Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Bear Warnings

Hello ALL,

Josiah is 11 months old today.

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"The importance of proper instruction before using a new appliance" or "The Evil Waterpik"
I had a checkup at the dentist this week and my super DH, Ann, told me "Get a Waterpik orelse." I'm not sure what all "orelse" includes, but I went on down to Wal-Mart and bought one of those new, self-contained, hand held Waterpiks.

Actually, I was sort of looking forward to using it. I mean, your mouth really feels clean after you come out of the Dentist office after someone like Ann has been scrubbing your teeth and rinsing between them with the water gun.

Of course, like most things in life, we could have used a little operator training before our first meeting with the home version. To save our readers some potential grief, let us share what we learned the first morning we tried this device out.

1. DON'T ever fill the Waterpik with ice water. Well, it wasn't really ice water, it was just tap water, but we forgot that it was a relatively cool morning and the water that we filled our Waterpik with was on the cold side. We discovered the importance of water temperature when we placed the spray nozzle up above that right rear molar and pressed the button, instantly driving a gallon or so of FREEZING water into our gums, tooth roots and sinus cavities. After letting out a blood-curdling scream (well more of a blood curdling gurgle) we flopped around the bathroom for a few minutes until the tooth, jaw and our head stopped THROBBING.

2. If you follow the limited instructions that come with the device, you'll drown. Let me quote step four, "Recommended use" "Place tip of nozzle between teeth at the base of the gum and turn the Waterpik on. Hold it there for five seconds per tooth." This gizmo pumps about a gallon of water a second. There's no way on earth your gonna be able to hold that thing between two teeth for five seconds. Not and continue to breath air.

3. Don't dress before using the Waterpik. See #2 above. When you use this thing, there's more water coming out of your mouth than will flow out of the fire hose nozzle at the East Plant. It goes everywhere, especially down the front of your body but also splashing around the bathroom.

Now that you've been properly educated, we encourage you to go out and get a Waterpik. After all, "Misery loves company."

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The girls at Central Health Therapy sprang the "Rubber Band" on me this week. This innocent looking piece of rubber is designed to finish tearing any connective tissues left in your shoulder. As they explained it, you tie about three knots in one end of the rubber strap, then put that against the doorframe and shut the door. Once the rubber strap is secure, you can use the free end to rip muscle and tendon fiber away from your bone structure by performing the "exercises" on the sheet they send with the rubber band.

One item of caution here, be sure to tell your mate what your doing. That might prevent them from opening the door to see what you are doing. Of course, then they will roll on the floor and laugh at the red whelp the band left on your face when it snapped out of the opening door.

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Annette has started another round of C-Spine injections at Springhill Hospital in North Little Rock. Dr. Ackerman's last series three years ago, keep her free of the pain of a herniated disk longer than expected. She's headed to Texarkana Monday for some tests on another area. Your prayers are appreciated.

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Randy Lann commiserated with us that getting older is no fun when your health tries to go south even faster. He's have been on the Channel 7 twelve week work out program. Their team is winning, by a lot. Randy say "If you see the program, I'm the small one in the bunch. I've lost 33 pounds and fill better than I have felt in years. I never thought I would work out at lunch and walk two hours at night and enjoy it."

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Albemarle Magnolia has just gone one year (365 days) without a recordable injury. This is a Magnolia record! This accomplishment couldn't have been achieved without everyone's personal dedication to safety excellence. The tough part is to stay FOCUSED during the holiday season. Continue to use SCAN, and look for all potential hazards before doing any job, or task. Our 2004 goal was to not have a recordable injury this year. Our latest short-term goal was to complete the 4th quarter of the year without a recordable injury. Joe Bossier has promised a big celebration when we meet these goals. Stay safe, and congratulations for a job well done.

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We extend our sincere sympathy to "Rocky" Roberson's family - Rocky passed away Monday evening in Little Rock. Many of you remember him working in the Lab before going out on disability in 1998.

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"Two's Company, Three's a Crowd:

Can H2S Be the Third Endogenous Gaseous Transmitter?" R. Wang, FASEB Journal, vol. 16, no. 13, November 2002, pp. 1792-8. The author, who is at the University of Saskatchewan, explains that:

Bearing the public image of a deadly "gas of rotten eggs," hydrogen sulfide (H2S) can be generated in many types of mammalian cells. ... The endogenous metabolism and physiological functions of H2S position this gas well in the novel family of endogenous gaseous transmitters, termed "gasotransmitters." It is hypothesized that H2S is the third endogenous signaling gasotransmitter, besides nitric oxide and carbon monoxide. This positioning of H2S will open an exciting field...

Meaning, in short, this gas can kill you, but you may well need it for your body to function properly.

Thanks to Joe Tudor for explaining that the odor associated with "breaking wind" is vital to our health.

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Leonid Meteor Shower 2004 - -

http://sponsors.eproof.com?s=18&g=http%3A//www.space.com/spacewatch/041112-leonid-met eors - - This week brings us the return of the famous Leonid Meteor Shower, a meteor display that over the past several years has brought great anticipation and excitement to sky watchers around the world. How Meteor Showers Work - - http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/solarsystem/meteors-ez.html.

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LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - Top Clinton administration officials, both Presidents Bush, rock stars and ordinary admirers of Bill Clinton turned out Thursday to pay homage to "a man of compassion" at the opening of the Clinton Presidential Center.

An estimated 30,000 guests (including a bunch from Magnolia) were on hand for the dedication of the $165 million glass-and-steel home of artifacts and documents gathered during Clinton's eight years in the White House.

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Did you notice that the TV networks are using "Saving Private Ryan" as a plea to ease up on the calls for censorship of vulgar material on TV. Several markets didn't air SPR because they "feared" fines by the FCC for airing adult oriented material.

I read this as a blatant attempt to turn public opinion away from TV decency and back to a more lenient attitude.

I agree that SPR isn't made for kids and family viewing. In fact, I'm not sure that all adults need to see it. But airing a war movie is a far cry from nudity during a national football game or, as ABC did this week, airing a provocative promo involving nudity from the back during the Monday night football game.

It's really not that hard. If the New York TV executives don't get it, they should just ask someone from the "Red" states what's offensive.

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In case you were in a coma and didn't hear about it, here's the lowdown on the Monday Night Football incident ... NEW YORK (AP) - ABC apologized Tuesday for a steamy intro to "Monday Night Football" after receiving complaints from viewers and the National Football League. The spot featured a naked Nicollette Sheridan jumping into the arms of Philadelphia Eagles star Terrell Owens.

Before the game, ABC showed Owens and Sheridan in an empty locker room in an attempt to spoof the network hit "Desperate Housewives." Sheridan, who stars in the show, was wearing only a towel and provocatively asked Owens to skip the game for her.

After she dropped her towel, he agreed to be late for the contest and hugged her. Then the shot panned out to two more stars of "Desperate Housewives," Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman, watching the scene unfold on a television and commenting on desperate women.

"We have heard from many of our viewers about last night's 'MNF' opening segment and we agree that the placement was inappropriate," ABC said in a statement. "We apologize."

The NFL called the intro "inappropriate and unsuitable for our 'Monday Night Football' audience."

"While ABC may have gained attention for one of its other shows, the NFL and its fans lost," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.

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The Angel Tree will be set up in the Hospitality House, located at 100 Meadowbrook Lane, weekdays beginning November 22nd, from 8:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Individuals, businesses and organizations are encouraged to come by and select an "angel" from the tree. Each "angel" tag will include the name, sex, and age of a child, and some items from his or her "wish list”. A limit of three packages per child is suggested. Should you wish to do more, additional "angels" may be selected. Donations will be accepted from those who are unable to shop.

