Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Pandemonium Strikes Again

Volume 7, Issue 02

Hello ALL,

A F3 Tornado devastated portions of Union County, killing two and injuring 13.
~~~~~
Wednesday, we had a “Money Tree” breakfast for Daphne Roberts. She’s leaving for a two week mission trip to Kenya Monday. The food was great and I got lots of praise for my “famous” cheese grits. Daphne’s “Money Tree” wasn’t too shabby either.
~~~~~
So you want my cheese grits recipe? It’s simple;
Pick up a box of grits at the store (not instant. I like Quaker Quick Grits) Put eight cups of water in a pot and bring to a boil. Slowly stir in 2 cups uncooked grits and cover. Boil for five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add 1 stick of butter, stir and recover. Continue boiling for two minutes. Take off heat and add six slices (or more if you desire) American cheese. Stir and serve with pepper and salt to taste.
~~~~~
This week we share excerpts from “Da Bleat” of Friday, 14 January 2000.
~~~~~
David is prone to enjoy practical jokes. One Saturday, while Dusty and I were at the airport, David came by the house to pick him up. When he arrived, he heard the water running in the master bedroom shower. Figuring that his mother was using the shower, David started scratching on the living room wall (the shower wall joins the north wall of the living room.) Annette, hearing the sound, thought there was a water pipe burst in the wall and came charging out of the bathroom (she did pause to dress before running out of the bathroom.) Upon seeing David standing there grinning, she asked him; "What would you have done if I hadn't taken time to dress before running out to see if the house was flooding." To which David seriously replied; "I'd have been in Therapy for the rest of my life."

What do you call a Budgie that's been run over by a lawn mower ...
"shredded tweet"
~~~~~
Local businesses are offering $250 to any Columbia County resident who gets their GED (if they don’t already have a GED or High School Diploma.)
If you don’t have a Diploma or GED you could probably use the $250.
~~~~~
The first “Faith Builders” meeting of ‘05 was a smash hit. The food, fellowship and Word were great. Feel free to join us every 2nd and 4th Tuesday at 6:30.
~~~~~
The grand opening and dedication ceremony for The Hannah Medical Center will be held from 2-4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 16.
"We are a faith based life affirming center," said Kristi Price, member of the Center’s Board of Directors.
~~~~~
From our “I always wanted to know that” files;
Selah - - (se´le) , obscure Hebrew word occurring many times in Psalms and in Habakkuk. Its derivation is unknown. It may be a musical notation signifying a pause or the end of a phrase.
~~~~~
We’re always looking for stories as well as jokes and other contributions. Don’t hesitate to share any offerings with us.
~~~~~

Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize
the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past,
than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than successes,
than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice
every day regarding the attitude
we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past...
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me
and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you...

WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR ATTITUDES!

~~~~~
The Girl Scouts of Columbia County came together Jan. 3 at the First United Methodist Church to celebrate Samoa’s 30 th birthday with a Hawaiian luau. The girls were served tropical snacks, played several fun games, made interesting crafts and got to hear from a former Girl Scout, Necole Hayes, who is in school in Hawaii. The girls also got ready to sell cookies. Boxes are $3 and went on sale Friday.
I’ve already ordered mine. Have you?
~~~~~
Speaking of Diets;

"A review of 10 of the nation's most popular weight-loss programs found that except for Weight Watchers, none of them offer proof that they actually work at helping people shed pounds and keep them off. Only Weight Watchers had strong documentation that it worked - with one study showing that participants lost around 5 percent (about 10 pounds) of their initial weight in six months and kept off about half of it two years later. However, the researchers who conducted the review published in Tuesday's Annals of Internal Medicine stressed that the lack of scientific evidence should not be viewed as an attack on diet programs. 'There are no data on weight loss when you go to a health club, either,' said Thomas Wadden, a University of Pennsylvania weight-loss expert and the study's co-author. 'We hope that doctors and patients will use this information to make more informed decisions.' About 45 million Americans diet each year. People in this country spend $1 billion to 2 billion per year on weight-loss programs. But millions of those who enroll in weight-loss programs every year do not have much to go on when choosing a plan because few studies have been done that pass scientific muster."
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Vanessa requested this Recipe of the week; Josiah Loves it.

Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis Show: Everyday Italian
Difficulty: Easy Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes Yield: 8 servings

Meatballs:

1 small onion, grated
1/3 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
1 large egg
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1 slice fresh white bread, crust trimmed, bread torn into small pieces
½ cup grated Parmesan
8 ounces ground beef
8 ounces ground pork
Freshly ground black pepper
Soup:
12 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 pound curly endive, coarsely chopped (1 pound of escarole would be a good substitution)
2 large eggs
2 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for garnish
Salt and freshly ground black pepper



To make the meatballs: Stir the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese, beef and pork. Using 1 ½ teaspoons for each, shape the meat mixture into 1-inch-diameter meatballs. Place on a baking sheet.
To make the soup: Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the meatballs and curly endive and simmer until the meatballs are cooked through and the curly endive is tender, about 8 minutes. Whisk the eggs and cheese in a medium bowl to blend. Stir the soup in a circular motion. Gradually drizzle the egg mixture into the moving broth, stirring gently with a fork to form thin stands of egg, about 1 minute. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper.
Ladle the soup into bowls and serve. Finish soup with parmesan cheese if desired.
~~~
Here’s another version
Italian Wedding Soup Recipe courtesy Rocco Despirito Show: Melting Pot
Episode: Mediterranean--Wedding Celebration Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes Yield: 6 to 8 servings



8 cups homemade chicken broth
3/4 pound ground beef
3/4 pound ground pork
3 eggs, plus 5 eggs
1 cup dry bread crumbs
2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon dried parsley
½ cups grated Parmesan, plus 1 cup
2 medium heads escarole, cleaned and chopped


In a separate pot over medium heat, bring the broth to a boil. In a separate large bowl, combine the ground beef, ground pork, 3 eggs, bread crumbs, basil, parsley and ½ cup Parmesan. Mix well and form into bite-size balls. Drop the balls into the broth. Add escarole into broth. When meatballs rise to the top, they are cooked, about 6 to 7 minutes. When escarole is wilted it is done. In a separate bowl, combine the remaining 5 eggs with the remaining 1 cup of cheese. Pour this mixture into the soup, stirring continuously, until the egg is cooked.
Copyright 2004 Television Food Network, G.P. All rights reserved.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/
~~~~~
We received this message from Annette’s Aunt Jeanette this week;
Hello loved ones, have not emailed in a long time. Reason--------- we have been in Little Rock for the last 3 months so Charles could have treatment for multiple myeloma, diagnosed last Sept. He has had his first stem cell transplant Nov, 23. He is very, very weak, lost appetite, has no taste yet, lost about 50 or 60 pounds and needs lots of prayers. He goes back to little rock this Friday for tests and then to doctor next Wednesday. We don't know if we have to stay or not. Just wanted you to know why you haven't heard from me.
We love you all
Uncle Charles and Aunt Net.
~~~~~
This web site compares satellite images from a year ago with images now. The area shown was at the epicenter of the Christmas Tsunami. Looking at these photos gives a whole new meaning to the power of the waves that struck this region.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/flash/photo/world/2004-12-30-quakesatellite/movie.htm?startat=1 This site provides links to 313 newspapers in 36 countries. From Dothan, Ala to Glasgow, UK.
http://www.newseum.org/todaysfrontpages/
~~~~~
"Rockin Romania" has been invited to the White House to participate in honoring the workers who've struggled to save Romanian Orphans. We'll keep you posted.
~~~~~
The World Championship Rotary Tiller Race, held each June at the Emerson PurpleHull Pea Festival, will be telecast twice on Jan. 20. The 2005 PurpleHull Pea Festival will be June 24 and 25, with the tiller race on Saturday, June 25.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $1.80 $1.91 $1.98 $2.01
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
BREAKPOINT Commentaries
by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship

Give Me That Old-Time Religion—or Else
Protecting Religious Freedom
January 14, 2005

In Pennsylvania, a priest faithfully ministered to death-row inmates year after year—until a new warden ordered him to leave. In other prisons around the country, authorities restrict inmates’ access to Bibles and Bible commentaries. Inmates are forbidden to wear yarmulkes, or limited to one religious program a week, forcing them to choose between Bible study and worship services.

Does this sound like religious freedom to you? Or more like government actively interfering with religious rights, in violation of the Constitution?

Sadly, attempts to scour public life of anything remotely resembling religious activity are increasing—both inside and outside prison walls. When religious believers fight back against such violations of religious freedoms, we’re immediately accused of trying to impose theocracy on America.

Nonsense. A theocrat wants to force everyone to believe in his own god and follow that god’s rules. Christians are doing the opposite: trying to protect the right of citizens of all faiths to worship as they see fit.

Why do militant secularists attempt to snuff out religious practice, even in prisons, where it is so desperately needed? Partly, it’s a fanatical hostility toward religion. But these efforts also reflect a serious misunderstanding both of the role religion should play in public life and of religion’s social benefits.

First, we don’t enjoy religious freedom because the courts allow it. The founders secured this basic human right in the Constitution because, as the Declaration of Independence recognizes, the right to worship is given by God, not government.

Second, religion provides demonstrable social benefits. For example, Dr. Byron Johnson of the University of Pennsylvania studied graduates of Prison Fellowship’s InnerChange Freedom Initiative program for two years following their release. He found that they had a recidivism rate of only 8 percent compared to more than 20 percent for similar inmates and 67 percent nationally. This is great news to anyone but a secularist ideologue. Even while this study was underway, Americans United for Separation of Church and State sued the state of Iowa, claiming the program violates church-state separation. What’s galling is that they not only would destroy the religious rights of prisoners, but they would also deny society the advantage of changed lives: that is, fewer crimes.

The abuse of prisoners’ religious liberties is why Prison Fellowship supports the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act (RLUIPA), signed into law in 2000. The law promptly came under attack, and the Supreme Court will soon hear arguments in a case that will determine whether prisoners’ access to religious materials and programs can be protected by congressional action.

On this Sunday, Religious Freedom Day, get your church and your friends to join in praying that the Court will uphold this statute. The religious liberty of prisoners must be protected; nowhere do the lost need the Gospel more.

America’s founders wisely made religious freedom the first right; they knew that without it, all other rights are meaningless. Two centuries later, the prisoner sitting in his lonely cell, stripped of his Bible, his minister, and his right to worship, knows exactly what they meant.

For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: Justice Fellowship’s booklet “Religion Behind Bars” is an important resource for prison volunteers, chaplains, corrections officials, and prisoners to help them understand the rights of prisoners to practice their religion and the reasonable limitations on those rights that may be permissible.

Learn more about the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act (RLUIPA).

Adelle M. Banks, “Appeals Court Upholds Law Protecting Prisoners’ Religious Rights,” Beliefnet, 16 December 2004.
Pat Nolan, When Prisoners Return (Prison Fellowship, 2004).
For more information on criminal justice reform and religious freedom for prisoners, visit Justice Fellowship’s website.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050107, “The First Freedom: Religious Freedom Day.”
Learn more about InnerChange Freedom Initiative.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030618, “Shutting the Revolving Door: IFI and Texas.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030701, “Anatomy of a Conversion: Prison Programs and the Public Good.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030214, “The Risk of Doing Good: Lawsuits and Faith-Based Solutions.”

Copyright 2005 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BREAKPOINT with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries. Prison Fellowship Ministries may withdraw or modify this grant of permission at any time. To receive "BREAKPOINT" commentaries daily, you can subscribe for free at http://www. breakpoint. org/.
~~~~~
SAFE & SOUND IN THE CYBER AGE
"Microsoft the Security Company?"
[by Stephen Cobb and Chey Cobb]
***
Ever wonder why car companies don't make tires? A new Porsche doesn't come with Porsche tires even though Porsche engineers are some of the smartest in the world. We recently bought an almost-new Nissan and it came with the original tires, made by Goodyear. Of course, there are close relationships between car companies and tire companies, and they all have to work together on a variety of constantly evolving standards to make sure that the rubber that meets the roads fits the wheels on the wagon, so to speak.
What has this got to do with computer security? Some alert NewsScan readers will have guessed already: Microsoft has planted its feet firmly in the computer security business. Now think of Microsoft as the GM of computing (actually a closer approximation of Microsoft's position in the IT world would be a mega-GM that had absorbed Ford, Toyota, Honda, and Daimler Chrysler). In other words, Microsoft makes most of the world's operating system software and most of the world's application software, which together make up the "cars" we are talking about.
The safety of those cars, the rubber on the road in our analogy, is currently entrusted to a wide range of companies, big and small, companies like Symantec, Computer Associates, McAfee, Trend Micro, ZoneAlarm, Sygate, Grisoft, et al. These companies make their money selling products that help us to use Microsoft's products without skidding, crashing, or otherwise going off the virtual highway. For the most part they manage to perform this function without negatively impacting performance or the usability of our systems, while constantly evolving to meet new threats, many of which arise from defects in the very car they ride on, Microsoft's Windows OS and Office applications.
However, through a series of recent announcements, Microsoft has indicated that it would like a slice of the revenue these security companies earn from protecting users of Microsoft products. Some Wall Street analysts have declared that this is a good move for Microsoft, and bad news for all those security companies that will lose market share to Microsoft. Given the slavish, sheep-like manner in which some investors follow the words of Wall Street analysts, it could indeed be good news for Microsoft, a sort of self-fulfilling investment prophecy, until the world wakes up to what a bad idea it is for Microsoft to make the tires for its cars.
The last time Microsoft tried this, the results, for users, were dismal. Of course, these days it is hard to find a Wall Street analyst with a memory longer than the last four quarters, so you probably won't see many references to Microsoft's 1993 vintage Anti-Virus for DOS in current discussions of Microsoft's security ventures (but you can find a very detailed critique of the product, written about ten years ago by the late Yisrael Radai of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, at cobb.com/pclan, or just Google "MSAV").
We would like to quote from the first paragraph of this review:
"The very fact that such software [Microsoft AV] is supplied with DOS makes it likely that it will become one of the most widely used AV packages in the world and the de facto standard, regardless of its quality. Precisely for this reason, it will be specifically targeted by virus writers. If there are any weaknesses whatsoever in the software, they will be ruthlessly exploited by these people."
In fact, Microsoft's implementation of anti-virus back then was so bad it never gained traction in the market place, but that does not undermine the serious implications of Mr. Radai's very astute observations. During the last ten years Microsoft has become more effective at forcing its software on users -- flaws and all (you will know this if you have ever tried to remove Internet Explorer from your Windows computer).
Of course, today's malicious code writers frequently target products by Symantec, McAfee, et al. But the very fact that there is still an "et al." provides a depth of protection that will be eroded by any further expansion of Microsoft into the security arena. Perhaps the best outcome will be a repeat of the Firefox phenomenon, in which increasingly sophisticated users decide that the best way to deal with systemic security flaws in Microsoft's browser is to use a different browser. This has already produced a significant decline in market share for Internet Explorer. Heck, with Apple now selling a very powerful Mac for less than $500, complete with cool applications like Garage Band and Appleworks, some people may decide to drive the Internet highway in a completely different vehicle, on tires of their own choosing.
[Chey Cobb, CISSP, wrote "Network Security for Dummies" and has provided computer security advice to numerous intelligence agencies. Her e-mail address is chey at soteira dot org. Stephen Cobb, CISSP, wrote "Privacy for Business" and helped launch several successful security companies. He can be reached as scobb at cobb dot com.]
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
# putsch: an attempt to overthrow a government.
# impervious: impenetrable; also, not capable of being affected.
# cosmopolite: a cosmopolitan person.
# quagmire: a predicament.
# eldritch: unearthly; weird; eerie.
# indurate: to make hard; to harden.
# slake: to satisfy or quench; also, to cause to lessen.
# profuse: plentiful; copious.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it." - Arthur Schopenhauer

