam War.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans from all conflicts, visit the DPMO Web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call 703-699-1169.
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Remember that for every soldier killed in modern war, 10 are wounded. Don't forget to pray for them and their families.
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Join the Delta Diamondbacks 24-hour prayer team sponsored by First Baptist Church of McNeill by calling Debi Scott at 695-3403.
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War Prayer list for those in harms way.(12/24)
Remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families. Our own Delta Diamond Backs, local national guard personnel are now patrolling Bagdad. They are part of the 1st Cavalry Division's, 39th Infantry Brigade.
Please update us when you know of someone who comes home (or is activated for service.)
Command Sergeant Major Tom Broom - U.S. Army - Kuwait
Kyle Burleston - U.S. Marines - Iraq
Jim Carrol - U.S. Navy Intelligence
Greg Davis - U.S. Army - Bagdad - Mark Davis's oldest son. Greg has two children; Jhett, 12 and Baily 3
Lang Doster - National Guard - Iraq - Angel Cranston's Brother
Sgt. Douglas E. Chappel - Kuwait
Alaina Downey - USAF - Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri - Steve Downey's daughter
Michael Drake - U.S. Navy - Persian Gulf
Lisa Dyson - U.S. Army Intelligence - Johnny Dyson's daughter
Jeremy Lee Eades U.S. Army - Roger and Jerri Eades son.
John Ford - U.S. Army Korea - Steve and Sharon Ford's son
Dickie Hartsfield's son - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Warren Haynie from Lewisville - Serving in Iraq
Matthew Johnson - Marines
Robby Johnson - USAF C-130 Crew Chief
Brennan Jones - U S Marines - Iraq
James A.Jones - US Navy
Pat Keister - USMC -
Terris Lyons - National Guard - Back home in Minden
Mick McDaniel - U.S. Air Force, unknown location - Richard Matherne's son-in-law
David Mitchell - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Opheline Moore - USArmy -
Brian Morgan - US Navy - in the Gulf somewhere
C.H. Osman - CAPT USN - Pentagon
Andrew Paladino - US Army SRA - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Nick Paladino - US Army Ssgt - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Bob Polk - Kuwait
Todd Raymond - USAF - Germany - Another MCC young man.
Bryan Ross - Wayne Specie Roy and Loretta Specie's
Jason Varner Deployed to an unknown Location Roy and Loretta Specie's
Lloyd Young - USMC - North Carolina - Cindy Martin's son
Please let us know of any updates to this list. James F.McClellan - KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com Also, at kvma.Com they have a list of people over seas.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Eccl 2:4-11 Job 14:1-3,5 2 Pet 2:7-9 Luke 4:5-8
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of the Columbia County LEPC reviewing the ElDorado Bomb Squad equipment, Pat Hammock and Joe Ward loading hose, HazWOpER trainees waiting to “suit up.”.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
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posted by Bug | 3:36 PM
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