Wrapped gifts should be returned to the Hospitality House before December 10th for timely distribution.

For more information, please call the Magnolia Housing Authority at 234-5540.

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People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes

People who do less work... make less mistakes

People who do no work... make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes... get promoted

That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work I need a promotion.

Thanks to Trina Montgomery

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Second Chance: due to demand, I've been able to get an additional supply of pecans. Premium Pecan Halves Springhill High School Softball Team's Fund-raiser $6 per bag Contact Brett Wideman at 235-6592 to get yours Note: I bought some today and they are great.

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Bobbie, Dustin, Zac, Tevin, Dalecia and I went to see "The Incredibles" last Saturday. It was

still entertaining to me the second time. Dustin said “It was fun.”

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Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com

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We're sharing some items from the November 17, 2000 "Bleat" this week. One of them is my thoughts on accidentally offending people. I wrote to one of my contributors who had gotten some "hate mail" because of a joke he sent out;

"Please don't be discouraged. Remember the 100 to 1 rule. You'll hear from the 1 guy who's irritated instead of the 100 who're happy. I got a smile out of "Their Little Secret!" It wasn't a belly buster, but I smiled.

I take your humor, along with others and resend it out (with credit) in my weekly newsletter. And I'm careful to review the humor in an effort to avoid offending anyone.

The only problem is that funny things are almost always offensive to someone, sometime. I strive to never allow any sexual or racial jokes in my newsletter, but with a host of people sending me jokes and, in spite of being careful, there's occasionally some stuff that is offensive to someone.

Also, sometimes there's some stuff that's just too funny not to send.

Even when I know that someone is not going to like it.

I'm always hurt when someone unsubscribe, but it happens. Each time, I try to weigh my efforts and see if I've done something wrong. If I have, I try to correct it. If I haven't, I shake the dust off my feet and start on next weeks newsletter."

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Along those same lines, we had "Diversity" training at work today. (We also had sexual harassment training. I passed both courses so I guess I'm now qualified to sexually harass a diverse group of people.)

Even though we scoff a the need for such training, the truth is that we could all use a little more Emily Post in our lives. Many of us (me included) wander through life like a bull in a China Closet, breaking things and offending people without even realizing it.

When we lived in what were basically small tribal groups (like I was raised in) it's easy to learn what's permissible and what's not. If you cross the line, you parents or an aunt or uncle or older cousin will explain it to you.

However, we live in a global economy with people coming in and out of our sphere of influence at a moment's notice. It's no longer acceptable to say that "they can lump it if they don't like it."

We lose too many potential friends and contacts that way. It's our duty to learn the MORES of our acquaintances and try not to step on them.

Just tonight, I met a vegetarian. I could have offered to get him a big Mac, but I didn't. Instead, I went home and fixed him a mess of turnip greens (well, I heated them up) and a plate of hot water corn bread.

It doesn't hurt to bend a little. Like they taught us as kids, "The tree that bends, seldom breaks."

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The world keeps getting smaller

** Superfast NASA jet pushes Mach 10 ** The US space agency flies its X-43A hypersonic jet to a speed in excess of nine times the speed of sound. <>

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Did you know you can order digital photos printed online at walmart.com and then pick them up at the store the same day. (Like an hour later.)

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Which comes first? The Chicken or the egg? Are we obese because we sleep less? or Are we sleep deprived because we're obese?

Study Links Sleep Deprivation, Obesity

Nov 16, 2:43 PM (ET)

By MARILYNN MARCHIONE

LAS VEGAS (AP) - Weight-loss experts have a novel prescription for people who want to shed pounds: Get some sleep.

A very large study has found a surprisingly strong link between the amount of shut-eye people get and their risk of becoming obese.

Those who got less than four hours of sleep a night were 73 percent more likely to be obese than those who got the recommended seven to nine hours of rest, scientists discovered. Those who averaged five hours of sleep had 50 percent greater risk, and those who got six hours had 23 percent more.

"Maybe there's a window of opportunity for helping people sleep more, and maybe that would help their weight," said Dr. Steven Heymsfield of Columbia University and St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital in New York.

He and James Gangwisch, a Columbia epidemiologist, led the study and are presenting results this week at a meeting of the North American Association for the Study of Obesity.

They used information on about 18,000 adults participating in the federal government's National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, or NHANES, throughout the 1980s. The survey includes long-term follow-up information on health habits, and researchers adjusted it to take into account other things that affect the odds of obesity, like exercise habits, so that the effects of sleep could be isolated.

It seems "somewhat counterintuitive" that sleeping more would prevent obesity because people burn fewer calories when they're resting, Gangwisch said.

But they also eat when they're awake, and the effect of chronic sleep deprivation on the body's food-seeking circuitry is what specialists think may be making the difference in obesity risks.

"There's growing scientific evidence that there's a link between sleep and the various neural pathways that regulate food intake," Heymsfield said.

Sleep deprivation lowers leptin, a blood protein that suppresses appetite and seems to affect how the brain senses when the body has had enough food. Sleep deprivation also raises levels of grehlin, a substance that makes people want to eat.

It also hurts "executive function" - the ability to make clear decisions, said Dr. Philip Eichling, a sleep and weight-loss specialist at the

University of Arizona who also is medical director of the Canyon Ranch, a spa in Tucson that offers health and weight management programs, especially for business executives.

"One of my treatments is to tell them they should move from six hours to seven hours of sleep. When they're less sleepy, they're less hungry," he said.

Eichling had no role in the new study but said it gives important evidence for a long-suspected theory in the field. Americans average only a little more than six hours of sleep a night, and one report a few years ago even suggested that the growing prevalence of sleep deprivation might be responsible for the growing obesity epidemic, he said.

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The Angel Tree program has outgrown the Housing Authority's office staff so they are looking for volunteers to help with this program.

This community service needs groups (organization, sorority, fraternity, adult Sunday school class, etc.) or individuals to "sit with the tree" during the Angel pick up, gift return and delivery time periods. If you have a couple of hours, a half-day or a whole day, please contact Lisa Howell at the Housing Authority - 234-5540. Time frames are weekdays - 8:00 till 4:30 - November 22 thru November 24; November 29 thru December 13. Angel opportunities available:

Wrapping gifts

Shopping for a child

Assisting those by phone who wish to select an Angel

Publicity

Fund-raising

Checking in returned gifts

Assisting those returning heavy items such as bikes

Bagging and organizing gifts by family to prepare for delivery

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Please don't forget Operation Christmas Child, a project of Samaritan's Purse, is an international Christian relief organization headed by Franklin Graham. The organization collects gift filled shoeboxes and delivers them world wide to children living in desperate situations. In 1999, 3,107,052 shoeboxes were collected and delivered internationally. Of these, 16,276 were collected in our area's collection center. This year they are projecting and preparing to distribute 4 million boxes in more than 60 countries.

Each box brings tokens of love and promises of hope to poor but eager children. Won't you be a part of making some child's Christmas?.

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SAFE & SOUND IN THE CYBER AGE: FEDS TO THE RESCUE?

[by Stephen Cobb and Chey Cobb]

Feds to the Rescue? Don't Hold Your Breath

First the bad news. If you were hoping that the threat of organized cybercrime would turn out to be something that we information security experts invented to drum up business, the time has come to stop hoping. International gangs of cyber-criminals do exist, as evidenced by the arrests announced recently by the U.S. Secret Service, which hauled in 28 people for alleged involvement in a global organized cybercrime ring (see NewsScan, 29 October 2004).