"Muddy water will become clear if allowed to stand undisturbed, and so too will the mind become clear if it is allowed to be still." - Deng Ming-Dao

"A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets." - Arthur C. Clarke

"It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves." - Carl Gustav Jung

"You'll never get mixed up if you simply tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember what you have said, and you never forget what you have said." - Sam Rayburn

"More and more I come to value charity and love of one's fellow being above everything else. All our lauded technological progress - our very civilization - is like the axe in the hand of the pathological criminal." - Albert Einstein

"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time." - Viktor Frankl

"In every part and corner of our life, to lose oneself is to be gainer; to forget oneself is to be happy." - Robert Louis Stevenson
~~~~~
FLASH CARD "Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements." (Queen Elizabeth II)
*****
FLASH CARD "We do not see, or we forget, that the birds that are idly singing around us mostly live on insects or seeds, and are thus constantly destroying life." (Charles Darwin)
*****
FLASH CARD "You may break, you may shatter the vase if you will, But the scent of the roses will hang round it still." (Thomas Moore)
*****
FLASH CARD "Mock Pate de Foi Gras. Saute half pound of chicken livers gently in butter or chicken fat. Add 2 onions sliced and fried, and 2 fresh onions with water to cover. Cook for an hour or until chicken livers are very soft and liquor is reduced. Fry mushrooms cut in small pieces and mash all together. Place clove garlic in press and add juice. Add onion juice, lemon juice to taste, pinch of oregano and marjoram. " (Michael Grinor)
*****
FLASH CARD "Very few of us are what we seem." (Agatha Christie)

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GCF: Pandemonium Strikes Again

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
--------------------------------

When the ice-maker on our refrigerator broke, my husband dropped by the local hardware to find the part. Because the sun was so bright that day and the interior of the store was dark, his eyes hadn't quite adjusted when he walked in. He accidentally stepped on the foot of a woman examining some samples. She screamed, causing my husband to jump sideways into a display of fireplace tools that went crashing in every direction. Unnerved, he stumbled over to the service desk, and as he put his hands on the counter, he flipped over a bowl of marbles, scattering them everywhere.

After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he announced to the wide-eyed woman working there, "My refrigerator doesn't work."

She replied, simply, "I don't doubt it."
- ----------------- -

GCF: Bad Day

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
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You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first thing in the morning and says, "Today is Nerd Day at school, Dad. Can I borrow some of your clothes?"
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GCF: Childbirth

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife.

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a few more minutes."

"Is it a girl or boy?" I asked excitedly.

The doctor replied, "I don't know. It's hard to tell by the ears."
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GCF: Late for Class

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
--------------------------------

At a prestigious university there is a clear hierarchy that outlines how long one was to wait for a class to begin if the professor were absent. A full professor rated fifteen minutes. An associate only ten. A mere instructor was expected to be on time, if not early. This system worked only one way, however; and students were afforded no such grace.

It was to be expected, therefore, that one professor, the foremost authority in his field by his own admission, would register distinct annoyance when a student, just out of military service, was late for class for the third morning running.

"Tell me," the professor began, "exactly what did they say in the Army when you sauntered in late like this?"

"Well," mused the unperturbed young man... "first they saluted, then they asked, 'How are you this morning, sir?'"
- ----------------------------- -

GCF: By The Book
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com
------------------------

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me.

The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret. They covered for me by calling my kitten "the Book," since I had so many in my room.

One morning I was leaving the dorm with the kitten in a carrier. A student stopped me and asked, "Where are you taking the Book?"

I explained that I was taking the kitten to the vet. "She's getting neutered today," I told him.

"Hmmm," the student responded, "no sequels."

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[GCFL.net] Enjoy Life

/* I was just about to write saying that donations are a little thin this time around, but that it was probably because of the donations to the people in India, California and others. However, after a late-night trip to the post office box, I was pleasantly surprised to find over 200 letters! What an encouraging sight that was! Thanks for your generous support.

If you want to find out more about the donation drive, go to http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php */

The rich industrialist from the North was horrified to find the southern fisherman lying lazily beside his boat, smoking a pipe.

"Why aren't you out fishing?" said the industrialist.

"Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman.

"Why don't you catch some more?"

"What would I do with them?"

"You could earn more money," was the industrialist's reply. "With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nylon nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me."

"What would I do then?" asked the fisherman.

"Then you could really enjoy life."

"What do you think I am doing right now?"

Received from HAND! Have A Nice Day!.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Redneck Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores, he picked up a mirror and looked in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the "picture," but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.

One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly WITCH he's runnin' around with!"

Received from Critters & Friends.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Long Sermon

Gladys Dunn was new in town and decided to visit the church nearest to her new apartment.

She appreciated the pretty sanctuary and the music by the choir, but the sermon went on and on. Worse, it wasn't very interesting. Glancing around, she saw many in the congregation nodding off.

Finally it was over. After the service, she turned to a still sleepy-looking gentleman next to her, extended her hand and said, "I'm Gladys Dunn."

He replied, "You and me both!"

Received from Case Bonebrake.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Sick Bull

A farmer asked his vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn't doing well at all. After checking the bull's vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill. He forced open the bull's mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet.

Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way.

The vet exclaimed, "Well, looks like your bull is healed!"

The farmer replied, "Now give me one of those pills. I've gotta catch him!"
Received from Rev. Mack Mobley.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Lawn Mower Sale

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle", said the little boy. After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started." The preacher said, "I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!"

Received from JPGHANSON.
-=+=-
GCFL Donation Drive
Sunday, January 9, 2005
I think most people got the hint when we sent out the Subliminal Advertising funny on Tuesday. I thought it was a funny way to ask for donations. I hope you appreciated it as much as I did. Anyway, I wanted to send this out to make it official.

About once every six months or so, we humbly ask for a small donation to keep things running here at GCFL central.

Wait! Before you run off to unsubscribe from the list saying, "I thought they said this thing was free!!!" let me reassure you: GCFL IS, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN FREE! There is no obligation to pay for GCFL mailings. I believe if we can't afford to run GCFL for free, we will just end it and move on.

However, it's always been my position that instead of peppering the mailings with advertisements every day, I prefer to just ask for a small donation. I don't want ads in GCFL mailings. Period. I've always felt that if we do a good job, some people will be willing to donate a dollar or two every six months, and if we keep our costs down, it will be enough. I think I would send a dollar if it were the other way around! (But maybe I'm slightly biased.) :-)
We've been emailing good, clean funnies since 1998, and GCFL members have always come through wonderfully, giving when they can. I've always been encouraged by just how generous GCFL members are, and I'm honored that it has been so successful. I never dreamed that GCFL would have grown as it has.

We receive emails and letters nearly every day from members saying how much they enjoy GCFL, and how it helps them start their day. It seems people from 12 to 91 enjoy our funnies, and we sure enjoy making GCFL what it is.

Yes, I admit that we still have a lot of work to do. I have many plans for GCFL, and with God's blessing, we will make the plans come true.

We ask for only one dollar because we feel it's not too much to ask, and just about everyone should be able to handle it. However, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it! We'll continue the best we can.

So, if you feel so inclined, please send your donation to:

GCFL
Box 100
Harvest, AL 35749
USA

Send a dollar bill (or two) (yes, it's OK to send cash in the mail for this purpose), or if you want to, write checks to "GCFL." You can also use PayPal (www.paypal.com) if you prefer. Please use email address gcfl@gcfl.net. Remember PayPal charges 2.9% + 30 cents for each transaction, so maybe you PayPal people can send $1.33 to cover that cost? It's your call.

Because of the small amount of money we are dealing with, banks don't even want to talk to us about converting non-US money. As a result, I prefer not to deal with it. However, if you really want to send some, we'll take it.

Thanks for helping us keep GCFL alive and kicking!

John Price
GCFL Director
-=+=-
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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How many of these questions can you answer? Are you really THAT observant? You sure????

The average person only gets 7 right. This is based on U.S. & CDN info, so use all lobes of your brain.

This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see! There are 27 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right?

These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life. Put your thinking caps on.

No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! Can you beat 20?? (The average Is 7) Write down your answers and then check your answers (on the bottom) only AFTER completing all the questions.
REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! --- BE HONEST!!!

That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.

Here we go!


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. What is on the back of a Canadian dime?
16. How many sides does a stop sign have?
17. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
18. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
19. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
20. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
21. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
22. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
23. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
24. On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?
25. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
26. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
27. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

ANSWERS

1. Bottom
2. 50
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, & gold
5. 1, 0
6. Right
7. 20
8. Red
9. 88
10. Clockwise (north of the equator)
11. Towards bottom right
12. 12 (no #1)
13. Left
14. Clockwise as you look at it
15. The Bluenose
16. 8
17. Left
18. 5
19. 6
20. Bashful
21. 8
22. Ace of spades
23. Left
24. Loon
25. * , #
26. 3
27. Counter
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SMILEAWHILE [Shipwrecked]
"Roy D. Knight"

A guy get`s shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he`s on a beach. The sand is purple. He can`t believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He`s shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple too. "Oh no!!" he says, "I think I`ve been marooned!!"

~~~Other Random Thoughts~~~
They tried to persuade J. Paul Getty to open an Italian restaurant. They had a name picked out for it, too: "Spa Getty." submitted by: Chaplain (LTC) Michael T. Bradfield, Arlington, VA
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SMILEAWHILE [New to Church]

Having just moved to town, a woman decided that the first Sunday, she'd visit the church nearest to her new apartment.

She found herself in a pretty sanctuary, and as the service began, she enjoyed the music offered by the choir.

But then the sermon began, and went on and on and on. In fact, it seemed interminable, and not at all interesting. Surreptitiously glancing around, she noticed that many in the congregation were nodding off, and not even trying to stay awake.

Finally it was over, though, and people stood up for the final hymn.

After the service, to be social, she turned to the still sleepy looking gentleman next to her, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one, ma'am! I'm really glad too!"
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SMILEAWHILE [Lightning]

A SMILEAWHILE of a different sort. I call it a "smile of comfort."

LIGHTNING

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school, and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school.

As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly, each with the little girl stopping, looking at the streak of light and smiling.

Finally, the mother called her over to the car and asked "What are you doing?" The child answered, "God just keeps taking pictures of me"

"And a little child shall lead them...." Lord, help me to trust You as much as this little one, especially when the storms of life crash around me.
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Coping With Job Stress
"Terry Neal"
At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you.

When you have had one of those 'Take This Job And Shove It' days, try this:

On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip". Be sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.

Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer, remove the thermometer, and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that says "every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is PERSONALLY tested.

Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip company."
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GCF: Medical Text Humor
"Thomas S. Ellsworth"

Found posted in a humor news group (rec.humor.funny) -Tom Submitted there by Susie Cleland (susie-cleland@hotmail.com)
-----------------------------------------
Doctors and veterinarians aren't born knowing all those fifty-dollar-words they use; there are whole books devoted to medical terminology. Most of it is dry, staid lists of words and definitions, but every now and then, a bit of the authors' personality shows through.

In "Bailliere's Comprehensive Veterinary Dictionary" by D.C. Blood and Virginia Studdert, the following entry appears on page 133, right between Brunner's Glands and Brush Border:

"Brunus Edwardii: the urban, companion animal bear, much admired for its low food requirements and excellent house training, a high emotional output and complete freedom from disease. Called also Ursus Theodorus (USA) and Pooh, Paddington or Brideshead Bear (UK)."

(I could add that they may be free from disease, but they do seem to be susceptible to lacerations requiring surgical repair...)
\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / How come SUPERMAN could stop \ /
\ -/bullets with his chest, but always \- /
/ /ducked when someone threw a gun at him?\
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GCF: Corporate Images
Found posted in a humor news group (rec.humor.funny) -Tom Submitted there by Andrew (pengu03@ibm.net)
-----------------------------------
Ever notice a theme in company names?

If it's a single somewhat aristocratic sounding name such as "Bogglesworth of London, Est. 1793", they're most likely a tea, coffee, or wine importer.

If it's two names, such as Gilchrist & Soames or Avalon & Gray, they seem to deal with soap, skin care, or clothing products.

If it's three names, it's an insurance firm or small law firm.

If it's four names, it's an upper tier law firm.

If it's five names, it's a small law firm that's merged with a soap company.
\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / The journey of a thousand miles \ /
\ -/ begins with a broken fan belt \- /
/ / or a leaky tire. \ ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Cakes and Ale
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Herman) -Tom
----------------------------------
Here is a purported to be true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / Veni, Vedi, Velcro \ /
\ -/ (I came, I saw, I stuck to it) \- /
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GCF: Elementary School Teacher Quiz
Emailed to me from another humor list (HAND) -Tom
To subscribe to (H)ave (A) (N)ice (D)ay, send an email to:
majordomo@bapp.com in body of MESSAGE type: subscribe HAND
---------------------------------

Are You A TRUE Elementary School Teacher? Let's Find Out:

1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home?

2. Do you move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table?

3. Do you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends?

4. Do you hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes?

5. Do you refer to happy hour as "snack time"?

6. Do you declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line?

7. Do you say "I like the way you did that" to the mechanic who repairs your car nice?

8. Do you ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction?

9. Do you sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book?

10. Do you say everything twice? I mean, do you repeat everything?

11. Do you fold your spouse's fingers over the coins as you hand him/her the money at a tollbooth?

12. Do you ask a quiet person at a party if he has something to share with the group?
~~~
* If you answered yes to 4 or more, it's in your soul -- you are hooked on teaching. And if you're not a teacher, you missed your calling.

* If you answered yes to 8 or more, well, maybe it's *too much* in your soul -- you should probably begin thinking about retirement.

* If you answered yes to all 12, forget it -- you'll *always* be a teacher, retired or not!
\\\\ \-/ / Lecture: The art of \ \-/ ////
\ / transferring information from \ /
\ -/ the notes of the lecturer to the \- /
/ /notes of the students without passing \ through the minds of either.
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GCF: Exasperation <>
Emailed to me from another humor list (TheFunnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank message to: andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com
------------------------------------

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.

Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
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\ / It's a shame that \ /
\ -/ stupidity isn't painful! \- /
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GCF: Snowed In
Emailed to me from another humor list (PixDaily) -Tom To subscribe to PixDaily, send a blank message to: PixDaily-subscribe@onelist.com
------------------------------------

(Ed: Being of Norwegian stock, I just can't pass up a good Ole and Lena joke. -Tom)

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK."

Two days later, again they are both sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK."

Three days later, they both are once again sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?"
Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, yust leave the car in the garage."
\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////
\ / "They laughed at Joan of Arc, \ /
\ -/ but she went right ahead \- /
/ / and built it." \ - Gracie Allen
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wallenbrock pzm on ebay
"Claiborne Sharp Jr."

Recently on Ebay there has been placed up for auction one of the prototype PZM microphones. All of the historians in the group have been recounting their first experiences with the mic. The following was included in a mic box.
Claiborne

After looking up the schematics I found this at the back of the PZMemo folder in the file.

A RECIPE FOR A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON

Ingredients:

1 quart Thankfulness (for your participatipation in PZMs)
1 cup Excitement (about the future and coming developments)
6 ozs. Affection (for all of you who are exploring the new microphony)
pinch Happy Reflections (on the accomplishments of 1979)
1 cup Appreciation (for your patience and kindness in working with us to develop and use PZMs)
dash High Spirits (which come as we meet and communicate with you by phone or in person)
6 ozs. Joy (of new friendships around the world through Syn-Aud-Con and PZMs)
2 quarts Thankfulness more (for this beautiful, God-given world peopled with kind, cooperative, thoughtful, concerned, innovative, and communitive friends)

Directions:

Combine first seven ingredients in a large punch bowl and mix well. Add last ingredient and heat with the warmth of friendship. Drink deeply and freely during the holidays. Conserve any leftovers and use to uplift the spirits throughout the coaming year.

Yield,

A meaningful yuletide and an exciting new year!

>From the kitchen of: Ken Wahrenbrock, Sandie Wahrenbrock - Wahrenbrock Sound Associates
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[GCFL] Full Cup & For Sale

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day.

Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge's yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk's pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

"Oh, there's not much to it," admitted the clerk happily, "I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office."
-=+=-
[GCFL] Rich Man

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Received from Joke du Jour.
-=+=-
[GCFL] Lucky Cat

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.

The collector says "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Received from MIKE/CANDY BERTAINA.
-=+=-
[GCFL] I Don't Wanna

I Don't Wanna

I don't wanna do the dishes
I don't wanna do the wash
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!!

I don't wanna rattle pots
I don't wanna rattle pans
I see the mail light flashin'
I wanna chat with friends!!

Oh the tables need some dustin'
and the floor could sure be mopped
But I know if I get started
there'll be no place to stop

The closets are so full
things are falling off the shelves
I wish for cleaning fairies
and magic little elves.

They could sprinkle fairy dust
and twitch their little nose
The windows would be sparkling
I would have no dirty clothes
Oh I know that I'm just dreamin'
My head is in the sky
I must cook that meat that's greying
and bake that apple pie

The Hubby needs a bath
Doggy needs attention
Oh.. the other way around I mean
my brain is in suspension

I am runnin' round in circles
I am gettin' nothin' done,
I keep thinking of my web
I am missing all the fun!!!

Well I know I'm not addicted
though I hear that all the time
But I guess this stuff can wait on me
Cause Today I'll Be On Line!!!

~~Author Unknown~~

Received from Scott Neville.
-=+=-
[GCFL] Taters

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one---a real SWEET POTATO whom they called "YAM".

They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, and then end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

She said not to worry------no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped.

She told them she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say Frito Lay.
Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to "Idaho P.U" - that's Potato University - where the Big Potatoes come from and when she graduated, she'd really be in the Chips.

But one day she came home and said she was going to marry Dan Rather. Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and said she couldn't marry him because he's just a .... COMMON TATER!!!

Received from Michael Whalan.
-=+=-
A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front.

After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing.

"Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, "HORSE for sale."

Both received from Best of Humor.
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Word to think about
"ckwatson"

Did you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?"
"I'm four and a half."
You're never 36 and a half ....you're four and a half going on 5.

You get into your teens; now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16." You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16. Eventually.

Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21 .... Yes!!

Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. What's wrong? What changed?
You BECOME 21;
you TURN 30.

Then you're PUSHING 40....stay over there.
You REACH 50.
You BECOME 21; you TURN 30; You're PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60.

By then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70. After that, it's a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday...

You get into your 80's; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My Grandmother won't even buy green bananas. "Well, it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one."

Into the 90's, you start going backwards. "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."

All I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: Look. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nations to always put things back where found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is better to hold hands and stick together.
By Robert Fulghum
from Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
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Some one to talk to
Dick Waller

SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!!!!!
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241."
"That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!" Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" To which the lady answers, "144."
"That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51."
Albert responds, "How 'bout them Cowboys?"
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Subject: Life Truths
From: "Loumu"

Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn
(by Dave Barry)

1. You will never find anybody who can give you clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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Subject: YANKEE WARNINGS
From: Dick Waller

All good Southerners already know this, but in fairness to those Yankees (northerners visiting the South) or DangYankees (northerners who visit the South and stay) who may venture South this year there are some things you need to know. (Southerner's, who may have Yankees visiting, please pass this along.)

1) Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray,Tammy Ann, Mari Beth and Inez have all been known to whip a man for less than that.

2) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda, this can lead to a merciless beating. Down south it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

3) Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All the others are a bunch of kids who get to play Wyoming every week.

4) Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g. Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgement from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!

5) We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your gripping, spend your money and leave.

6) Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for *Criminey's* sake don't put sugar in your grits.

7) Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will insight a riot faster.

8) Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee self back home.

9) We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy northern games, so don't ask about the scores. We simply don't care.

10) We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing Jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.

11) Last, but by no means, least ... DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. You're lucky that we let you come down here in the first place, don't push your luck!
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Crosswalk - You Make Me Laugh: - - Kid Say

The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured rhetorical comments from my children's discussions. No Pulitzer Prize could ever hold a candle to the notes jotted in this little book in my kitchen.

* "I wonder if the tooth fairy is a boy or a girl."

* "Mom, what is it like being a grown up? Do you like buying everything you want and giving the kids nothing."

* "Mom, what name did you have when you were a kid?"

* "I wish I had a birthday everyday."

* "If alcohol and cigarettes are bad for you then why did somebody invent them?"

* "Mom, are the friends you had as a kid still alive?"

* "The cat went to the vegetarian to be neutered." "What's neutered?" "It means he'll come back a girl."

* "What is a pilgrim?" "That's the ones who don't know how to plant corn."

* "Who picked the very first king and queen there ever was?"

* "Mom, when you die, can I be a mom?"

* "I can't swallow anything in my neck because my clams are swollen."

* "Mom, is there only one man in the world for me? How many are there? About 30 in each country?"
* "Does God have a nose?"

* "Mom, you're the best mom I ever had."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Busted

He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family just before church ... so they were running late getting into town ... and he was speeding.

Then to top it off, he looked in the review mirror only to see the lights of the Highway Patrol ........... busted! Already late for church and figuring he'd try for leniency, he quickly slapped his Bible on the dash of his car as the trooper walked up to the window and asked to see his drivers license.

Looking at his name and title on the license, the trooper asked, "You're a Reverend huh?" The young Pastor affirmed that.

The trooper then began writing out a speeding ticket and said, "Well Reverend; your speedometer runneth over."

As the trooper handed him the ticket and started to walk away, his last comment was, "Oh, by the way .... the Bible on the dash .... nice touch."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Nabbed

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act.

He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front, near the cash registers, when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away.

After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

"Everything's fine, Folks," he reassured them.

"This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than nine items."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Interactive Weather

Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain.

The TV weatherman, on his computerized map, was pointing out a thunderstorm 50 miles away. He placed his cursor over the region and clicked to zoom in on the storm.

Watching, my son Roger shook his head and said, "I sure wish he would click on that storm and drag it over here."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

*Eye Laugh*

"Slam Dunk"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw561

"Rats and Dogs"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw596

"Farmer Jenkins On The Wagon"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw594

"School Memories"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw599

Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/haplesssurfersguide.html - - Hapless Surfer's Guide To Privacy Policies "Do you cringe at the very sight of yet another bewildering privacy policy? I offer, as a public service, my extremely unofficial guide to privacy policies..."
Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Project Gutenberg - - http://www.gutenberg.net/ - - Project Gutenberg is the oldest producer of free electronic books (eBooks or etexts) on the Internet. This collection of more than 13.000 eBooks was produced by hundreds of volunteers. Most of the Project Gutenberg eBooks are older literary works that are in the public domain in the United States. All may be freely downloaded and read, and redistributed for non-commercial use.
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"Could the same actions that help prevent a heart attack or stroke also prevent or slow the memory loss, confusion and thinking problems of dementia? A new study suggests that for many people, the answer could be yes. And for some, the impact of steps like controlling blood pressure and cholesterol might be greater than the effect of high-priced memory-preserving drugs. In the December 15 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers from the University of Michigan Health System, the VA Ann Arbor Healthcare System and the Group Health Cooperative Center for Health Studies in Seattle present a comprehensive review of what's known -- and what's not -- about a condition called mixed dementia. Mixed dementia is a combination of Alzheimer's disease and vascular dementia, caused in part by problems with blood flow in the brain. It may affect as many as 20 percent of the 6.8 million Americans with dementia. It is particularly common in older patients, who often have memory problems due to several conditions at once. Doctors now think that many people with symptoms attributed solely to Alzheimer's - memory loss, confusion, wandering, trouble following instructions - may in fact have mixed dementia."
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State Health Facts - - http://www.statehealthfacts.kff.org/ - - The Kaiser Family Foundation's State Health Facts Online includes the latest available data on prescription drug use and spending for all 50 states and the U.S. The new 2003 data include the number of retail prescriptions filled, retail prescriptions filled per capita, the average price of prescriptions, and total spending on retail prescriptions for each state. The percent change from 2002 to 2003 for these indicators is also included. State Health Facts Online is a free resource that provides quick access to these topics and others, totaling nearly 400 indicators covering state-level and U.S. data on health, health care, and health policy.
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HomeworkSpot.com - - http://www.homeworkspot.com/ - - HomeworkSpot.com is a free homework information portal that features the very best K-12 homework-related sites together with engaging editorial in one high-utility, educational spot. With the help of students, parents and teachers, our team of educators, librarians and journalists has scoured the Web to bring you the best resources for English, math, science, history, art, music, technology, foreign language, college prep, health, life skills, extracurricular activities and much more.
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"A brain chemical that stokes hunger for food and fat also triggers thirst for alcohol and may play a role in chronic drinking, according to a study led by Princeton University scientists. The study showed that rats injected with galanin, a natural signaling agent in the brain, chose to drink increasing quantities of alcohol even while consuming normal amounts of food and water. The finding helps explain one of the mechanisms involved in alcohol dependence and strengthens scientists' understanding of the neurological link between the desires for alcohol and food. 'There seems to be a cycle of positive feedback,' said Bartley Hoebel, co-author of a paper appearing in the December issue of Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research. 'Consumption of alcohol produces galanin, and galanin promotes the consumption of alcohol. That would perpetuate the behavior.' "
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CensusScope - - http://www.censusscope.org/ - - CensusScope is an easy-to-use tool for investigating U.S. demographic trends, brought to you by the Social Science Data Analysis Network at the University of Michigan. With eye-catching graphics and exportable trend data, CensusScope is designed for both generalists and specialists.
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"For centuries, people who've felt sick or stressed have tried drinking chamomile tea as a medicinal cure-all. Now, researchers in England have found new evidence that the popular herbal tea may actually help relieve a wide range of health ailments, including colds and menstrual cramps. Their study is scheduled to appear in the Jan. 26, 2005 issue of the American Chemical Society's Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, one of the Societyís peer-reviewed journals. ACS is the worldís largest scientific society. 'This is one of a growing number of studies that provide evidence that commonly used natural products really do contain chemicals that may be of medicinal value,' says study leader Elaine Holmes, Ph.D., a chemist with Imperial College London. 'The healthcare industry is placing increasing emphasis on functional foods including natural remedies, yet little work has been conducted on the long term effects of such products on human biology.' "
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Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2005 - - http://www.healthierus.gov/dietaryguidelines/ - - Dietary Guidelines for Americans is published jointly every 5 years by the Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Agriculture. The Guidelines provide authoritative advice for people two years and older about how good dietary habits can promote health and reduce risk for major chronic diseases. NOTE: Please note that documents in PDF format require Adobe's Acrobat Reader. HTML of these documents will be forthcoming.
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"Craig Sowash, a 43-year-old sales manager with a pulp and paper company, says he feels more confident with customers ever since he had the wrinkles on his face smoothed out with a few injections. And if he ever needs a little surgery at some point to produce permanent results, he says, 'I won't be shy about pulling the trigger.' Competition for corporate jobs among aging baby boomers, along with quicker, cheaper and less invasive techniques, and greater attention to grooming among men are helping drive an increase in cosmetic procedures among the male of the species. Botox injections, which won Food and Drug Administration approval for wrinkle-reducing in 2002 but had already come into fairly widespread use by the end of the 1990s, were the most popular cosmetic procedure for both men and women in 2003, with nearly 334,000 procedures for men and 2.56 million for women, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Botox treatments typically cost about $200 to $400. Traditional plastic surgery rose about 10 percent among men and 14 percent among women from 2002 to 2003, according to society figures. Nose jobs were the most popular surgical procedure among men, followed by eyelid surgery and liposuction. Doctors say they are seeing more and more men trying to take years off their looks."
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Languages - - http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/ - - This BBC site provides resources to help you learn Spanish, French, German, Italian, and other languages through online lessons. You can also learn holiday phrases in 34 languages and more.
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Home Energy Saver - - http://hes.lbl.gov/ - - The Home Energy Saver calculates how much energy your home uses. It then offers recommendations on how to decrease that amount. The first web-based do-it-yourself energy audit tool. Start saving energy in your home today!
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"The philanthropic organization established by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and his wife is giving nearly $11 million to public libraries in 37 states and the District of Columbia to buy computers and software and pay for faster Internet connections. The cash grants from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, expected to be announced Thursday, were being matched partially with other money from state and federal sources. The grants were intended to ensure that public libraries, frequently squeezed by tight budgets, can continue offering patrons free access to technology. As many as 14 million Americans use the Internet at public libraries, including a disproportionately high number of blacks, Indians and Hispanics, according to U.S. government figures. Use of computers at libraries is especially pronounced in poor neighborhoods."