According to the financial institutions victimized by this criminal enterprise, it netted more than $4.3 million. The suspects, who come from six different countries in North America and Europe, are alleged to have trafficked "in at least 1.7 million stolen credit card numbers." According to Secret Service Director W. Ralph Basham, "These suspects targeted the personal and financial information of ordinary citizens, as well as the confidential and proprietary information of companies engaged in e-commerce." According to ComputerWorld, where Mr. Basham was quoted, the suspects operated Web sites that were used to buy and sell counterfeit credit cards and false identification documents, and also share information on how to commit fraud, trade in stolen information, and operate the tools needed to commit such crimes.

We realize that the world today is full of big numbers, so if $4.3 million doesn't strike you as a lot of money, bear in mind that this is just one bust of a few dozen felons. There are strong indications that hundreds, if not thousands, of criminals are getting in on the cybercrime wave. And there is little doubt that banks in the U.S. and Europe have lost several billions of dollars over the last twelve months to just one form of cybercrime: phishing (see Newsscan, 1 May 2003). A few months ago Gartner put the direct losses from phishing, that is, money fraudulently removed from people's account, at over $2.4 billion, and sources in the UK cite losses of similar magnitude.

So what's the good news? We don't think there is any, despite the admirable work of the Secret Service (assisted in this case by the U.K.'s National Hi-Tech Crimes Unit, the Vancouver Police Department's Financial Crimes Section, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Europol). Sadly, as hard as the fine officers of these agencies work, they are hardly making a dent in the problem (see the lead story in NewsScan Daily, 20 September 2004, for more on the scale of organized cybercrime).

One reason for this lack of progress is undoubtedly the lack of government investment in basic cyber security research. Given the huge negative impact of cybercrimes on both U.S. citizens and U.S. financial institutions, you might expect the federal government to be pouring money into improving computer security. Sadly, according to experts in the field, the amount of federal funding for basic cyber security research is currently less than $50 million a year (by comparison, the government recently contributed $50 million to the building a rainforest in Iowa).

Some say this disturbing situation was highlighted by the October resignation of Amit Yoran after just one year as director of the National Cyber Security Division of the Department of Homeland Security. This follows two previous high profile departures from the top cyber security post in less than two years (by Howard Schmidt and Richard Clarke respectively). Observers have cited a lack of funding as a major factor in all three resignations.

One person who is very much in touch with this situation is Dr. Eugene Spafford, the executive director of the Center for Education and Research in Information Assurance and Security (CERIAS). Speaking at the Information Security Decisions conference in Chicago last month, Dr. Spafford surprised the audience of 500 information security practitioners with a multiple choice question: How much do you think the federal government is spending each year on basic computer security research? The responses, quickly tabulated by a very clever electronic audience feedback system, showed that most people assumed the government was spending a lot more than it really is.

Always keen to give NewsScan readers the most accurate data, Stephen asked Dr. Spafford for clarification. After all, you might recall, as we did, the Cyber Security Research and Development Act of December, 2002, in which the President authorized up to $903 million in cyber security research funds and fellowship opportunities at NSF and the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST), from 2003 through 2007. So how could spending be less than $50 million per year?

Sadly, replied Dr. Spafford, "Authorization is not appropriation... The authorization simply says that if the money is available to NSF, they can spend it. No additional money was actually appropriated." For readers interested in learning more, a report on cybersecurity research funding is due soon from PITAC, the President s Information Technology Advisory Committee,. It should show up here: http://www.itrd.gov/pitac/index.html. If that report does not bear good news, you might want to contact your congresspersons, whomever they now may be.

[Chey Cobb, CISSP, the author of "Network Security for Dummies," is a former senior technical security advisor to the NRO. Her email address is chey at soteira dot org. Stephen Cobb, CISSP, is the author of "Privacy for Business" and the Chief Security Executive at STSN. He can be reached as scobb at cobb dot com.]

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www.aaa.com. Regular Mid Premium Diesel

Current Avg. $1.94 $2.06 $2.14 $2.16

http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/

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I saw this one while putting "Da Bleat" to bed.

Sweet Potato-Bacon Biscuits Recipe courtesy Emeril Lagasse, 2003

See this recipe on air Sunday Nov. 21 at 8:00 PM ET/PT.

Show: Emeril Live Episode: Emeril's Thanksgiving with Our Troops

Difficulty: Medium

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 18 minutes

Yield: 10 servings

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 ½ teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1 cup mashed cooked sweet potatoes, cooled

2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar

5 slices cooked bacon, drained and crumbled

3/4 to 1 cup buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Lightly grease a large baking sheet and set aside.

In a bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the butter and work in with a pastry blender or your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

In a bowl, whip the sweet potatoes with the brown sugar until very smooth. Add to the flour mixture and mix in lightly but thoroughly with your fingers. Add 3/4 cup of the buttermilk and the bacon and gently work to make a smooth dough, slightly sticky, being careful not to overwork and adding more liquid as needed 1 teaspoon at a time.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and pat out into a large rectangle about ½-inch thick. Cut into 10 large biscuits and place on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until golden brown and risen, 15 to 18 minutes.

Remove from the oven and serve hot with butter.

http://www.foodnetwork.com

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BREAKPOINT Commentaries

by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship

Following Our Noses

A Nobel for Smell

November 19, 2004

The nose is smarter than we thought. In fact, it just won two Americans a Nobel Prize.

Researchers Richard Axel of New York and Linda Buck of Seattle were chosen to receive this year's Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. Their citation says "for their discoveries of odorant receptors and the organization of the olfactory system." Stated more simply, they discovered important details of "how we smell" how we detect odors via receptors in the nose and information processing in the brain and nervous system.

The press release points out the sometimes life-or-death importance of the sense of smell.

Newborn pups use it to locate their mothers' milk glands. Humans use odors "to identify suitable food and to avoid putrid or unfit foodstuff." Mosquitoes locate humans by detecting our odors, so the new research may someday prevent mosquito bites and malaria.

Nobel judge Professor Sten Grillner commented, "Until Axel and Buck's studies, the sense of smell was a mystery." This year's laureates researched details of, in Axel's words, "how the brain knows what the nose is smelling," how it equips organisms "to detect food, predators, and mates." For two scientists, acting alone, to map one of the major human senses, from molecular to cellular level, is unique in the history of science.

A "diverse repertoire of odorous molecules" excite some of the five million receptor cells in the nasal cavity. These cells generate coded electrical signals and send them to the brain.

Ms. Buck adds an ironic observation: "You might have a rose and a skunk being recognized by some of the same receptors." But the brain deciphers those signals and goes on to distinguish ten thousand separate and distinct odors.

Previous Nobel laureates have researched other senses and found equally stunning complexity. In 1981, laureates David Hubel and Torsten Wiesel investigated the sense of sight. They discovered nerve cells that adjust contrast, detect motion, and perform numerous specialized functions. To explain how the brain makes sense of signals from the retina, their work uses the analogy, " . . . as if certain cells read the simple letters in the message and compile them into syllables that are subsequently read by other cells, which, in turn, compile the syllables into words, and these are finally read by other cells that compile words into sentences" which proceed to the brain, where the visual impression originates.

Nearly a century and a half ago, Charles Darwin conceded, "To suppose that the eye with all its inimitable contrivances for adjusting the focus to different distances, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of spherical and chromatic aberration, could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree." He wrote botanist Asa Gray, "The eye to this day gives me a cold shudder." And Darwin didn't know nearly as much as we do about the sophistication of the signal processing from the eye and the nose.

All of this leads to a logical closing question: If researchers earn Nobel Prizes for discovering such intricacies in our sensory organs, doesn't the Intelligent Designer of all of this intricacy deserve some recognition?

For further reading and information:

Visit the Nobel web page for the 2004 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine .