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"The total number of tornadoes reported in the United States reached a record high during the year 2004, surpassing the previous record by almost 300, according to officials at the NOAA Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Okla. The findings are based on a preliminary review of reports filed by NOAA National Weather Service forecast offices and compared to historical records dating back to 1950. 'One tropical storm and five hurricanes affecting areas from Florida to the mid-Atlantic states, as well as several outbreaks in four of the last ten days in May contributed to the year's total number of 1,717 tornado reports in the U.S.,' said Dan McCarthy, NOAA Storm Prediction Center warning coordination meteorologist. This tops the previous record of 1,424 tornadoes in 1998, and the total of 1,368 in 2003. Joe Schaefer, director of the NOAA Storm Prediction Center said, 'Even with the record number of tornadoes, storm related fatalities were limited to 35. This shows that timely watches and warnings combined with our strong partnerships with emergency management and the media to convey that information does save lives.' The reported number of 35 deaths attributed to tornadoes is significantly below the usual yearly average for these storm-related fatalities. Every year, an average of 1,200 tornadoes kill about 55 Americans, injure 1,500 people and cause more than $400 million in damage. Considered nature's most violent storms, tornadoes can occur any month of the year with peak activity from the months of March through July."
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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He can use us

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you just remember:

Noah was a drunk,
Abraham was too old,
Isaac was a daydreamer,
Jacob was a liar,
Leah was ugly,
Joseph was abused,
Moses had a stuttering problem,
Gideon was afraid,
Samson was a womanizer,
Rahab was a prostitute,
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young,
David had an affair and was a murderer,
Elijah was suicidal,
Isaiah preached naked,
Jonah ran from God,
Naomi was a widow,
John the Baptist ate bugs,
Peter denied Christ,
The Disciples fell asleep while praying,
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once,
Zaccheus was too small,
Paul was too religious,
Timothy had an ulcer...AND
Lazarus was dead!.. .no more excuses now. God can use you to
your full potential!

Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
Share this with a friend or two, in the Circle of God's love,

God's waiting to use your full potential.
1. God wants spiritual fruit--not religious nuts.
2. Dear God, I have a problem--it's me.
3. Growing old is inevitable...growing UP is optional.
4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.
6. Do the math .. count your blessings.
7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
8. Laugh every day; it's like inner jogging.
9. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
12. The most important things in your house are the people.
13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

Thanks to David & Martha Godwin
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I've seen this example before, but it's worth another read. Enjoy.

THE MAYONNAISE JAR

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar..and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your beliefs, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
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HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS DATABASE
New Information Service Provides Information On Health and Safety of Everyday Products

BETHESDA, MARYLAND -- The National Institutes of Health today unveiled a consumer's guide that provides easy-to- understand information on the potential health effects of more than 2,000 ingredients contained in more than 4,000 common household products.

Some household products contain substances that can pose health risks if they are ingested or inhaled, or if they come in contact with eyes and skin. The National Library of Medicine's (NLM) Household Products Database (http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov) provides information in consumer friendly language on many of these substances and their potential health effects. For more technical information users can launch a search for a product or ingredient in TOXNET from the Product Page in the database.

Information in the database is provided to NLM under a collaborative agreement and is derived from publicly available sources, including brand-specific labels and information provided by manufacturers and their Web sites. The list of products covered will be expanded, and information for products currently in the database will be updated at least annually.

"The Household Products Database is a natural outgrowth of the work that the Library has done in recent years, educating the public about environmental risks posed by chemicals in the air, soil and water," explained NLM Director Dr. Donald A.B. Lindberg. "Last year, we unveiled Tox Town (http://toxtown.nlm.nih.gov), a site that introduces consumers to the toxic chemicals and environmental risks they might encounter in everyday life, in everyday places. Tox Town looks at facilities like schools, office buildings and factories, and the chemicals likely to be in them. With the Household Products site, we go inside the user's home and provide information about common products and their potential health effects."

The Household Products Database enables users to learn what's in the products under the kitchen sink, in the garage, in the bathroom, and on the laundry room shelf. It is designed to help answer questions such as:

-- What chemicals are contained in specific brands and in what percentage?

-- Which products contain specified chemicals?

-- Who manufactures a specific brand? How can I contact the manufacturer?

-- What are the potential health effects of the chemical ingredients in a specific brand?

-- What other information is available about such chemicals in the toxicology-related databases of the National Library of Medicine?

For example, a homeowner trying to decide which algae- killing product to use in her swimming pool could select the "Landscape/Yard/Swimming Pool" category in Household Products and click on "algaecide." She then could choose several brands to examine for chemical content and possible health hazards.

The record for each product would show her the ingredients from something called the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS). Designed to provide workers and emergency personnel with the proper procedures for handling or working with a particular substance, these sheets are produced by the manufacturer of the product as required by Federal law.

NLM Associate Director for Specialized Information Services, Dr. Jack Snyder, said, "NLM has provided an important set of databases for toxicologists and other scientists for many years. The target audience of the Household Products Database, however, is both scientists and the general public. The database allows users to browse a product category, such as 'Pesticides' or 'Personal Care,' by alphabetical listing or by brand name. Products can also be searched by type, manufacturer, product ingredient, or chemical name.

Located in Bethesda, Maryland, the National Library of Medicine, the world's largest library of the health sciences, is a component of the National Institutes of Health, Department of Health and Human Services.
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It Used to Be TV, Now It's Alphabet Soup

Friday January 14, 12:56 PM EST

By Ben Berkowitz

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Want a big-screen television set before this year's Super Bowl? Better figure out if you want LCD, DLP, PDP or CRT, and if you want your picture to be HD, ED or plain old SD.

Confused? Of course. Buying a television is quickly becoming one of the most confounding decisions in all of home entertainment.

The explosion of new television formats is creating a sales boom for the electronics industry -- even if consumers don't always know what they are buying. Digital television sales will jump to 10.77 million units in 2005 from 6.97 million in 2004, the Consumer Electronics Association forecasts.
"The consumer is being kind of lulled into the digital television world by the look and feel of these very lightweight flat panel TVs," said Rosemary Abowd, director of flat-panel display research at Pacific Media Associates.

Scores of the shiny new products were on display at the recent Consumer Electronics Show, as companies showed off the latest and greatest in TV technology, including the ultimate in concept models, a 102-inch set from Samsung.

For the average consumer, Samsung's jumbotron-for-the-living room might be a big reach financially, since it is expected to sell for about the price of a new car. For most consumers, big-screen dreams are probably more in the 40- to 50-inch category, where prices are falling to $2,000 or less for entry-level models.

But it's not just the big-screen televisions that are fighting for consumers' attention. A plethora of new digital services are vying to be the ones to deliver programing for the new TV sets, including extra packages for digital cable or satellite services, and even digital channels broadcast over the air by local stations.

Some worry that the complicated offerings will be enough of a turn-off that consumers will decide not to buy, or to delay their purchases -- something the industry can ill afford, given that it is banking on relatively strong growth for the next few years.

"My reaction generally is: who's going to put themselves through this?" Abowd said. "Yes the prices are coming down and that's attractive but the components that feed the displays are still very complicated."

To help sort through the maize of new toys and tools, a few definitions are in order.:

-- HDTV, or high-definition television, is digital television in a wide-screen display (a 16-by-9 ratio) with a resolution of at least 720 progressively-scanned lines or 1,080 interlaced lines. (Progressive scanning puts all the lines of a picture on the TV one after the other, while interlaced scanning does all the odd lines first and then goes back for the evens).

-- EDTV/SDTV. Lower down the digital picture quality scale is enhanced-definition television (EDTV) and lower still is standard-definition television (SDTV).

-- An HDTV monitor is a television that can display HD with the addition of a separate device to tune the digital signals.

-- An integrated HDTV has the tuner built in to the set.

-- A High-Definition Multimedia Interface, most often called HDMI, connects an HD tuner to an HDTV monitor. It is a successor to the older Digital Visual Interface, or DVI, and cables exist to adapt DVI to HDMI.

Then of course there are the different types of HDTVs.

-- Cathode ray tubes, or CRTs, are the most bulky and the least expensive HDTVs. Technologically similar to regular old TV sets, they can weigh close to 150 pounds with a large footprint.

-- Plasma televisions, sometimes referred to as PDPs, are bright, have large viewing angles, scale easily to sizes 60 inches and above, and are thin enough to hang on walls.

-- LCDs, or liquid crystal displays, are bright with high resolutions, though they have traditionally been smaller than plasma screens and suffered from some blurring during high-speed motion like sporting events.

-- DLP, or digital light projection, sets use very small mirrors to reflect light and are relatively thin and low-weight in the vein of plasma sets. They are also renowned for their brightness though are said to suffer some in dark rooms.

All of these technologies are improving rapidly, and technical deficiencies that have cropped up with each are starting to disappear.

So the $64,000 question is -- is it going to cost $64,000 to get a big-screen HDTV? Not hardly.

Assuming the buyer wants a screen of at least 40 inches and is willing to pay for a separate tuner, the online stores of major retailers offer CRT HD sets from $1,000, DLP sets from $2,500, LCD sets from $2,650, and plasmas from $3,800.

Brand choice is an issue too -- Sony Corp. (6758) is pushing LCD displays, while Matsushita's (6991) Panasonic brand is firmly in the plasma camp and companies like Samsung Corp. (000830) and Thomson (TMS) have stood back to push a wide range of styles.

"There's still a whole lot to this digital television revolution beyond the sexy flat panel television," Abowd said.

©2004 Reuters Limited.
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Hello,

We now have the preliminary url's for the online spotter training. One is for IE and the other is for Netscape/Mozilla. Please go through the course and the test and let me know what you think. Your suggestions will be of great value to those that go through the program.

You first go through the presentation, then take the test, then enter you information, and finally print a certificate of completion. An e-mail will be sent to us automatically with your name, address, phone number, etc. that we put into the database.

If you want to see a particular section covered more in depth for example let me know. Are the test questions appropriate? There is no video as we are not allowed to use streaming video through our website. Also, this will be a supplement to our live classes so folks can be a part of Skywarn that could not attend a class or if someone wants a refresher in between the actual classes.

http://www.srh.noaa.gov/shv/spotternetscape.htm

http://www.srh.noaa.gov/shv/spotter2004ie.htm

Let me know your thoughts by January 25th.

Thanks,
Mark Frazier
NWS Shreveport
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SEND THE PHILADELPHIA CHRISTIANS A THANK YOU LETTER OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Four Christians in Philadelphia, PA, are facing 47 years in prison and fines up to $90,000 each. Their crime? They were reading from the Bible and sharing the Gospel on a public sidewalk. They stood up to protect their rights—and ours—and now they are being punished for exercising those rights.

They were charged with eight crimes, including three felonies: possession of instruments of crime (a bullhorn), ethnic intimidation (saying that homosexuality is a sin), and inciting a riot (reading from the Bible some passages relating to homosexuality) despite the fact that no riot occurred.

This is an example of pro-homosexual officials using the law to silence Christians who speak the truth about homosexuality. The American Family Association Center for Law and Policy has agreed to represent the Philadelphia 4 at no cost. In addition, we are encouraging Christians nationwide to send the Philadelphia 4 a "Thank You" letter of encouragement. They need to know they are appreciated and aren’t standing alone. The letter reads:

Just a note to say thanks for taking a stand to protect your First Amendment rights—and mine.

There are, no doubt, some difficult days ahead. I will be praying for you. Your actions will encourage many, many others to take a bold stand in this battle.
Click [http://www.onemilliondads.com/SignPetition.asp?id=11] to send your thank you letter of encouragement. We will compile the list and present it to the Philadelphia 4 in person.

Ask members in your church to go on line and sign the thank you letter. They can sign the letter by visiting www.afa.net, top center of the page. Pastors need to encourage every member to email the thank you letter. Put the email address in your church bulletins and newsletters.
There is so much more about this case I don’t have room to put in this letter. We have prepared a 25-minute VHS/DVD in which two AFA-CLP attorneys discuss the case in detail.

When we made the VHS/DVD available last week, so many people tried to order it that our system quit working. We have corrected that problem.

If possible, please help AFA with our expenses in representing these committed Christians. With your tax-deductible gift of $15 or more, we will send your choice of either the VHS or DVD. Watch the VHS/DVD, then share it with your Sunday School class and church. Every Christian in America should see and hear the information on this VHS/DVD. What has happened is a travesty of justice.

Click [https://store.afa.net/ProductCart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idproduct=27] to get your copy of The Philadelphia 4 Story.

Thanks for caring enough to get involved. Please help get the word out by forwarding this to a friend.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Chairman
OneMillionDads.com

P.S. If you don't want to order The Philadelphia 4 Story but simply want to make a donation, Click [http://www.afa.net/donate.asp?did=5042].
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Exercise 101: With a Little Help from the Pros
by Jenette Restivo

We've heard it before: exercise equals good health. More than alcohol or even cigarettes, we know that obesity takes a toll on our health. Study after study finds tireless reasons why exercise is critical for our health and well-being. So, then, what's the problem? Why are we plopping down on the couch after work rather than hitting the gym?

Motivation, time, convenience, access, responsibilities, or maybe just not knowing how to start. Maybe it's been a while since you propelled yourself into exercise. Chances are, if you still have those Jane Fonda-era leotards and leg warmers in the drawer, it's been a bit too long.

There are endless reasons to avoid working out. But keep in mind that there are just as many ways to debunk the endless exercise excuses. I spoke with four fitness pros who can help you get started and check those excuses in at the door.

Step 1: Get Real

Before you start any exercise program, the essential first step you should take is to come up with a realistic goal. There are two parts to developing your goal, says Martha Coopersmith, a personal trainer and owner of the Bodysmith Company, a personal training firm in New York City. "First is to decide what the goal is- what do you want to accomplish and next decide how you want to accomplish that goal," says Coopersmith. There are a few things to keep in mind when deciding on the "what." For one, start with smaller, attainable goals. Set a goal of perhaps losing 5 pounds in one month, rather than 20 pounds in two. When you reach that, make it harder next time. If you missed the goal, and hey it happens, give it another try.

Besides keeping it small, another crucial component to your fitness goal is keeping it real. Dr. Paul Kennedy, Vice President of the Fitness Program at Bally Total Fitness, explains that short-term goals are best when they are realistic and challenging. "If they're too easy," he says, "you're not going to see results and you'll abandon exercise thinking it's not worth your time."

Kennedy adds that making such an investment in a well-thought-out goal will help ensure fitness success. "Why do we see failed programs? Because the person took on far too much and burned out, or injured themselves—their body wasn't ready for this level yet, or else they took on far too little and got discouraged," he says.

So pick a regimen and intensity level that is attainable and you're more likely to achieve your goal. And remember, as Kennedy says, "there is no such thing as a bad exercise, just a bad approach. If it's done at a moderate level, every exercise is a good exercise."

Step 2: Check in with Your Doc

You might not think that the same primary care physician who treats your kid's ear infection can be much help in designing your fitness routine. But you'd be surprised. Your doctor can make some valuable recommendations on the level of exercise your body is ready for. In addition, your doctor can ensure that your body is ready for a new exercise routine as well as provide you with some nutritional guidelines to help you reach your goals quicker.

Step 3: Pick a Place

There are so many options when it comes to "where" you should workout. Should you trot off to your local gym and enroll as a new member, invest in a new pair of super gel, shock-free Nikes to hit the pavement outdoors or stock up on the latest videos on the shelf and turn your living room into your own, private studio? Each option has its benefits. But to decide what's right for you, consider what is most likely to motivate you.

Gyms have many advantages, particularly for the first-time exerciser. A gym environment can provide just the right level of motivation many exercisers need to give their routine a boost. Most gyms offer a menu of group exercise classes. Such variety can be helpful at keeping motivation high and stirring up those innate feelings of competition that help many of us achieve our fitness goals. Besides competition and motivation, group exercise, and gyms in general, offers the added advantage of potential friendship. Chances are good that if you find a buddy you'll reach your goals faster. Gyms can also keep your routine varied and challenging by offering classes of higher intensity like speed rope or cycling as well as the latest, most sophisticated equipment. (For more information, see How to Choose the Right Health Club.[http://www.dietwatch.com/dietwatch/diet/DietNews.asp?show=health-club.html])

If you decide that exercising outdoors is where you want to spend your exercise allotment each week, just remember that outdoor exercise can be more challenging and of course it's what Mother Nature permits. But it certainly has its benefits. "You can watch the sun rise or set," says Jyl Steinback, author and lifestyle trainer, and also known as "America's Healthiest Mom. "Find where it's more pleasurable for you- the ocean, a peaceful trail, a mountain. Get a nice setting and make time for it." And of course, it's certainly a more economical option. All you need is a good pair of running shoes.

At-home exercise shares the advantage of cost efficiency. Not only can you save money by choosing to exercise in your own domain, but you can also save time on driving time. And, of course, you can do it with your hair in rollers or in your old pair of shrunken sweats. To make it more economical, stick to videos before investing in pricey equipment. There is certainly not a lack of choice when it comes to exercise videos. "I tell my clients that the best way to choose a video that you like is to go to the video store and rent one for five days. This lets you actually start a new routine every five days," says Steinback.

The best atmosphere for you, of course, is entirely an individual decision. Think about what is most gratifying for you. Do you enjoy spending time outside after being in the office all day, or do you feel more energized around other people who are working out?

Step 4: Pick a Time

Now that you have the "where" settled, the next step is to decide on "when." This isn't as hard as it seems. All you have to do is know yourself. If you're a morning person, by all means, do your workouts in the morning. Research shows that people who workout in the morning are more likely to be working out one year later. This is not because morning exercise is better but because it is more likely to develop into a routine. Naturally, if you can't stop hitting the snooze button at 7am, morning exercise is just not your thing and it's best to switch to a time when you're more likely to feel motivated. If you can do this for at least a month, you're in good shape, literally and figuratively. "Follow an exercise routine for 21 days to make it a habit and for 30 days to make it a lifestyle change," says Steinback.

Finding the time to work out can be tricky, however, especially when life interferes with our goals. The kids get home from day camp just in time for your four o'clock muscle conditioning class. You have to get into the office early this week for a special project instead of meeting with your personal trainer. So, what do you do? Do you just give up on that week? Never. You record your workouts in your organizer and you stick to your appointments. If you absolutely can't, you make the appointment up, say the experts. And you don't give up.

Step 5: Hit the Pavement

We have the "what" "where" and "when" covered. But there's something missing - the "how". How do you launch into a new fitness program? Well, try walking first. That's the next step—literally.

"Walking is the best program for beginners because anybody can do it," says Steinback. "You don't need anything aside from your own body and a pair of tennis shoes. Start slow and then build up. Don't go out and do 20 minutes the first time-start with 3 to 5 minutes, then each time, add another minute." Steinback recommends that beginners engage in a walking program three times a week for the first month.

Step 6: Work in the Weights

Walking will suffice for the aerobics portion of your workout but, equally important is to work in weights. "If your body feels comfortable with the walking routine, then you can gradually start weight training," explains Josh Fink, MD, internist and fitness trainer at Prescription for Fitness in New York.

Working in the weights will likely result in some dramatic improvements as weight training can help sculpt those trouble areas and build muscle tone. And although many middle-aged women are afraid that working with weights will make them bulk up, Fink says that this is unlikely.

Ideally, you should be striving for a routine that combines it all together, incorporating at least one day a week of weights, using sport bands or isometrics (aka- the weight of your body) to start and then 5 lb weights as you get stronger, with three days of aerobic activity such as walking.

Step 7: Evaluate and Experiment

Now that you're off to a great start, you're probably wondering when you should expect to see results. Here's where it gets good. "Exercise is instantaneous," explains Steinback. "You'll notice it the first day mentally. The first week you'll have more energy. The first month, you'll lose a clothing size. In three weeks you'll notice it in your body."

Once you start to see results, continuing along with progress will be your newest challenge. Cross-training is a great way accomplish this. As Steinback explains, all that is meant by cross-training is variation. "It's often the best way to lose the last 10 pounds. Cross-train your body by doing maybe ten minutes on the bike and then ten minutes on the Stairmaster. The variation jolts the body and a dual benefit is that it helps to fight exercise blahs."

So, when do you know it's time to change your routine? "When you get addicted," says Steinback. She advises clients to review their program after thirty days and ask the questions: "Do you like it are you having fun; do you have more energy?" If the answers are "no," add another day, or add more time. If it's still "no," it's time to change your workout.

Step 8: Reward Yourself

As you stick with your program, make progress and see results, it's time to pay yourself back for such dedication. Be sure to reward yourself after you reach each new fitness goal. But pay attention: not with food! A pedicure, manicure, massage, or new clothes are all good choices. This doesn't have to involve money either-perhaps it will be a nice bubble bath. Do this each time you reach a goal—or at the end of each week. But don't wait a month. "That will be too long," says Steinback.

Step 9: Get the Gang Involved

You're two months into your exercise program, feeling great, have more energy, less stress, slimmer hips and a less rotund tummy. Wouldn't it be nice to have your whole family feeling this good? In fact, one of the best ways to manage your routine in the face of a busy family is to include them and make exercise a family affair. "I exercised after my first baby," says Steinback. "I took her with me in the front pack, then the back pack and then the jogging stroller. As my kids grew older, I would roller blade while the kids biked next to me." As family fitness helps you keep up with your fitness goals, exercising with the whole gang also allows you to set a good example. And the studies show this isn't just a mother's instinct. "If the whole family has made fitness a habit, studies show that they are more likely to stick with it," says Steinback.

Step 10: Take It All In

You've worked hard. You've stayed committed. You've stayed on track and now your body loves you for it. The last part is to enjoy the new body and healthy mind you've been building.

But don't forget to keep up the good habits you've picked up for the long-term. DietWatch's exercise journal can help you keep track of your workouts and what you learn on a daily basis. And remember, when you have doubts, don't even give yourself a chance to make excuses. In the words of the all too familiar athletic shoe manufacturer, "just do it"—and have fun!

For more advice and information, see:

* Using Reward Effectively [http://www.dietwatch.com/dietwatch/diet/DietNews.asp?show=reward.html]
* Getting (and Staying) Motivated for Exercise [http://www.dietwatch.com/dietwatch/diet/DietNews.asp?show=exercise-motivation.html]
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[ Tourbus Tsunami Relief Information ]

Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the soggy orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, now available in individually wrapped 1 oz. bars.

Like everyone else around the world, my thoughts and prayers are with the families devastated by the recent tsunami. The news coming out of Asia these past few weeks has been horrific.

Saturday, January 15th, US broadcast television network NBC along with its sister networks USA, Bravo, Trio, SCI FI, PAX, Telemundo, MSNBC and CNBC, will hold a two hour "Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope" telethon. Funds raised during the telethon will support the American Red Cross. For more information, please visit

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Tsunami-Aid:-A-Concert-of-Hope/

or check your local television schedule. The list of people scheduled to appear during the telethon reads like Who's Who of both the musical and political worlds--Madonna, Kenny Chesney, Elton John, Eric Clapton, George Bush [41], Bill Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, George Clooney, etc.--so fire up your Tivos. This will be an event you don't want to miss.

But what if you'd rather make a donation directly to a support agency instead of to an LA radio station or to the NBC telethon? The White House recently posted a fact sheet at

http://tinyurl.com/4z469

that includes a HUGE list of relief agencies around the world that are accepting donations. Newsweek magazine also recently posted a chart showing you which relief agencies do the best job of turning your donations into direct aid:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6808566/site/newsweek/

So long as you choose a reputable relief agency from one of these two lists, you can all but guarantee that your money WILL be going to the relief efforts in Asia. Go off the list, however, and you are taking your chances.

I don't have to tell you that you should NEVER donate money to ANYONE who contacts you via email, right? There is something about disasters that breeds parasites, and fake tsunami charities are popping up all over the world. If you do choose to donate to a charity that is "off the list," so to speak, Interpol [the police agency this time, not the band] recommends that you:

- Ask charity collectors for proof of identity as well as written
permission to collect money in the name of their organization.

- In suspicious cases, note the identity details of the
collector(s) and immediately inform your local police.

- Follow donation advice from your governmental institutions or
national and international charity organizations published in
the press and media and/or contact directly charity
organizations to obtain details on how to make donations.

- Do not respond to requests for unsolicited donations received
by phone, fax or e-mail.

- Avoid buying goods from private sellers, companies through or
via Internet based on their promise of donations from proceeds.

- Avoid sending donations via wire transfer remittances to
accounts outside your country of residence.

[Source: http://tinyurl.com/4lr6f ]

Finally, if you are a US citizen, you can claim a charitable tax deduction on your 2004 tax returns for tsunami disaster relief-related cash donations you make before January 31, 2005. In other words, you can donate money today [2005] and claim the donation on last year's [2004] tax returns. For more information, either visit

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof-blog/2005/01/new-law-allows-.html

or contact your tax advisor. [Oh, and "tax advisor" is *NOT* the same as "fearless bus driver." I leave all questions about tax law and the Infernal Revenue Serpents to the REAL experts.]

[ Tourbus Rider Information ]
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html The Best of
Everything - http://tourbus.com/best.html
Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus
Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
=============================
Patrick Douglas Crispen
crispen@netsquirrel.com
http://www.netsquirrel.com/
AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
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This is a note from Evangelist Sam Austin. Please add him to your prayer list. - DR

Greetings dear ones.

I am writing you to ask extra special prayer. I have been in an accident and quite injured I'm afraid. My brother and I were moving some lumber out of our future retirement home here in AR. I was directing him to back up to a window through which we would load the lumber into the back of his pickup. I was between the pickup and the house. When I gave him the signal to stop due to the fact that we had been feeding cows his feet were very muddy, it has rained and rained here, his feet were very muddy and slipped off of the break and hit the accelerator pinning me to the house with the pickup's tailgate. It was just a foolish accident. I spend the afternoon in the emergency room. The determined that no bones were broken but from my waist to my knees I'm in pretty bad shape. After 2 visits to the physical therapist I am able to now put my full weight on my right leg, but the left one is far from able to bear much weight. I can walk very slowly with the aid of crutches. But that in it's self is painful. I have great difficulty rolling over in bed as well. I am confined to my bed at this time in fact I am composing this email flat of my back and in the bed. There's no reason outside of the grace of God that I am not dead or broken all to pieces in the pelvic area. So with a great deal of thanks giving I am yet suffering. So I need you prayers today perhaps more than usual.

Bobbye is making a great nurse and I'm trying not to be a bad patient. Our daughters Tina and Lori have rotated here to help us out, but Bobbye and I have it now. So please pray for Bobbye as well. I had to cancel last weekend's services I was to preach and I've also had to cancel the meeting that was to start next Sunday in Florida. The next meeting in S. Alabama is in jeopardy as well.

My brother is also very traumatized over being behind the wheel when this happened, he could use your prayers as well.

My ability to connect to email here is spasmodic at best. This the first time I've been able to get online since last Thursday when this happened. So if you email me I may not be able to get it for who knows when. Thank God there's no problem connecting through prayer.

Thanks for your concern and prayers.

Sam and Bobbye
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ARRL Affiliated Club Announcement - Ham-Com 2005 set for June 2-5, 2005 (AR)

Dear ARRL Affiliated Club:

This e-mail is to let you know that Ham-Com 2005 is set for June 3-5, 2005 at the Convention Center in Arlington, TX. Our event will again host the ARRL West Gulf Division Convention.

We would appreciate it very much if you would make this announcement available to your club members via your web site and/or your newsletter. The reason: Our Internet etiquette has changed to match the new "CAN-SPAM" environment. That means that this is the only e-mail that you will receive from us regarding the event UNLESS you and your members visit our web site and sign up for future mailings.

The Ham-Com staff has made some changes that we hope you will appreciate. First, you may have noticed that the event will run Friday through Sunday. Many people who attended the 2004 event thought that we should go back to three days and the staff agreed. We also thought that you would be interested in viewing the results of the attendee satisfaction survey that was posted on the web site after the 2004 event. We received 487 responses to the survey. To view the results, click on the following link http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?pg=survey.

Next, the Ham-Com web site has been upgraded to accommodate more information and online purchases of admission tickets, indoor and outdoor flea market tables and spaces, commercial booths, special event tickets and even products. Want a recording of Riley Hollingsworth's keynote speech? You can order it right now at http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?&rnd=9902292&rrc=N&affl=& cip=4.26.235.116&act=&aff=&pg=cat&ref=HC-Products. The same goes for the session that included Jim Haynie, W5JBP, ARRL President and Riley Hollingsworth, K4ZDH, talking about everything from license restructuring to BPL. And, you can view photos from Ham-Com 2004 via http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?&rnd=5195670&amp;rrc=N&affl=& cip=4.26.235.116&act=&aff=&pg=photos.

Wait a minute? Did we say that you can purchase Outdoor Flea Market spaces online? YES! And what a change we think that will make. The Dallas Amateur Radio Club (DARC) will be managing the Outdoor Flea Market this year. There are 162 spaces available and you can purchase one or more online beginning January 1, 2005.

Want to get on the Ham-Com mailing list and get monthly updates about what's going on? Just go to the web site at http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?pg=maillist and sign up. You can also remove your e-mail address at any time using this feature.

So, what's new at Ham-Com 2005? A lot of things including a number of new speakers, programs, workshops and special events. John Beadles, N5OOM, Programs Director, is developing a new group of programs for the three day event. Of course, the National Weather Service will hold Basic and Advanced SKYWARN schools plus at least three special programs.

The keynote speaker will be confirmed in February 2005. The staff is looking to find someone very special and we think we have just the right person in mind to talk to an audience full of Amateur Radio operators.

This year, you can bring the whole family to Ham-Com! The staff has put together a special XYL package for Saturday, June 5, 2005 and we will provide discount coupons for Six Flags over Texas and other attractions on request. Our plans for Saturday evening are a bit of a departure from previous years. The keynote speaker will begin at 6:30 p.m. At 7:00 p.m., the friends of Jim Haynie, W5JBP, will sponsor a celebrity roast of the ARRL President and at 8:00 p.m., the Grand Hall will be opened for an ice-cream social and swing dance with a well-known, area jazz band.

By the way: We tried to make things as convenient as possible for you. You can now pay by check, Visa, MasterCard or PayPal. All of the online payment methods use SSL security via the processing bank and PayPal web sites. The security of your data is assured by LinkPoint/FirstPay and PayPal, two of the largest online processors on the Internet. Discounts are available for online purchasers, including those who pay by check (restrictions apply; please visit http://www.hamcom.org/ for details). Of course, you can still pay at the event using cash, check, Visa or MasterCard.

Want to volunteer and get in free? You can do that online, too. Vistit http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?pg=volunteers and you can enter your information. The same link will provide information about schedules and assignments beginning May 1, 2005.

Well, that's quite a lot for one e-mail. We just wanted you to know that the Ham-Com staff is working hard to make your experience at the event a good one. And remember: You can always ask questions by using the e-mail links at http://www.hamcom.org/.

See you there!

73

Barry Goldblatt, WA5KXX
Chairman, Ham-Com 2005

P.S. This message will be sent only one time in compliance with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003. To receive further messages about Ham-Com 2005, you must visit http://www.hamcom.org/cgi-bin/ccp51/cp-app.cgi?pg=maillist and subscribe to our event mailing list.
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Space Heater Safety

CPSC offers the following general suggestions for selection, safe use, and maintenance of gas, wood, kerosene and electric space heaters.
Select a space heater with a guard around the flame area or the heating element.
Look for a heater that has been tested and certified by a nationally recognized testing laboratory.
Buy a heater that is the correct size for the area you want to heat.
Read and follow the manufacturer's operating instructions. Make sure that everyone in the household understands how to operate the heater safely.
Keep children and pets away from space heaters. Do not permit your children to adjust the controls or move the heater.
Keep doors open to the rest of the house if you are using an un-vented fuel-burning space heater. This helps to prevent pollutant build-up and promotes proper combustion.
Never leave a space heater on when you go to sleep or leave the area.
Never use or store flammable liquids (such as gasoline) around a space heater. The flammable vapors can flow from one part of the room to another and be ignited by the open flame or by an electrical spark.
Be aware that mobile homes require specially designed heating equipment. Only electric or vented fuel-fired heaters should be used.
Place heaters at least three feet away from objects such as bedding, furniture, and drapes. Never use heaters to dry clothes or shoes. Do not place heaters where towels or other objects could fall on the heater and start a fire.
Be certain your heater is placed on a level, hard, and non-flammable surface, not on rugs or carpets.
Keep the heater in a safe working condition. Replace missing guards and controls at once.
Never operate a defective heater. Have all necessary repairs done by qualified repair persons.
Equip your home with at least one smoke alarm and one carbon monoxide detector on each floor and outside sleeping areas.
Keep at least one dry-powder operative, ABC-type fire extinguisher in the home at all times.
Develop a fire escape plan before a fire occurs.
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verse of the day -- Harley E. Hudson

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man …

Ephesians 3:14 - 16 (NASB)

Do you remember him? I do. He was at the beach dressed in the typical swimmer’s garb. He was always relaxing on a towel soaking up the “rays”. Invariably, some 180 pound “he-man” kicked sand on him. Oh, did I tell you he was a 98 pound weakling. The caption promised to make him into a “Charles Atlas” … if he would just order the product in the small print!

I remember him well because I wanted to be the “he-man” but was trapped in a “weakling” body. I was the slowest member of the football team. I could not do the weight regimen of the stars. No matter how much I lifted, my arms never grew bigger. My shoulders never bulged. My neck never looked like a tree trunk. My legs never propelled me any faster. My hips never “swiveled”. My tummy always bulged the wrong way. I was born “weak” and I would stay “weak” for life. In my list of how I view myself, I could put “weakling” and be accurate. But, remember, we are making a list of how God views us.

So God sees us as “strong with the power of His Spirit.” Now those who have met me know that I am still no Charles Atlas. I have more flab than muscle, so obviously Paul is not referring to physical strength (at least I hope not because I would still be a failure!) So what is Paul telling us? Read on: “… with power through His Spirit in the inner man …” The inner man is strong through the Spirit. Hmmmm. What is the “inner man”? If it isn’t the flesh, then it must be something beyond normal vision. What lies within me that can’t be seen but can be strengthened? The spirit! Is my spirit stronger than it used to be? Can that be what Paul says? Let me take a personal inventory. You can look on if you desire.

I once thought about suicide. True. I was fed up with life. I actually had my car up to something approaching 100 miles per hour with the intent of crashing into something big and hard. I didn’t. God called upon my sensibilities and reassured me that life really was worth living. I have never thought about suicide again … ever. That indicates a stronger spirit in me. I used to get depressed around holidays. I hated them … thought them a waste of time. No more. I love having the family around. I love watching the kids open presents and playing with new toys and games. I love sitting around the dinner table sharing a traditional holiday meal with all my family. That indicates a stronger spirit in me. I used to sin on a regular basis. I don’t commit those sins any more … not because I try harder. That didn’t work. I have found that when I resigned that part of myself to Jesus, He took away the desire to sin. That indicates a stronger spirit in me.

I guess I am “strengthened with power thorough His Spirit in the inner man.” I am strong. Not because I lifted weights … physical or spiritual … but because I have surrendered more of myself to Jesus, my Master and Savior. I can write in my “How God Sees Me” column that I am STRONG IN THE SPIRIT. You can too. That is how God sees you. That is who YOU are … because God says you are strong!