See the press release for the 2004 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

Richard Axel, " Scents and Sensibility: Towards a Molecular Logic of Perception ," a lecture at Columbia University, 13 May 2004 . ( Adobe Acrobat Reader required.)

Stephen Jones, " The eye: Darwin's 'cold shudder' ," 7 February 1998 . See Darwin's letter to Gray .

"Richard Axel and Linda Buck Awarded 2004 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine ," Medical

News Today, 25 October 2004 .

Nick Klagge, " Richard Axel Sniffs Out Nobel Prize ," ColumbiaSpectator, 5 October 2004 .

"Sci/Tech: Dr. Richard Axel & Linda Buck win Nobel Prize in Medicine ," Boredguru.com, 5 October 2004 .

"Sensing Smell ," Howard Hughes Medical Institute.

See the research abstract of " Representations of Olfactory Information in the Brain " provided by the Howard Hughes Medical Institute.

Visit BreakPoint's intelligent design information page .

See Chuck Colson's Ten Questions about Origins .

Lee Strobel, The Case for a Creator (Zondervan, 2004).

The new DVD/video"The Privileged Planet" is a useful resource for students and teachers in learning about the evidence of design in the universe.

Copyright 2004 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BREAKPOINT with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries. Prison Fellowship Ministries may withdraw or modify this grant of permission at any time. To receive "BREAKPOINT" commentaries daily, you can subscribe for free at http://www. breakpoint. org/.

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Words of the Week:

discomfit: to disconcert; also, to thwart.

intrepid: fearless; bold.

chortle: to utter, or express with, a snorting, exultant laugh or chuckle.

louche: of questionable taste or morality.

supplant: to take the place of.

clerisy: the intelligentsia.

denouement: the final resolution of the main complication of a literary or dramatic work.

from Dictionary.Com

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"Man is by nature a political animal." - Aristotle

"Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again." - Andre Gide

"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I have done it a thousand times." - Mark Twain

"Freedom of the press is not an end in itself but a means to the end of [achieving] a free society." - Felix Frankfurter

"Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman." - Louis D. Brandeis

"Virtue cannot separate itself from reality without becoming a principle of evil." - Albert Camus