Move over big boy. Harley is on the grounds and he has the strength of the Holy Spirit of God!

Harley

c. 2005 Harley E. Hudson

If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@earthlink.net and request a free subscription.
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TGIF-Today God Is First

Move On!
----------------------------------------------------
Friday, January 14, 2005
by Os Hillman

...''Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the Israelites to move on.'' ~ Exodus 14:15

Moses had brought the whole nation of Israel, approximately 600,000, to a dead end in the desert. The only thing between Israel and Pharaoh's pursuing army was the Red Sea. This was after ten plagues God had inflicted on Pharaoh to motivate him to free the Israelites. Finally, Pharaoh had freed Moses and the people, and they left Egypt. They thought they were home free. "Freedom at last," they said. But God did a strange thing. He directed Moses to take a route that led to the Red Sea, instead of the northern route around the Red Sea. God explained that He didn't want them fighting the enemies they would have encountered on this route. But still, there was the issue of the Red Sea.

They finally arrived at the Red Sea, and the people were wondering where they would go from there. News hit the camp: Pharaoh had changed his mind. He was coming after them with his army. Panic set in. The defenseless Israelites cried out, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?...It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (Ex. 14:11b-12)

God sometimes brings each of us to a "Red Sea" in our life. It may be a work problem that can't be solved. It may be a marriage that seems to be failing. It may be a debilitating disease. Whatever your Red Sea, God tells us one thing: "Keep moving." The Red Sea was before them, yet God was angered at Moses and told him to "Keep moving." "But Lord, the Red Sea is before me." "Keep moving." When we live by sight, we act on what we see. God sets this stage in dramatic fashion. God is into the dramatic. There is no way out without God here. That is just the way He wants it. No one will get glory except God.

A friend once admonished me when I was in the midst of a marriage separation that eventually led to a divorce, "You must not withdraw from being proactive in your faith just because of this trial that you are in. God's hand is on your life. There are too many who are depending on you to fulfill the purposes God has in your life. Keep moving! Keep investing yourself in others." I didn't feel like it. I was in too much pain. But I did it anyway. God met me at the point of my greatest need once I decided simply to be obedient.

Getting past myself by investing myself in others helped heal the pain. There is great healing when we look past our own problems and seek to invest ourselves in others for the sake of Christ. This is when our own Red Seas become parted. We begin to walk to freedom. But we will never experience the miracle of the Red Sea in our lives if we don't first "Keep moving."
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2004
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Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Os Hillman Copyright 2004
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NewsScan Daily, 2005 ("Above The Fold")
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NewsScan Daily is underwritten by RLG, a world-class organization making significant and sustained contributions to the effective management and appropriate use of information technology. NSD is written by John Gehl and Suzanne Douglas, editors@NewsScan.com.
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"ABOVE THE FOLD"

WHAT'S UP NEXT FOR E-LEARNING?
"Colleges, universities and the military will outpace corporations in rolling out innovative and effective learning programs. Computer games will increasingly be viewed as a new type of scalable content that will raise the bar on engagement and enable new types of skills to be taught," predicts author Clark Aldrich, author of "Simulations and the Future of Learning," in a collection of expert prognostications assembled by eLearn Magazine editor Lisa Neal. Among the contributors are Don Norman, co-principle of the Nielsen Norman Group, who forecasts the rise of adult educational tools: "I expect language tutors for adults. Why not combine handheld dictionaries, phrase translators, and CD-ROM courses into a portable device?" And Indiana U. professor Curt Bonk sees a bright future for open-source courseware: "Jumping on the open-source bandwagon may mean supporting innovative pilot projects, funding code enhancements and joining the Sakai community." But as emerging technologies such as blogs, wikis and podcasts draw the attention of major commercial players like Microsoft, Yahoo and Google, look for a new bout of legal wrangling, says Canada's National Research Council's Stephen Downes: "But as grassroots technologies are appropriated for commercial objectives, conflicts over rights and use emerge, and competing standards extensions create genuine difficulties for users. Expect, for example, patent claims and threats of lawsuits over aspects of content syndication technology, lawsuits regarding unauthorized use of RSS feeds. Behind the scenes (and mostly unnoticed), the Web is beginning to fracture. Some time in the next three years the first case of URL-piracy (releasing the address of a resource without authorization) will be heard." (eLearn Magazine Jan 2005)

NO SURPRISES HERE -- A BIGGER ROLE FOR THE INTERNET PREDICTED
A majority of the 1,286 experts polled by the Pew Internet & American Life Project and Elon University believe that at least one devastating attack on either the networked information infrastructure or the U.S. power grid will occur in the next 10 years. Other areas of general agreement: The Internet will become more deeply integrated in our physical environments and high-speed connections will become more commonplace. When examining the impact of these trends, 59% agreed that government and business surveillance activities likely will increase as computing devices become embedded in appliances, cars, phones and even clothes; 57% said virtual classes will play a greater role in formal education, with students occasionally grouped by skill level or interest, rather than by age; 56% predicted a continued blurring of the line between work and leisure thanks to the expansion of telecommuting, and resulting in a changing family dynamic; and 50% thought P2P music file-sharing would still be available a decade from now. Schools came in for sharp criticism, with many of the experts noting how little educational institutions had changed, despite all the hype over "school wiring" during the past decade. And it was generally agreed that the "digital divide" was alive and well, with low income, rural and poorly educated people having significantly less access to the Internet than their wealthier, better educated and more metropolitan counterparts. (Pew Internet & American Life Project 10 Jan 2005)

CELL PHONES COULD DOUBLE AS CREDIT CARDS
In Asia, cell phone handset makers are already marketing phones with embedded memory devices (a chip or magnetic strip) that can be swiped against credit or debit card readers in much the same way consumers now use plastic, and trials are underway to bring the technology to the U.S. Details are still being worked on important issues such as security -- consumers may be required to punch in an authorization code each time they charge something -- and in two trials users experienced difficulty in aiming their cell phones at the right angle for the card reader to pick up the data. "People got very upset. Pointing your cell phone at a target is very difficult," says Jorge Fernandes, CEO of cellphone software firm Vivotech. That issue will probably be resolved by switching from infrared to low-level radio signals, but the biggest obstacle is likely to be a dearth of card readers able to interact with the phones. "The phones are exciting, but it's going to be a long time" before a widespread base of U.S. merchants and consumers are equipped to use them, says Visa International VP Sue Gordon-Lathrop. (New York Times 10 Jan 2005)

PORN DRIVES DVD TECHNOLOGY
Just as it has with other home entertainment technologies, pornography is proving a driving force in the future of high-definition DVDs. The multi-billion-dollar industry releases about 11,000 DVD titles a year, giving it a strong position in the debate over which technical standard -- Blu-ray or HD-DVD -- will dominate in next-generation DVDs. Analysts say currently, the smaller outfits are leaning toward HD-DVD because of its lower cost, while larger operations like Blu-ray's bigger storage capacity, which could be used for "creative expression" -- like giving viewers a choice of camera angles. Hollywood is also lining up on both sides of the battle, with Fox and Disney declaring their preference for Blu-ray and Warner Home Video siding with HD-DVD. But for now, everyone's kind of waiting around to see which format takes the lead. "We're kind of riding it out a little further to see where the trend goes," says an executive with leading porn producer Wicked Pictures. (Reuters/Washington Post 10 Jan 2004)

COMCAST MOVE RATCHETS UP CABLE-TELCO COMPETITION
Comcast Corp., the largest U.S. cable-TV operator, is launching an aggressive push into the phone business with plans to market a VoIP phone service to 15 million homes by the 2005 and to practically all 40 million potential customers in its service area within 18 months. The move underscores Comcast's strategy to expand its core business to include Internet access and voice communications while at the same time increase the company's position in content ownership. The announcement of yet another cable assault on telephone companies' traditional turf likely will fuel more discounted offerings by the telcos, including television through alliances with satellite-TV operators and bundles that include wireless service -- something most big cable companies don't yet offer. Meanwhile, Comcast says its initial package will enable subscribers to check voice mail on the Web, and plans call for testing a videophone service and developing a call-waiting service that whispers the identity of the second caller. It is also looking into phones that act like traditional landline phones in the house but turn into cell phones outdoors. (Wall Street Journal 10 Jan 2005) (sub req'd)

YAHOO'S NEW DESKTOP SEARCH TOOL
Yahoo is offering free desktop search software that searches through more than 200 different file types on your computer and offers added privacy controls to prevent unauthorized access to your stored information. A downloadable test version of the software can be found at http://desktop.yahoo.com. Yahoo claims its new product is the most comprehensive and nimble of the desktop search solutions now on the market. (AP/San Jose Mercury News 10 Jan 2005)

THE NEW SHAPE OF PC CARDS
The credit-card-size PC cards for adding functions to notebook computers are about to be replaced by "ExpressCards" that are half the size and bear an orange rabbit logo to indicate they can handle high-definition TV broadcast viewing and high-speed storage. Backed by Microsoft, Intel, and Dell, the new cards will eventually be used on desktop PCs -- thereby eliminating the need to open the computer to install hardware upgrades. (Reuters/USA Today 11 Jan 2005)

'ON THE INTERNET, NO ONE KNOWS YOU'RE A DOG'
Psychologists believe that secret role-playing may be good or bad, depending on the circumstances. Harvard psychology professor Daniel M. Wegner says: "In a very deep sense, you don't have a self unless you have a secret, and we all have moments throughout our lives when we feel we're losing ourselves in our social group, or work or marriage, and it feels good to grab for a secret, or some subterfuge, to reassert our identity as somebody apart." The Internet is famous for accommodating people with multiple personalities, and MIT sociologist and author Sherry Turkle says, "It used to be you'd go away for the summer and be someone else, go away to camp and be someone else, or maybe to Europe and be someone else" -- whereas now many people now use online interactive games to set up families they wish they had or to play out alternative versions of their own lives. "I think what people are doing on the Internet now has deep psychological meaning in terms of how they're using identities to express problems and potentially solve them in what is a relatively consequence-free zone." In further defense of secret lives, New York clinical psychiatrist Jay S. Kwawer says, "Contrary to what many people assume, quite often a secret life can bring a more lively, more intimate, more energized part of themselves out of the dark." (New York Times 11 Jan 2005)


EXERCISE + GAMING = 'EXERGAMING'
Last week's consumer electronics show in Las Vegas sponsored a "Cardio PlayZone" featuring "exergaming" or "exertainment" -- the marriage of physical exercise and video gaming. Six exhibitors showed off digital putting greens, optical sensors in miniature dance floors, biofeedback devices, and workout systems. The customer support manager for Kilowatt, a workout exergame, said: "The most common question I get is, 'How is this exercise? I just don't see how this is a workout.' But it will tone you. It is a workout." In the exergame "Dance Dance Revolution," players tap their feet to the correct circle on a floor pad, based on cues on the screen, and if they wish may compete against 15 other people worldwide. (AP/Los Angeles Times 10 Jan 2005)

ACLU OPPOSES POLICE "DNA DRAGNET" TO CATCH KILLER
The American Civil Liberties Union in Massachusetts wants to stop police officials of the Cape Code town of Truro from tracking down a killer through the use voluntary genetic tests on the town's male residents. The ACLU says the mass collection of DNA is "a serious intrusion on personal privacy that has proven to be both ineffective and wasteful," and suggests that men might be reluctant to refuse to offer their DNA for fear of becoming murder suspects. Law enforcement consultant Howard Safir says the ACLU "thinks that any request by police for assistance is intimidation."(USA Today 10 Jan 2005)

NEW MAC TARGETS LOW-END MARKET
Apple Computer's new, stripped-down Mac Mini is priced as low as $499, reflecting Apple's strategy to position the Mac as an entertainment and communication device designed for today's digital household, which views the PC as simply another appliance. The move is fueled in part by the company's success with its iPod digital music players, which has reached mass market proportions with 10 million sold over the last three years. "I wish I had a nickel for every time people have suggested that we do this," says Apple CEO Steve Jobs. "We want to price this Mac so that people who are thinking of switching will have no excuse." Piper Jaffray analyst Gene Munster says most consumers won't give up their Microsoft PCs, but may consider buying a Mac as an additional computer for entertainment. "It's not about switching but adding. People may still need a PC because of work activities, but this is for doing multimedia activities and searching the Internet." In addition to the low-cost Mac Mini, Apple also debuted a $99 iPod Shuffle, which comes without a screen and can hold about 120 songs, compared with 5,000 on a standard iPod. (New York Times 12 Jan 2005)

DISK DRIVES MEET THE LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS
"The disk drive is not going to get much smaller," says Disk/Trend analyst Jim Porter, noting that the diminished storage capacity of smaller drives opens up a market opportunity flash memory chips. The problem goes back to basic science: Reducing the area of a drive platter greatly reduces the surface area for storing data, and at some point it no longer makes sense. "Any time you shrink the disk, you halve the capacity," says IDC analyst Dave Reinsel. This doesn't mean that mini drives have reached a dead end, however. Design modifications such as perpendicular recording will enable drive makers to double capacities on small drives to 8GB to 10GB within a year, while maintaining a significant price advantage over flash memory competitors. Porter speculates that when "Mikey," the code name for a Hitachi mini drive due out next holiday season, hits 10GB, similar-capacity flash memory chips might cost 10 times as much. (CNet News.com 12 Jan 2005)

FTC SHUTS DOWN X-RATED SPAMMERS
The Federal Trade Commission has won a preliminary injunction against six companies accused of profiting from sexually explicit junk e-mail. The injunction, granted by U.S. District Court Judge Philip M. Pro, will last the duration of the FTC's civil suit against the companies. The case marks the first time the FTC has taken action under a rule included in the last years "Can Spam" Act that requires a label identifying sexually explicit e-mail in the subject line. The law also holds liable Web site operators who benefit from fraudulent pornographic spam. "It's not just the people who push the buttons to send spam" who are liable," notes FTC marketing practices division director Eileen Harrington. Named in the FTC complaint are Global Net Solutions, Open Space Enterprises, Southlake Group and WTFRC Inc., all of Nevada; Global Net Ventures of London; and Wedlake Ltd., which is based in Riga, Latvia. (AP 12 Jan 2005)

IDENTITY THIEF DRAWS 14-YEAR PRISON TERM
A former help-desk worker at Teledata Communications, which provides banks with access to credit information, was sentenced to 14 years in prison for his role in the largest identity theft in U.S. history. U.S. District Court Judge George B. Daniels called the damage to victims caused by Philip A. Cummings "almost unimaginable," involving tens of thousands of individuals and caused losses of between $50 million and $100 million. Daniels noted the case "emphasized how easy it is to wreak havoc on people's financial and personal lives." (AP/Los Angeles Times 12 Jan 2005)

NEW SOFTWARE FINDS VIDEO IN A SNAP
A 20-year-old student at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, has developed a software application that combines P2P file sharing software BitTorrent with RSS (Really Simple Syndication) software used for blogging. While other software that does the same thing exists, Sajeeth Cherian notes that his Videora application is less complicated and doesn't "demand computer enthusiasts' knowledge." Once a user downloads Videora, the program automatically installs BitTorrent and downloads the RSS feeds. Users just type in a title or keyword, such as "amateur tsunami videos," and the program will automatically create a list of possibilities, any of which can be downloaded by double-clicking on the file. "We extract the BitTorrent link from the RSS feed, and if the title matches what you are looking for, we start downloading the BitTorrent file from the RSS link," says Cherian. The Videora software is available free or users can pay $23 for a version with additional features. (Wired.com 11 Jan 2005)

SECURITY I: VANDALISM OF COLLEGE NETWORKS
Early this month an intruder penetrated a central computer at George Mason University and attempted to access GMU's 130 other servers -- which hold such information as grades, financial aid, and payrolls. In the past two years, similar attacks have occurred at the universities of Georgia, Texas, Missouri, and California. To resist such attacks, some schools are beginning to use software that scans individual computers before they are allowed to connect to campus networks, and other institutions are setting up multiple smaller networks that house sensitive data, keeping them separate from the main networks. (Washington Post 12 Jan 2005)

SECURITY II: ATTACK ON T-MOBILE
A network vandal broke into the network of wireless carrier T-Mobile over a seven-month period and read e-mails and personal computer files of hundreds of customers -- including those of the Secret Service agent investigating the hacker himself. The online activities of the vandal, 21-year-old computer engineer Nicolas Lee Jacobsen of Santa Ana, were traced to a hotel where he was staying in Williamsport, N.Y. Although Jacobsen was able to view the names and Social Security numbers of 400 customers (all of whom were notified in writing about the break-in), customer credit card numbers and other financial information never were revealed, and T-Mobile says it "immediately took steps that prevented any further access to this system." (AP/12 Jan 2005)

SECURITY III: THE CRIMINAL CLASS
In an interview with journalist John Markoff of the New York Times, security expert Bruce Schneier suggests that the problem of Web vandalism has fundamentally changed in the last several years. Previously, hackers were mainly kids, engaging in hacking as a kind of intellectual challenge or a sport, but more recently hackers are coming mainly from criminals "in Third World countries, from Africa, South America, Asia, and the former Soviet Union" -- a development that makes life much harder for security officials. Schneier, whose latest book is "Beyond Fear," is founder and chief technology officer of Counterpane Internet Security. (New York Times 13 Jan 2005)

SECURITY IV: NEW FBI SOFTWARE NOT USABLE
A new FBI computer system called Virtual Case File, designed to help agents share information to ward off terrorist attacks, may have to be discarded because it doesn't work as designed. The agency will be soliciting proposals for new software from outside contractors for new software. Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.), chairman of the Senate appropriations subcommittee, calls the development "a stunning reversal of progress" and adds: "If the software has failed, that sets us back a long way. This has been a fits-and-starts exercise, and a very expensive one for a very long time. There are very serious questions about whether the FBI is able to keep up with the expanding responsibility and the amount of new dollars that are flowing into it. We have fully funded it at its requested levels." Science Applications, the company that developed the system, says it "successfully completed" delivery of the initial version of the Virtual Case File software last month. (Los Angeles Times 13 Jan 2005)

LIBARIES GET $11 MILLION FROM GATES FOUNDATION
The Gates Foundation, established by Microsoft chairman Bill Gates and his wife, is giving $11 million in cash grants to public libraries in 37 states and the District of Columbia to buy computers and software and pay for faster Internet connections. The grants, which will be matched partially with other money from state and federal sources, are intended to ensure that public libraries can continue to offer patrons free access to technology. Susan Hildreth, the state librarian in California, which got $416,800 from the Gates Foundation, says: "We are the first resort for Internet access, particularly in low-income areas. People expect computers to be available at the library, at the highest technological level." (AP/USA Today 13 Jan 2005)

APPLE SUES STUDENT FOR DIVULGING SECRETS