"Neutrality is at times a graver sin than belligerence." - Louis D. Brandeis

"During my eighty-seven years I have witnessed a whole succession of technological revolutions. But none of them has done away with the need for character in the individual or the ability to think." - Bernard Baruch

~~~~~

FLASH CARD "Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite -- getting something down." (Julia Cameron)

*****

FLASH CARD "Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this -- no dog exchanges bones with another." (Adam Smith)

*****

FLASH CARD "Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd have frozen to death." (Mark Twain)

*****

FLASH CARD "Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." (Robert Heinlein)

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

GCF: Bear Warnings

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom

To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:

andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.

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While vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in campgrounds, visitor centers and rest areas advising people not to feed the bears, how to avoid bears, what to do if a bear sees you, what to do if a bear attacks, and so on.

My favorite, however, was a hand-lettered sign on the door of a small gas station in a remote area. It said: "Warning! If you are being chased by a bear, don't come in here!"

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GCF: Previous Employment

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom

To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:

andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com

--------------------------------

I work in a personnel office with the government in Washington, DC, reviewing applications for federal employment.

The standard form includes the question, "Why did you leave your previous employment?"

One applicant, a former U.S. Congressman, responded, "The express wish of 116,000 voters."

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GCF: Getting Older

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom

-----------------------------------

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

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GCF: Divy It Up!

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

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A 6th grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"

After a very long silence in the classroom, one little boy raised his hand and with complete sincerity in his voice, answered, "A lawyer!"

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GCF: Hesitant Driver

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps-the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com

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A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came to a complete stop on the freeway on-ramp.

The traffic thinned, but the driver still waited. Finally a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried, "Hey, fellow! The sign says 'Yield,' not 'surrender!'"

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\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////

\ / How do you tell when you \ /

\ -/ run out of invisible ink? \- /

/ / \ \

\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////

\ / Don't cry because its over; \ /

\ -/ smile because it happened. \- /

/ / \ \

\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////

\ / If you're going to draw on the \ /

\ -/ wall, do it behind the couch.

\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////

\\\\ \-/ / Real friends are those who, \ \-/ ////

\ / when you feel you've made a \ /

\ -/ fool of yourself, don't think \- /

/ / you've done a permanent job. \ \

\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ////

\ / Birthdays are good for you; \ /

\ -/ the more you have, \- /

/ / the longer you live. \ \

/ / \ \

\\\\ \-/ / \ \-/ ///// / \ \

/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \

/ / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ \

-( (- | http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor | -) )-

(((\ \>|-/ )---------------------( \-|

*** Good Clean Fun ***

Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/

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[GCFL.net] Nuns Out Of Gas

Two nuns who worked in a hospital were out driving in the country when they ran out of gas. As they were standing beside their car on the shoulder of the road, a truck approached them.

Noticing the nuns in distress, the trucker stopped and offered to help. When the nuns explained they had run out of gas, the trucker said he would be more than happy to drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or a can.

Hearing this, one of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan from the trunk and asked the trucker if it would do. He said it would and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts into the pan. He then handed the pan to the sisters, got back into his truck and waved goodbye.

While the nuns were carefully pouring the precious fuel into their gas tank, a cop happened by. He stopped and watched them for a few moments, then said, "Sisters, somehow I don't think that's going to work, but I sure do admire your faith!"

Received from Clean Laffs.

-=+=-

[GCFL.net] Frog Noise

A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "No."

The little boy goes on, "Please...please make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."

The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."

So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother 'no' and I'm telling you 'no'."

The little girl says, "Please...please Grandpa make a frog noise."

The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"

The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"

Received from Laffaday.

-=+=-

[GCFL.net] Job Interview

Jennifer had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

"Pretty good, I think," replied Jennifer, "but if I go to work there I won't get a vacation until I'm married."

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what they told you?"

"No," replied Jennifer, "but right on the application it said 'vacation time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"

Received from Clean Laffs.

-=+=-

[GCFL.net] Fresh Fruit

A picky customer comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit. "Give me two kilograms of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper, please," he says to the saleswoman. She does.

"And three kilograms of cherries, please, and wrap up every one in a separate piece of paper, too." She does.

"And what is that there," he asks pointing out a bushel in the corner. "Raisins," says the saleswoman, "but they are not for sale!"

Received from Clean Laffs.

-=+=-

[GCFL.net] Plants Don't Like Mom

No matter how hard my mom tries, every plant or flower she has attempted to grow seems to wither and die an untimely death under her care. But she never gives up hope.

While she was visiting home recently, my sister nudged me and pointed to a line of new plants placed by the kitchen window. "Look," she whispered, "death row."

Received from Clean Laffs.

-=+=-

Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List: Good, clean funnies five times a week, for free . . .AND NO ADS! The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/archive/latest.php

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NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!

ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. Sign up early and get a discount on registration. The course covers two days, and topics in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation.

TOILET ROLLS-DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SLIVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other-Help line and support groups.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming Open Forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play.

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation.

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did.

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation.

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing.

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing tecniques.

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class.

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available.

Thanks to Norma

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I know this is an old one, but it's still funny.

A burglar broke into an empty house in the middle of the night. He had taken just a few steps when he heard a voice boom out in the darkness, saying, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, waited a few minutes, when he heard nothing else he began tiptoeing forward only to hear "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!" again. He froze and began looking frantically around to see who had said that.

Finally, over in a dark corner he spotted a bird cage and in the bird cage was a parrot. He said to the parrot, "Did you say 'Jesus is watching you' just now?"

The parrot said, "Yes, I did."

The burglar said, "What is your name?"

The parrot answered, "Clarence"

The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."

Thanks to Laugh A Lot! member Bobby Ruff for today's joke.

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"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." -Dorothy Parker

"Well if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?" -James Thurber

"Life is a zoo in a jungle." -Peter DeVries

"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?" -Jean Cocteau

"Hollywood -- a place where the inmates are in charge of the asylum." -Laurence Stallings

"One of the most obvious facts about grown-ups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." -Randall Jarrell

"The world is divided into people who do things - and people who get the credit." -Dwight Morrow

"No man is ever old enough to know better." -Holbrook Jackson

"Old age is always 15 years older than I am." -Bernard Baruch

"History is an endless repetition of the wrong way of living." -Lawrence Durrell

"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose." -Winston Churchill

Thanks to Laugh A Lot! member Randy Walker for compiling these quotes.

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Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.

One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

Thanks to Laugh A Lot! member David Rinke for today's joke.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A blind man and his seeing-eye dog went into a department store. Suddenly, the man grabbed the dog by the tail and started swinging it 'round and 'round in the air above his head.

A clerk in the store saw this and rushed over to the man.

"What are you doing?" the clerk gasped.

"Oh, just looking around," said the blind man.

Thanks to Laugh A Lot member Cadre Griffin for today's joke.

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TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH

10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians ... and you check the table of contents.

9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.

8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.

7) Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is Hercules.

6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in Psalms.

5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the concordance or the table of contents.

4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"

3) You think the minor prophets worked in the quarries.

2) You keep falling for it every time when pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.

And the No. 1 sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:

1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors"

Thanks to Laugh A Lot member Randy Walker for today's joke.

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A little boy is at school one day and while he is gone, his cat dies.

His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. When he arrives home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now."

To which the boy replied, "What's God gonna do with a dead cat?"

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ARE YOU FEELING OLD?

If not, consider this:

This fall's college freshman class was born after 1980.

** The Iranian hostage crisis occurred before they were conceived.

** They have no memory of a time before MTV.

** "New Wave" is their parents' musical generation.

** They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era.

** They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

** If they have heard the name "Oliver North," it was probably as a losing congressional candidate or perhaps in some obscure survey history text's reference, such as might be made to Huey Long or Teapot Dome.

** Black Monday 1987 is as insignificant to them as the Great Depression.

** Their world has always included AIDS.

** Having not lived through the Disco Scare, they can romanticize the 1970s.

** They see "Family Ties" as something middle-aged ladies watch.

** Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums and cassette audiotapes.

** From their earliest years, a camera was something you used once and threw away.

** The oil crisis is history of which they probably know nothing -- and why anyone wouldn't buy a suburban is beyond them.

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THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout -- run right back and make friends.

Bond with your pack.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

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If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check out some of the notes from their parents. The following are actual excuse notes received by teachers:

** Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28,29,30,31,32, and also 33.

** Please excuse Rowland from P.E. for a few days, Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

** John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

** Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.

** Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

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The presidential election in limbo has created fodder for late-night talk show hosts. Here's a sampling of recent jokes:

**"Controversy over the double-punched ballots in Florida. Election officials become concerned old folks were punching too many holes in the ballots when they heard people shout, 'Bingo!'" Craig Kilborn

**"The No. 3 way the United States would be different without a president: Entire country would operate as inefficiently as the state of Florida." David Letterman, from the Late Show's Top 10 List

**"It was reported today that the television ratings on election night were the highest in 40 years. The television networks were thrilled, and, as a result, they promised to incorrectly call the election from now on." Conan O'Brien

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HERE WE GO........

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (Pick between 2 and 9)

2. Multiply this number by 2.

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply that sum by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1750. If you haven't, add 1749.

6. Now, subtract the four digit year in which you were born.

You should now have a three digit number.

The first digit is your original number -- how many times you want to have chocolate each week.

The second two digits are your age.

THE YEAR 2000 IS THE ONLY YEAR THIS WILL WORK, SO PASS IT ALONG QUICKLY BEFORE THE YEAR ENDS!

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AND TODAY'S JOKE IS...

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?

Decomposing.

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THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor -- we're going to need a mop.

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that ... uh ... that uh ... thingie.

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Darn, there go the lights again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.

What's this doing here?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.

Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?

Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!

Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

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THE TOP 14 BIBLICAL WAYS TO GET A WIFE

From: "Loumu"

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you.- Adam (Gen 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes I [Ahasuerus] (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

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The Consequence of Complaining

A man was complaining:

Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so hard, meanwhile my wife stays at home, I would give anything if you would grant me one wish "switch me into my wife". She's got it easy at home I want to teach her a lesson of how tough a man's life is. As God was listening he felt sorry for this soul and granted his wish.

Next morning the "new woman" wakes up at dawn, makes lunch boxes, prepares breakfast, wakes up the kids for school, puts a load of clothes in the washer, takes the meat out of the freezer, drives the kids to school, on his way back stop at the gas station, cashes a check, pays the electricity and phone bills, picks up some clothes from the cleaners, quickly goes to the market.

It was 1: 00 o'clock already, he made the beds, took the clothes out of the washer and put another load in, he vacuumed the house, made some rice, went to pick up the kids from school had an argument with the kids. As soon as he got home he fed the kids, washed the dirty dishes, he hung the damp clothes he had washed on the chairs because it was raining outside.

He helped the kids with their homework, watched some TV while he ironed some clothes, prepared dinner, he gave the kids a bath and put them to sleep. At 9:00 o'clock he was so tired and he went to bed. Of course there was some more duties and some how he managed to get them done and finally fell a sleep. The next morning he prays to God once again: "Oh Lord, what was I thinking when I asked you to grant my wish, I can't take it anymore. I beg you please switch me back to myself, please oh please". Then he heard God's voice speaking to him, saying: Dear son of course I'll switch you back into yourself but there's one minor detail, you will have to wait 9 months because last night you got pregnant

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Bad Day

From: "Ben & Trina Montgomery"

This is an old old old old story which has never been told just this way. Who knows? Maybe this is the original.

~

True story from the Sweetwater Reporter Rattlesnake Roundup March 8, 1995, Sweetwater, Tx

Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.

A couple had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a lot of them indoors to protect then from a possible freeze. A little green snake was hidden in one of them and when it was sufficiently warmed up, it came slithering out and went under the sofa. The wife saw stand let out a big scream.

The husband was taking a shower but, when he heard his wife scream, ran naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out About that time the snake came out from the sofa. The EMS saw it and dropped the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake, so he armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone. The wife sat down on the sofa in relief.

But as her hand dangled in between the cushions, she felt the snake.

She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man tried to use his long forgotten CPR skills.

The neighbor's wife, who had been at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, an injury calling for hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint. She saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey and listened as the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

That put the woman and the snake right back in worse shape than they were in when the whole thing started. The snake was badly unnerved, As was the woman.

And you thought YOU had a bad day....

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Funny

From: "Rogers Family"

CHRISTMAS CARD

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror -- wearing nothing but a camera!

~~~

MY FOOTSTEPS?

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought my friend, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

~~~

A WISE LITTLE GIRL

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

~~~

TOO ROUGH

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

~~~

THUMB SUCKING

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying,

"Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."

~~~

SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

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GCF: Martha Stewart Thanksgiving (NOT!)

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:

1. Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

2. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

3. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

4. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

5. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

6. We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table ... in a separate room ... next door.

7. Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

8. I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.

9. Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of you diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

10. Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice among 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful.

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[GCFL] Revocation

From: GCFL

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminum". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how incorrectly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any [trouble]. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. [...]

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Received from Doug Taylor.

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Hostages

From: "cnlane1"

Florida hostages

We the People of Florida are holding this election hostage. When you promise to stop sending us your old people, we will release your election.