Nicholas Ciarelli launched what has become one of the most influential Apple-focused Web sites when he was 13 as a hangout for fellow Mac enthusiasts, but his penchant for posting trade secrets has gotten the now-19-year-old Harvard student, who publishes online under the name Nick dePlume, in hot water. Apple filed a lawsuit Jan. 4 against ThinkSecret.com and its unnamed tipsters, charging: "Apple is informed and believes that Defendant Nick dePlume is an individual who uses the pseudonym 'Nick dePlume' but whose true name and identity cannot be confirmed at this time." Apple, known for its highly secretive culture, says it believes ThinkSecret obtains its information by illegally soliciting information about unreleased Apple products from individuals who violate their confidentiality agreements. In fact, on Dec. 28 the site correctly predicted Apple's debut of its $499 Mac Mini and a low-cost iPod. In response to Apple's accusations, Ciarelli replies, "I didn't do anything wrong. My reporting practices are the same that any journalists use. I talk to sources, I confirm details, I follow up on tips and leads that I get." It will be difficult for Apple to prove that Ciarelli's coverage has violated its trade secrets, says an intellectual property attorney, noting that trade secrets usually refer to the formula behind products, not simply the details about their release. (Wall Street Journal 14 Jan 2005) (sub req'd)

SQUEEZING MORE OUT OF JPEG
Allume Systems, based in California, says the new version of its StuffIt compression technology can reduce JPEG files by an additional 28% without loss of quality. The announcement met with some skepticism among compression specialists, but researchers have previously suggested that significant improvements -- perhaps as high as 30% -- were possible by enhancing certain aspects of the JPEG technology. Data compression is achieved by finding replicated patterns in data and encoding them so that they can be represented by a smaller amount of data. Allume would like to see its new StuffIt Image Format (SIF) replace JPEG as the dominant method for storing files, noting that it could save significant storage space for those with very large digital image collections. But some experts point to the new, improved JPEG2000, which could provide comparable benefits. "It is not only technically advanced, but is royalty and license-free as well," says Mike Reddy, a compression expert at the University of Glamorgan in Wales. (New Scientist 12 Jan 2005)

WIRELESS HOTMAIL IN INDIA
Microsoft has inked a deal with two Indian wireless carriers to deliver e-mail and instant messages via text messaging. BPL Mobile and Airtel launched two new services on Thursday -- Mobile-mail and MSN Messenger over SMS -- but have not released details on whether or how much they plan to charge. Microsoft is not the first to offer Indian consumers such services -- Yahoo already has similar arrangements with wireless carriers serving India, including Orange, Hutch and Airtel. (CNet News.com 13 Jan 2005)

CELLERY WORM PLAYS GAMES WITH VICTIMS
Users are being warned about the Cellery worm -- a Windows virus that piggybacks on the hugely popular Tetris game. Rather than spreading itself via e-mail, Cellery installs a playable version of Tetris on the user's machine. When the game starts up, the worm seeks out other computers it can infect on the same network. The virus does no damage, but could result in clogged traffic on heavily infected networks. "If your company has a culture of allowing games to be played in the office, your staff may believe this is simply a new game that has been installed -- rather than something that should cause concern," says a spokesman for computer security firm Sophos. (BBC News 13 Jan 2005)

PAINT ON A LITTLE WI-FI SECURITY
Tired of worrying whether your wireless hotspot is hosting "drive-by" users? Force Field Wireless has developed a do-it-yourself DefendAir paint "laced with copper and aluminum fibers that form an electromagnetic shield, blocking most radio waves and protecting wireless networks." One coat of the water-based paint "shields Wi-Fi, WiMax and Bluetooth networks operating at frequencies from 100 megahertz to 2.4 gigahertz," while two or three applications are "good for networks operating at up to five gigahertz." Force Field Wireless warns that the paint must be applied carefully -- too little, and the radio waves will "leak"; too much and you risk hindering the performance of radios, televisions and cell phones. And while the only color available is a dreary gray, DefendAir can also be used as a primer so you can paint over it with your favorite hue. (The Register 13 Jan 2005)


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HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: ALLAN PINKERTON
Today's Honorary Subscriber is the private detective Allan Pinkerton (1819-1884), who founded the fabled detective agency bearing his name.
The Pinkerton National Detective Agency and its operatives, commonly called "Pinkertons," almost single-handedly defined the role of the private investigator, a new figure in 19th century society. Pinkerton led his agency to national prominence by a steady stream of successful investigations. These began with the capture of the principals in a $700,000 Adams Express Company theft in 1866 and the thwarting of an assassination plot against President-elect Lincoln in February 1861 in Baltimore. During the Civil War, under the name E.J. Allen, Pinkerton headed an organized effort to gather military information in the Southern states. After the war Pinkerton returned to providing detective services, mostly investigations of railroad thievery.
The Pinkerton Agency also became embroiled in controversial strikebreaking actions, most notably its investigation of the Molly Maguires, a coal miners organization accused of terrorism. Today, the Pinkerton Detective Agency is commonly viewed as having anticipated many of the investigative activities that are now institutionalized in the Federal Bureau of Investigation and Interpol. To promote a positive image of his agency, Pinkerton told the story of its accomplishments in a series of autobiographical books: "The Molly Maguires and the Detectives"; "Criminal Reminiscences and Detective Sketches"; "The Spy of the Rebellion"; and "Thirty Years a Detective."
Pinkerton was born the son of a police sergeant in Glasgow, Scotland. After completing an apprenticeship as a cooper, he emigrated to the United States in 1842 and settled in Chicago, the next year setting up a cooper's shop in nearby Kane County. While cutting wood on a deserted island one day, he discovered and later captured a gang of counterfeiters. This led to his being appointed deputy sheriff, first of Kane County and then of Cook County, with headquarters in Chicago. Soon Pinkerton became a detective on the newly formed Chicago police force, but in 1852 he resigned to start a private detective agency, specializing in railway theft cases. His success in solving train robbery cases brought him his first fame, which was greatly increased in 1861 when he became Abraham Lincoln's personal bodyguard following the discovery of the pre-inauguration assassination plot.
After Pinkerton's death his agency continued to be active in taking the side of management in combating the then-fledgling American labor movement. Pinkerton agents were widely criticized for their part in such labor disturbances as the 1894 Pullman Strike and the 1914 Colorado Ludlow Massacre. These actions somewhat overshadowed the Pinkerton Agency's long record of suppressing criminal activity, such as the 1868 capture of the Reno brothers gang of train robbers.
[To find a library copy of "The Molly Maguires and the Detectives," visit RLG's RedLightGreen service at: -- or to purchase a copy of a biography of Pinkerton by James Mackay go to:

WORTH THINKING ABOUT: FOOD STORAGE
In his book about human accomplishment, social scientist Charles Murray takes us back to the way it was 8,000 years ago:
"What kind of people were they? In the important ways, just like us. That doesn't mean that people of -8000 perceived the world as we do, but the differences were caused by cultural and educational gulfs, not smaller brain size. All of us had our counterparts in the world of -8000 -- people as clever, handsome, aesthetically alert, and industrious as any of us, with senses of humor as witty or ribald. Humans of -8000 were so like us that one of their infants raised in 21C would be indistinguishable from his playmates.
"The humans of -8000 had already accomplished much. Fire had been not just tamed, but manipulated, adapted for uses ranging from lamps to the oxidation of pigments. Stone tools were sophisticated, including finely crafted hammers and axes, and spears and arrows with razor edges. The technology for acquiring and working the materials for such objects had evolved remarkably by -8000. There is evidence of underground mining of chert, a quartz used for spearheads and arrowheads, as early as -35,000. "By -8000, humans already had fully developed languages, the most advanced of which expressed ideas and emotions with precision. A few of them apparently had begun to work fibers into textiles. They knew how to grind seeds to make flour. The first tentative efforts to work copper had already occurred. And the human spirit was manifesting itself. Burial of the dead, drawings, sculptures, the conscious use of color, concepts of gods and cosmic mysteries were all part of human cultures scattered around the earth in -8000.
"These were large accomplishments, and already set Homo sapiens apart from other living creatures. And yet most of the world's population in -8000 lived a daily life that in its physical dimensions was only marginally different from that of the animals they hunted. Humans had learned to find shelter from the cold and wet, but nothing we would find much more comfortable than the dens used by other animals. They had tools for hunting and gathering, but food nonetheless had to be obtained continually, by tracking and killing game or by finding wild vegetables and fruits. It was not always an exhausting life. When food was plentiful, Paleolithic man actually had a considerable amount of leisure time. But the tiny surpluses humans accumulated by smoking or salting their meat were stopgaps for emergencies."
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[To find a library copy of Charles Murray's "Human Accomplishment: The Pursuit of Excellence in the Arts and Sciences, 800 B.C. to 1950," visit RLG's RedLightGreen service at: -- or to purchase a copy go to:

HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: THOMAS MOORE
Today's Honorary Subscriber is the Irish poet and songwriter Thomas Moore (1779-1852), who enjoyed great popularity in his day, especially for his many lyrics set to music, such as "The Last Rose of Summer" and "Oft in the Stilly Night."
Moore's close friendships with Lord Byron and Percy Bysshe Shelley made him a well-known figure in literary circles. His major poetic work, "Irish Melodies," a group of 130 poetic melodies, was performed over the years 1807 to 1834 for London's aristocracy. This work earned him an annual income of £500 for a quarter of a century and aroused sympathy and support for the Irish nationalists, among whom Moore was a popular hero.
His narrative poem "Lalla Rookh," set on Byron's advice in an atmosphere of Oriental splendor, was perhaps the most translated poem of its time, earning an astounding £3,000, till then the highest price paid by an English publisher for a poem. It helped raise Moore's reputation to a level rivaling that of Byron and Sir Walter Scott.
Many of Moore's compositions, such as "The Fudge Family in Paris," were satirical in nature, portraying the politics and manners of the Regency period. In 1824 Moore became the recipient of Byron's memoirs, which he promptly burned, presumably to protect Byron's reputation. Later in 1830 he brought out "The Letters and Journals of Lord Byron," in which he included a life of the poet.
Moore was born the son of a wine merchant in Dublin, Ireland. He graduated from Trinity College, Dublin, and then studied law at the Middle Temple in London. His interest in the law was desultory at best, and he turned instead to exploit his literary gifts to support himself. As a young child Moore, encouraged by his mother, showed a talent for recitation and singing. By age fourteen he was composing verses that were published in a Dublin literary periodical. While a student at Trinity, he devoted himself to the verse translation of the odes of the Greek poet Anacreon. He completed the work in London and received permission to dedicate it to the Prince of Wales, ensuring its wide reception by the English gentry.
Moore secured a minor post in the British bureaucracy, but after an uninteresting assignment in Bermuda he abandoned his post and returned to England, visiting the United States and Canada en route. He then turned to writing full time, becoming a prolific author of much light, serious and satirical verse and prose. He also charmed his way onto the London social scene, and became accepted as Ireland's national lyric poet. Financial problems stemming from his post in Bermuda forced him to spend three years in Italy to avoid debtor's prison. There he renewed his friendship with Byron who made him his literary heir.
In 1822 Moore was able to return to his home in Wiltshire, England, where he spent his remaining years until his death in 1852. Moore was a born singer and some of his best-loved songs still earn Byron's praise as being "worth all the epics ever written."

[To find a library copy of "The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore," visit RLG's RedLightGreen service at: -- or to purchase a copy go to: Note: We donate all revenue from our book recommendations to adult literacy programs.]

MAILBAG: THE WORLD AS WE FIND IT

EDUCATION IS NOT A BUSINESS
Re:
You write: "Secretary of Education Rod Paige says in the National Education Technology Plan: 'Education is the only business still debating the usefulness of technology...' Pleased to hear it. IT is for business, for processes, for production. Education is not a business, despite the relentless, gargantuan efforts of politicians and their accountants at every level (including those within education) to turn it into one, so that it better suits their budget-culture. Education is human interaction at its highest level. Interaction via e-mail, chat, and even video link is a poor, pale, false imitation of the real thing. Politicians (I repeat: especially those within education itself) seem unable to recognize this. (John Law, Information Officer, University of Newcastle upon Tyne, U.K.)

THE DESTRUCTION OF THE GREAT LIBRARY
Re:
In your piece on the Library of Alexandria you don't go into the story of the destruction of the library. Here is what Preston Chesser says: "The final individual to get blamed for the destruction is the Moslem Caliph Omar. In 640 AD the Moslems took the city of Alexandria. Upon learning of 'a great library containing all the knowledge of the world' the conquering general supposedly asked Caliph Omar for instructions. The Caliph has been quoted as saying of the Library's holdings, 'they will either contradict the Koran, in which case they are heresy, or they will agree with it, so they are superfluous.' So, allegedly, all the texts were destroyed by using them as tinder for the bathhouses of the city. Even then it was said to have taken six months to burn all the documents. But these details, from the Caliph's quote to the incredulous six months it supposedly took to burn all the books, weren't written down until 300 years after the fact. These facts condemning Omar were written by Bishop Gregory Bar Hebræus, a Christian who spent a great deal of time writing about Moslem atrocities without much historical documentation." Although some claim that the fire was of unknown origin, that it was the work of the Arab conquerors is generally accepted. This takes us back to the subject we have often discussed: the role of the Arabs in transmitting Greek knowledge to the medieval West. (Ronald Hilton)

THE RETURN OF THE PRIGGER-NAPPERS
Re:
I enjoyed (more than usual) your "Worth Thinking About" feature on slang ("Prigger-Nappers"). Thanks! (Tom Kinsel)

A TIME LONG AGO, WHEN BAD WAS GOOD
Re:
What a nice reminder! Some of my most cherished memories are of trips long ago with our family when cars didn't automatically come with radios, or CD players or DVD entertainment systems and headphones. My folks were always musical, though not professionally. So what we did in the car, over the long days of our trips, was to sing. Actually, what we did was LEARN to sing. My folks, somehow were able to teach me, for instance, how to harmonize a tenor part to almost anything I ever heard. My brother and sister also learned to harmonize, and we sang three or four parts all the time. We never had written music, but could take almost anything and sound pretty competent, at least in my memories. Later, we kids joined glee clubs and choirs, some continuing to this day. Music is a constant in our lives.
My dad, an insurance executive, and my mom would occasionally (and to the eternal embarrassment of the kids) sing, in company, a song called 'I Want to Be Bad.' I'm not sure whether it ever turned up on the hit parade, but it included verses like --
'If it's naughty to rouge your lips,
Shake your shoulders and shake your hips,
Let a lady confess, I want to be bad!'
I'd love to have them here to sing it today.
Thanks, NewsScan guys. You're always great. But some days you're perfect.
(Skip Eastman, Los Alamitos, CA)

WORTH THINKING ABOUT: UNAMPLIFIED VOICES
Walt Whitman wrote: "I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear, Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it should be blithe and strong, The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank or beam, The mason singing ... "
But poet and essayist Adrienne Rich hasn't heard much singing in the last fifty years:
"For ordinary people to sing or whistle used to be as common as breathing. I remember men whistling, briskly or hauntingly, women humming with deep-enclosed chest tones. Where did it go? A technology of 'canned' music available through car radios, portable 'boom boxes,' and cassette players, programmed music piped into the workplace, has left people born in the 1950s and later largely alien to the experience of hearing or joining in casual music making. Knowing how to pitch your voice isn't the privilege of the conservatory; people used to learn it from hearing others casually, unselfconsciously sing, as they learned language, accent, inflection in speech. Now singing belongs to professionals, is preserved in churches; rap, a spontaneous and sophisticated expression of Black street youth at first, quickly became a commodity on videotape, adapted as a new style for television commercials. (Yet rap goes on around the world, picking up on local grief, local insurgencies.)
"Part of the experience of casual singing was the undeliberate soaking up of many songs, many verses. Ballads, hymns, work songs, opera arias, folk songs, popular songs, labor songs, school-children's playground songs. And, of course, with the older songs words changed over time, new generations of singers misremembering or modifying. Tunes changed, too, as songs traveled: from England or Wales to Appalachia, from Africa to the Sea Islands, France to Quebec, and across the continent.
"To ears accustomed to high-technology amplification and recording processes, the unamplified human voice, the voice not professionally trained, may sound acoustically lacking, even perhaps embarrassing. And so we're severed from a physical release and pleasure, whether in solitude or community -- the use of breath to produce song. But breath is also 'Ruach', spirit, the human connection to the universe."
***
[To find a library copy of Adrienne Rich's "What Is Found There: Notebooks on Poetry and Politics," visit RLG's RedLightGreen service at: -- or to purchase a copy go to:

HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: KING JAMES I
Today's Honorary Subscriber is James I, the first king to rule both England and Scotland.
King James is probably best remembered today for the English translation of the Bible that bears his name. Still treasured for its Shakespearean language, the King James Version of the Bible was the work of scholars assembled by James, and his own contribution to the translation was minimal, consisting of minor editorial revisions. But the final product, published in 1611 after 9 years of work, rightly bears his name because it would never have been undertaken without his sponsorship and not completed except for his constant support.
James I was the only child of Mary, Queen of Scots. He was only 15 months old when his mother was expelled from the Scottish throne and he was crowned James VI. Placed in the care of several regents, he was given a good education, including studies of Greek, French, and Latin. Assembled for his use was a respectable library of classical and religious writings, which might explain his later literary ambitions. James began his personal rule of Scotland in 1583. As head of church and state, he displayed his talent to hold in check any of the nobles who dared to oppose his royal authority. Wanting to succeed the childless Elizabeth I to the English throne, James muted his displeasure when his mother was executed in 1587 for treason against the queen. In 1589 James married Anne of Denmark, who would bear him several children, but cause him some distress by becoming a Roman Catholic.
In 1603, James succeeded Elizabeth and became the first Stuart king of England. As the monarch of both Scotland and England, he took to calling himself the King of Great Britain, but he would concern himself almost entirely with English affairs. At first he was well received by the English nobles, but in time he surrounded himself with his favorites, making himself unpopular with the others. James was suspected by the Protestants of being pro-Catholic, and even the notorious Catholic-inspired Guy Fawkes plot to blow up both king and Parliament did not erase the suspicion caused by his 1604 peace treaty with Catholic Spain. His relations with Parliament were constantly in turmoil over his financial excesses and his overbearing sense of royal privilege. By the time he died in 1627 he had built up a legacy of conflict with an increasingly self-assertive Parliament that would lead to the rebellion that ended in the execution of his son and heir, Charles I.
[To find a library copy of Antonia Fraser's biographer of James I, visit RLG's RedLightGreen service at: -- or to purchase a copy go to:

Note: We donate all revenue from our book recommendations to adult literacy programs.]

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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
January 16, Sunday, Hannah Medical Center Grand Opening, 2-4 PM
~~~
February 5 El Dorado 7:30 p.m. Krystle Maczka, Piano
February 6 Magnolia 2:00 p.m. "
~~~
March 5 Camden 7:30 p.m. Premier String Quartet
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April 3 El Dorado 3:00 p.m. Xiang Gao, Violin
~~~
MCC Tanzania, Africa Mission Trip, July 2005. Get your passport!
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be
found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/ This posting covers the last two weeks.