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From the Home Office in Wahoo,

Nebraska, it's the Top Ten List for

November 8, 2000

Top Ten Things Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission

10. "The first vote goes to Gore...call CNN and tell them Gore won."

9. "Wait, if my wet laundry is in the ballot box...oh my god! Stop the dryer!"

8. "If someone voted for 'the jerk,' do I give it to Gore or Bush?"

7. "Let's be extra careful, because every single vote counts...ha, ha, ha, ha, just kidding!"

6. "120... 121... 122! Yes! I'm the ballot-eating champion!"

5. "This is much easier than my last job designing tires for Firestone"

4. "America must never know Ralph Nader actually won the election"

3. "Discard all these votes for Bush -- they're obviously left over from 1992"

2. "I'm sure gonna miss you guys when this is over. If only there was a way to make it last a few more days..."

1. "Heads Bush... Tails Gore"

~~~

From the Home Office in Wahoo,

Nebraska, it's the Top Ten List for

November 9, 2000

Top Ten Ways The United States Would Be Different Without A President

10. Supreme Court justice selected by being 100th caller to Z-100

9. "Hail to the Chief" only played for winner of Pillsbury Bake-off

8. Instead of going to Iowa and New Hampshire every four years, no one would go to Iowa and New Hampshire ever

7. With no presidential fitness test, kids would be even fatter and lazier

6. White House interns would be reduced to having sex with each other

5. More time on news for banter between anchor and fat weatherman

4. The position of vice president would be even more insignificant

3. Entire country would operate as inefficiently as the state of Florida

2. Only her friends, family and an occasional guy from T.G.I. Friday's would know the name "Monica Lewinsky"

1. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would be the grandest Blockbuster Video ever

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You Make Me Laugh -

Little Encouragement

The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church.

An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible."

As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help.

"Please don't pay any attention to him, pastor. He only repeats what he hears others say."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Saintly Sons

Two mothers were talking about their sons.

The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years."

The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time."

"My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud."

"I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pick of the Crop

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden.

"I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pit Falls

This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was a mistake, because the gravediggers had just opened a new site, in preparations for a funeral early the next morning.

The unfortunate man took a headlong plunge into the deep pit. It began to rain, and the sides became slippery, besides being deep. Try as he may (and he did again and again) he could not climb out. Finally he resigned himself to wait for the caretakers the next morning, and he settled into a corner.

Just before dawn another man, who had been "out on the town" all night and who was definitely inebriated, stumbled into the same grave. He yelped and started trying his best to get back topside.

After a few attempts, this deep voice from the corner said, "It's no use. You can't get out!"

But he did...

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

High Tech Flying

The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight. The voice over the loudspeaker had just announced that the aircraft had reached its cruising altitude and that the passengers were free to unfasten their seatbelts and move about the cabin. Then the voice continued.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce that you are flying on the maiden voyage of one of our brand new fully- automated jetliners. These new jetliners are the pride of our fleet and have no need for pilot, co-pilot or navigator. All human error has been eliminated. You needn't be alarmed, as everything from the cabin pressure to the speed and altitude is completely controlled by our computer. We're excited about the world's first fully-automated airplane, and we hope you are, too. So just sit back and relax, and remember, nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong..."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

*Eye Laugh*

"Evil Fishevil"

http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw555

"Cat Skin"

http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw563

"Type B Chief"

http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw566

"Who Needs One?"

http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw569

"Country Life"

http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw570

Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2002 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.

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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone

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Safety From The Heart - November 15, 2004

Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Allen Smoak.

Safe Hunting Techniques

This incident happened when I was 14 years old. It made a lasting affect on my hunter safety awareness.

It was mid-November, when two of my friends and I decided to squirrel hunt one clear, sunny Saturday afternoon. A cool drizzle on Friday had damped the fallen leaves aiding our silent walk into the woods. We stalked our tree-bound prey, looking for a hickory or oak tree to make our stand. We scouted the leaves for cracked hickory nuts or broken acorns . . tell-tale signs of squirrel activity. The terrain was familiar . . . so we took up different areas to increase our chances for a successful hunt.

I was using a 12 gauge, double barrel shotgun . . . one I had hunted with on several occasions. We had arrived early that afternoon and it would be an hour or more before our grey, bushy-tailed targets would become active for their feeding. I used this time to relax and take in the clean, cool air. . .observed the bright yellow leaves of the hickory trees . . .the brown and rust color of the water oak . . . the bright reds of the maple.

I heard the distant 'bark' of a squirrel, then a closer response. My shotgun was pointing toward the ground draped across my forearm. I continued to scan the forest canopy looking for an early kill. I located my two friends then continued to drink in the beautiful afternoon. Even if we returned home with an empty game bag, the fellowship and the environment were worth the time. The air was becoming colder . . . BBBOOOOOMMMMMM!!!???!!!!!???!!!

My shotgun discharged!!!!!!!! I could not think, what was happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My finger was not on the trigger!!!!!!!!!!! My left hand was still in my pocket, my right across my abdomen still holding the firearm in a downward position.

I looked to see if I had shot off my foot. Smoke began to slowly rise from the 3" hole in the forest floor between my feet. I wiggled my toes just to be sure they were still connected to my ankles. I grew faint and became ashened as the consequences raced through my mind. . . this could have been tragic!!!!!!

My friends ran over and consoled me. We all stood around in semi-shock.

This had never happened to any of us before. After gathering our thoughts, we decided to end the afternoon hunt. I was still shaking. To this day I do not know how the shotgun fired. However; I was thankful that my father taught me safe hunting techniques when I was a young boy. I still have my feet to prove it.

Safe Hunting Tips:

1. Know your rifle or shotgun.

2. Don't load until you are at your stand.

3. Point your firearm in a safe direction.

4. Never place one's finger on the trigger until the target has been acquired.

5. Ensure that any hunting companions know how to use their firearms safely.

6. After the hunt, clean and store one's firearm in a safe place.

7. Teach your children the basics!

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Effective communication is at the core of every issue we deal with from time and workload to performance, teamwork, self-esteem, and especially safety. In an era of rapid change and doing more with less, it's the foundation for efficiency, respect, and a safer work environment. It can convert problems, confusion and lack of time into the solutions, clarity and ample time necessary to make Albemarle Corporation a SAFE world-class chemical company.

"Do Not Enter" into the misconception that effective communication is a "One Way" process. Remember it involves a successful exchange of information between at least two parties. It requires one person to talk...and, equally important, another to listen.

Let's all make a wholehearted attempt to better relay our information as well as hear and understand information relayed to us by others. Don't wait. Start today! You can make a difference. In our work environment, ineffective communication can be costly in every regard!

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Protecting Pets From the Big Chill

Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Slade Shealy.

Since the birth of my twin daughters back in April, our 2 dogs have been stripped of their inside privileges. Now that the weather is starting to get cold, I realize that I have to make sure that they have what they need to stay warm. What I didn't realize is that there are other things to consider as well. Here are some tips I found on the internet.

Protecting Pets From The Big Chill

(NAPSA)-Keeping pets happy, healthy and warm during colder weather may be easier with some tips from the experts.

"There are a variety of dangers associated with cold weather and pets," says Dr. Kathleen Neuhoff, American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA) president. "Pet owners can take a few simple steps to ensure that their pet braves the cold winter months."

AAHA offers the following tips:

Take pets for a checkup before cold weather kicks in. Your veterinarian can check for medical problems that might make your pet more vulnerable to the cold.

Keep pets inside as much as you can when the mercury drops. If you must leave your pet outside, provide appropriate shelter against the wind, thick bedding and nonfrozen water.

Depending on their size, age, health and thickness of their fur, some animals are more vulnerable to cold than others. No pets should stay outside for unlimited amounts of time in extremely cold weather.

Pets that go outside can accumulate rock salt, ice and chemical ice melts in their foot pads. To keep pads from getting chapped and raw, wipe their feet with a washcloth when pets come inside.

Cats will curl up against almost anything to stay warm-including car engines. Before you start your engine, check beneath the hood or make a lot of noise by honking the horn or rapping on the hood.

If you light a fire or plug in a space heater, keep it safely out of range of tails and paws. Pets can burn themselves or knock a heat source over, endangering the entire household.

Be particularly gentle with elderly and arthritic pets during the winter.

The cold can leave their joints extremely stiff and tender and they may become more awkward than usual. Consider modifying their environment to make it easier for them to get around.

Frostbite and hypothermia are dangerous possibilities in the winter.

Frostbite happens when the ears, paws or tail get cold enough that ice crystals form in the tissue and cause damage. If you suspect frostbite, bring your pet into a warm environment immediately, soak the extremities in warm water for about 20 minutes, and visit the veterinarian.

Hypothermia, or body temperature that is below normal, occurs when animals are overexposed to cold temperatures. Symptoms can range from shivering and lethargy in mild cases to stiff muscles, low heart and breathing rates, and unresponsiveness. If you notice these symptoms, warm your pet and seek care immediately.

When you're outside with your pets during the winter, watch them for signs of discomfort. If they whine, shiver, seem anxious, slow down or stop moving, or start to look for warm places to burrow, they need to be taken inside.

"Collar safety tip for dogs who live outdoors: While we discourage dog owners from keeping their pets exclusively outdoors, we realize that some people do. Professional groomer Nancy Gourley of Alaska has cautioned us that many dogs that live outdoors in cold climates develop full neck burns from wearing metal choke collars in cold weather, because steel attracts the cold and burns the skin black. Additionally choke collars should never be worn by an unsupervised dog. A leather or nylon flat buckle collar (that is checked periodically) is a much safer collar for dogs that live outdoors in any climate. (Both ID and rabies tags should be attached to the flat buckle collar.)

Pets who spend a lot of time outdoors need more food in the winter because keeping warm depletes energy. Routinely check your pet's water dish to make certain the water is fresh and unfrozen. Use plastic food and water bowls rather than metal; when the temperature is low, your pet's tongue can stick and freeze to metal.

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An estimated 47 million adults in the United States currently smoke, and approximately half will die prematurely from smoking. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death for men and women, and this year alone, there will be about 169,500 new cases diagnosed in the U.S. More than 80 percent of lung cancers are thought to result from smoking.

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - multitask.html - - Multi-Task Madness "Perhaps I'm out of line, but I think that when you get behind the wheel of a gazillion-pound motorized vehicle, turn the ignition key, get into gear, hit the gas, and begin to move, you should maybe ... I don't know ... PAY ATTENTION..."

Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist

http://www.madkane.com

http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)

http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)

Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:

http://www.madkane.com/email.html

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Crittercam - - http://www.nationalgeographic.com/channel/crittercam/video-previews.html - - Crittercam features a camera and environmental data sensors attached to an animal - from a shark or turtle to a lion or seal - that capture amazing wild behavior unaffected by humans. Such a simple idea yields fascinating results.

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"The people who call Dell's customer service line often have no idea why their computers are running so slow. The ones who call America Online Inc. can't necessarily explain why Internet connections keep dropping. And those who file error reports with Microsoft Corp. don't always know why their computers inexplicably crash. Sometimes, the company that gets the complaint is rightly to blame. But with alarming frequency, officials at these and other technology companies say they are tracing customer problems back to one culprit: spyware. In the past year, spyware problems have become especially pernicious, leaving companies scrambling to respond to customers who don't necessarily realize they have spyware. Companies are concerned about the cost of dealing with such calls. But perhaps more worrisome, they fear customers will wrongly blame them. Spyware generally refers to programs that land on computers without their owners' knowledge. They can deliver hordes of pop-up ads, redirect people to unfamiliar search engines or, in rare cases, steal personal information."

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Pandia Powersearch - - http://sponsors.eproof.com?s=18&g=http%3A//www.pandia.com/powersearch/index.html - - Pandia is an all-in-one search site devoted to Internet searching. Not only do you find state of the art search tools like the Pandia Metasearch Engine, Pandia Radio Search and the Pandia Plus Web Directory; there is also a wealth of information on search engines and directories, search engine optimization and marketing and Web searching in general.

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"Three hundred years from now, the world's population will have stabilized at about 9 billion and we will look forward to living until age 95. In Japan, that bastion of longevity, people will be hanging around until they're 106. India, China and the United States will still be the most populous countries on the planet - if they still exist - and Africa's share of the world's population will double to 25 percent. The average woman will give birth to two children. Those are just a few possibilities projected in a U.N. report released Thursday, which lowers long-term population estimates because of new thinking about fertility rates in the future. The new report acknowledges that population projections are extremely iffy. 'What will population trends be like beyond 2050? No one really knows,' the report says. 'Any demographic projections, if they go 100, 200 or 300 years into the future, are little more than guesses.' "

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2004 Science and Technology Web Awards - - 3A//www.sciam.com/article.cfm%3FarticleID%3D00085684-2613-115C-A61383414B7F0000 - - Every year it gets more difficult to separate Web wheat from chaff and pick a handful of sites out of billions to receive the Scientific American.com Science and Technology Web Awards. The Web is no longer just a tool for finding the occasional fact or trivium - it's a necessity, an integral part of our daily lives, and the sheer amount of information available can be overwhelming.

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"Music surrounds us - and we wouldn't have it any other way. An exhilarating orchestral crescendo can bring tears to our eyes and send shivers down our spines. Background swells add emotive punch to movies and TV shows. Organists at ballgames bring us together, cheering, to our feet. Parents croon soothingly to infants. And our fondness has deep roots: we have been making music since the dawn of culture. More than 30,000 years ago early humans were already playing bone flutes, percussive instruments and jaw harps--and all known societies throughout the world have had music. Indeed, our appreciation appears to be innate. Infants as young as two months will turn toward consonant, or pleasant, sounds and away from dissonant ones. And when a symphony's denouement gives delicious chills, the same kinds of pleasure centers of the brain light up as they do when eating chocolate, having sex or taking cocaine. Therein lies an intriguing biological mystery: Why is music--universally beloved and uniquely powerful in its ability to wring emotions--so pervasive and important to us? Could its emergence have enhanced human survival somehow, such as by aiding courtship, as Geoffrey F. Miller of the University of New Mexico has proposed? Or did it originally help us by promoting social cohesion in groups that had grown too large for grooming, as suggested by Robin M. Dunbar of the University of Liverpool? On the other hand, to use the words of Harvard University's Steven Pinker, is music just 'auditory cheesecake' - a happy accident of evolution that happens to tickle the brain's fancy? "

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"The number of women in state and federal prisons is at an all-time high and growing fast, with the incarceration rate for females increasing at nearly twice that of men, the government reported November, 7, 2004. There were 101,179 women in prisons last year, 3.6 percent more than in 2002, the Justice Department said. That marks the first time the women's prison population has topped 100,000, and continues a trend of rapid growth.Overall, men are still far more likely than women to be in jail or prison, and black men are more likely than any other group to be locked up. At the close of 2003, U.S. prisons held 1,368,866 men, the Bureau of Justice Statistics reported. The total was 2 percent more than in 2002. Expressed in terms of the population at large, that means that in 2003, one in every 109 U.S. men was in prison. For women the figure was one in every 1,613."

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Historic Photograph Collection: National Park Service - - http://sponsors.eproof.com?s=18&g=http%3A//data2.itc.nps.gov/hafe/hfc/npsphoto.cfm - - The National Park Service Historic Photograph Collection is comprised of more than two million images which cover a wide variety of subjects: Park architecture, Civilian Conservation Corps Native American heritage, NPS personnel, roads and transportation, scenic views, and much more. There are presently 2000 images from the Collection available online. The collections of several eminent National Park Service photographers, including Jack Boucher, Arno B. Cammerer, George A. Grant, and Abbie Rowe, are also included in the Collection.