The Department of Defense announced the death of six soldiers supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died January 6 in Baghdad, Iraq when an improvised explosive device struck their Bradley fighting vehicle. All six were assigned to the Army National Guard's 256th Infantry Brigade (Mechanized), Lafayette, La. A seventh soldier was also killed in the incident but the information will be released separately based upon next of kin notification policies.
Killed were:
01. Sgt. 1st Class Kurt J. Comeaux, 34, of Raceland, La.
02. Sgt. Christopher J. Babin, 27, of Houma, La.
03. Spc. Bradley J. Bergeron, 25, of Houma, La.
04. Spc. Huey P. L. Fassbender, 24, of LaPlace, La.
05. Spc. Armand L. Frickey, 20, of Houma, La.
06. Spc. Warren A. Murphy, 29, of Marrero, La.

07. Pfc. Kenneth G. Vonronn, 20, of Bloomingburg, N.Y., died January 6 in Baghdad, Iraq, with six of his fellow Soldiers when an improvised explosive device struck their Bradley fighting vehicle. Vonronn was assigned to the Army National Guard’s Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion, 69th Infantry Regiment, 42nd Infantry Division, New York, N.Y.

08. Pfc. Daniel F. Guastaferro, 27, of Las Vegas, Nev., died January 7 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, when his military vehicle left the road and went into a canal. Guastaferro was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, Camp Casey, Korea.

08. Spc. Dwayne J. McFarlane Jr., 20, of Cass Lake, Minn., died Jan. 9 in Baghdad, Iraq, when his dismounted patrol was hit by an improvised explosive device. McFarlane was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 15th Field Artillery Regiment, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), from Fort Drum, N.Y.

10. Cpl. Joseph E. Fite, 23, of Round Rock, Texas, died Jan. 9 as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to the Marine Forces Reserve’s 1st Battalion, 23rd Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Austin, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
They died Jan. 10 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device hit their military vehicle. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Battalion, 156th Infantry Regiment, 256th Infantry Brigade, Lake Charles, La.
Killed were:
11. Staff Sgt. William F. Manuel, 34, of Kinder, La.
12. Sgt. Robert W. Sweeney III, 22, of Pineville, La.

13. Spc. Michael J. Smith, 24, of Media, Penn., died Jan. 11 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, when his military vehicle was hit by a rocket propelled grenade. Smith was assigned to 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry, 2d Infantry Division, Camp Casey, Korea.

15. Sgt. 1st Class Brian A. Mack, 36, of Phoenix, Ariz., died Jan. 13 in Mosul, Iraq, when his military vehicle was hit by an improvised explosive device. Mack was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 21st Infantry Regiment, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
16. Lance Cpl. Matthew W. Holloway, 21, of Fulton, Texas.
17. Lance Cpl. Juan R. Rodriguez Velasco, 23, of El Cenizo, Texas.
Both Marines died Jan. 13 from injuries received as a result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Both Marines were assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 1st Battalion, 23rd Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Corpus Christi, Texas.

18. Pfc. Gunnar D. Becker, 19, of Forestburg, S.D., died Jan. 13 in Mosul, Iraq, of non-combat related injuries. Becker was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 63rd Armor Regiment, 1st Infantry Division, Vilseck, Germany.
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Remember that for every soldier killed in modern war, 10 are wounded. Don't forget to pray for them and their families.
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Join the Delta Diamondbacks 24-hour prayer team sponsored by First Baptist Church of McNeill by calling Debi Scott at 695-3403.
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War Prayer list for those in harms way.(12/24)

Remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families. Our own Delta Diamond Backs, local national guard personnel are now patrolling Bagdad. They are part of the 1st Cavalry Division's, 39th Infantry Brigade.

Please update us when you know of someone who comes home (or is activated for service.)

Command Sergeant Major Tom Broom - U.S. Army - Kuwait
Kyle Burleston - U.S. Marines - Iraq
Jim Carrol - U.S. Navy Intelligence
Greg Davis - U.S. Army - Bagdad - Mark Davis's oldest son. Greg has two children; Jhett,
12 and Baily 3
Lang Doster - National Guard - Iraq - Angel Cranston's Brother
Sgt. Douglas E. Chappel - Kuwait
Alaina Downey - USAF - Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri - Steve Downey's daughter
Michael Drake - U.S. Navy - Persian Gulf
Lisa Dyson - U.S. Army Intelligence - Johnny Dyson's daughter
Jeremy Lee Eades U.S. Army - Roger and Jerri Eades son.
John Ford - U.S. Army Korea - Steve and Sharon Ford's son
Dickie Hartsfield's son - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Warren Haynie from Lewisville - Serving in Iraq
Matthew Johnson - Marines
Robby Johnson - USAF C-130 Crew Chief
Brennan Jones - U S Marines - Iraq
James A.Jones - US Navy
Pat Keister - USMC -
Terris Lyons - National Guard - Back home in Minden
Mick McDaniel - U.S. Air Force, unknown location - Richard Matherne's son-in-law
David Mitchell - U.S. Army - In Bagdad
Opheline Moore - USArmy -
Brian Morgan - US Navy - in the Gulf somewhere
C.H. Osman - CAPT USN - Pentagon
Andrew Paladino - US Army SRA - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Nick Paladino - US Army Ssgt - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boy
Bob Polk - Kuwait
Todd Raymond - USAF - Germany - Another MCC young man.
Bryan Ross - Wayne Specie Roy and Loretta Specie's
Jason Varner Deployed to an unknown Location Roy and Loretta Specie's
Lloyd Young - USMC - North Carolina - Cindy Martin's son
Please let us know of any updates to this list. James F.McClellan - KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com Also, at kvma.Com they have a list of people over seas.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m.Monday - Friday.At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m.Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m.Union Street Station.And YOU'RE invited.Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second.Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program.For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there, especially in January when we've got the program. Here's our list of January speakers; January 18 - - Eric Williams, January 25 - - Gary McKinnie.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 5:24-29 Jer 1:1, 4-8 Acts 25:7-9 John 18:21-23 Luke 22:25-27
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Daphne Robert’s “Money Tree” breakfast and more photos of Jim Bussey’s birthday party.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
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