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"Victims of the Sept. 11 attacks received $38.1 billion in compensation, with insurance companies picking up the largest portion of the tab, according to a study released November 8, 2004. The report by Rand Institute for Social Justice found that civilians killed or injured have received an average of $3.1 million per person from the government, charities and insurance companies, or $8.7 billion. Emergency personnel killed or injured were given a total of about $1.9 billion. First responders received an average of $1.1 million more than civilians with similar economic losses, the study found. Most of the extra money came from charities. Insurers paid 51 percent of the overall total, or about $19.6 billion. The government distributed $15.8 billion, or 42 percent, and charities paid $2.7 billion, or 7 percent. The majority of the money went to New York City businesses, which received $23.3 billion, according to Rand. Three out of every four dollars that went to businesses came from insurance companies."

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American Law Sources On-line - - http://sponsors.eproof.com?s=18&g=http%3A//www.lawsource.com/also/ - - This site provides a comprehensive, uniform, and useful compilation of links to freely accessible on-line sources of law for the United States and Canada. This site contains additional links to sources of commentary and practice aids that are available without charge (or available at a reasonable charge from governmental and nonprofit providers).

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"The FBI reported November 8, 2004 that 132 police officers were killed in the line of duty in 2003, with guns and traffic accidents claiming the most lives. Of the total, which is eight deaths more than in 2002, 49 were killed in traffic accidents and 45 slain with firearms. Thirty-one of those killed with guns were wearing body armor at the time. In all cases, the average age of the officer killed was about 37 and average level of police experience 10 years. The totals translate into one officer death every 2.8 days nationally, the FBI estimated. Authorities solved all the cases in 2003 of officers who were shot to death or otherwise intentionally killed. Thirty-eight suspects were arrested, 14 were killed by police and six committed suicide, according to the FBI."

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Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy - - http://sponsors.eproof.com?s=18&g=http%3A//setis.library.usyd.edu.au/stanford/contents.html - - Welcome to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, which was designed from its inception (September 1995) as a dynamic reference work. In a dynamic reference work, each entry is maintained and kept up to date by an expert or group of experts in the field. All entries and updates are refereed by the members of a distinguished Editorial

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"For a science that's about manipulating substances at the molecular level, nanotechnology is starting to bring big profits to many consumer product makers. Already, 'nanoscience' has produced stain- and wrinkle-resistant clothing, self-cleaning windows, glare-reducing and fog-resistant coatings for eyeglasses and windshields, dramatically increased computer memory, better sports equipment, improved cosmetics and sunscreens, and lighter, stronger auto components. What's next? More user-friendly cellphones, longer-lasting batteries, lighter car tires that retain air longer, better imaging techniques for diagnosing disease, drugs more precisely targeted to limit side effects, faster consumer electronics, perhaps even cheaper beer made with 'nano yeast,' experts say. Fortune 500 companies from General Electric, Johnson & Johnson, Merck & Co. and IBM to Motorola, Sony, DuPont and 3M are making big investments in nanotechnology to improve medicine, computer components, electronic toys, microelectronics, photovoltaic systems, cosmetics and flat-panel displays for TV and video screens. Some products are already on store shelves."

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Alcohol and You - - http://chemcases.com/alcohol/index.htm - - In this interactive online course, you will be introduced to: Ethyl alcohol and its place among organic substances; Industrial and fermentation synthesis of alcohol; How and where alcohol goes in the body; Chemistry of alcohol metabolism; Effect of alcohol on organ function; Alcohol abuse and addiction.

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"More than half of Americans (56%) say their monthly lease and car payments are enough of a burden to prevent them from making other big ticket purchases, according to the Cambridge Consumer Credit Index. 17% of those with car loan payments say these loans are a major burden, up from 11% who felt so in 2003. 39% now say the loans are a minor burden, down from 44% a year ago. One reason that the level of burden has increased on many consumers is that average car payments have risen because of higher car prices. 17% of those with car payments are spending between $500 and $700 a month, up from 10% who paid that amount in 2003. 43% (down from 50% a year ago) are paying between $300 and $500 a month, while 32% (unchanged from a year ago) are paying less than $300 a month."

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Google Scholar

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Google released a new search site Wednesday called Google Scholar that lets you search "specifically for scholarly literature, including peer-reviewed papers, theses, books, preprints, abstracts and technical reports from all broad areas of research." You can find Google Scholar at

http://scholar.google.com/

Google Scholar supports most of Google's regular query modifiers [for more information about Google query modifiers, check out my free Google 201 PDF handout at http://tinyurl.com/4hhn9 ]. Google Scholar also introduces a new query modifier:

author:authorname

How do you use the new author: query modifier? Well, here are three examples of it in work:

author:stack "The effect of country music on suicide"

author:Balasubramaniam "Coordination Modes in the Multisegmental Dynamics of Hula Hooping"

author:crispen "Social stress in pregnant squirrel monkeys"

Google Scholar is brand new and is still in beta. In other words, the folks at Google are still working out the bugs and the database is kind of small. But from what little I have seen so far, I'm impressed.

For more information about Google Scholar, check out

http://scholar.google.com/scholar/about.html

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The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2004, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com

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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.

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Great concept!!!

THE LAW IS THE LAW

So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.

And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then so be it.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American Publics' best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot Post His Commandments in Government buildings,

I don't believe the Government and it's employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God th at our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas,

Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break."

After all ~ it's just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter.

It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct".

In fact....

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????

If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the minority opinions and begin, once again, to represent the 'majority' of ALL of the American people.

SO BE IT...........

Please Dear Lord, Give us the help needed to keep you in our country! 'Amen' and 'Amen'

Touche!

These are definitely things I never thought about but from now on, I will! and I will be sure to questions those, in government, who support these changes .

Thanks to the Pat Hammock family

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This is one of those paranoid sort of things we all get in e-mail from time to time, but thought you might find it interesting.

Parking Lot Smart

We've all heard about "street smart," maybe we need to also be "parking lot smart" Remember these during our shorter, darker days! Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm, I must remember that."

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

Thanks to Sam Boggs

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Enjoy the day

From: Joe Millet

This is worth passing on...Have A Blessed Day...B

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back.

From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean anything to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence until you finished watching your television program?

I cannot count the times I've called friends and family and said, "Hey, How about going to lunch in a half hour?" They would gasp and stammer, "I can't." Check one:

"I have clothes in the dryer."

"My hair is dirty."

"I wish I had known yesterday."

"I had a late breakfast."

"It looks like rain".

And my personal favorite: "Can't.... I've got too much to do".

Some of these people have since died and I never did get to have lunch with them. It's because people the world over cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our own headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves, when all the conditions are perfect.

We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a holiday/second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating, as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we'll awaken and all we'll have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," "someday when things are settled down a bit" and "one of these days."

Ah yes.... One of these days.

When anyone calls my 'Seize The Moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind to new ideas.

Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for 5 minutes and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream.

It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my hips with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT ...Not something on your SHOULD DO list.

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I’m futilely trying to resist the onslaught of Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, but I’d prefer to enjoy Thanksgiving first.

CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS

from The Little Book of Christmas Joys

by H. Jackson Brown Jr., Rosemary Brown, and Kathy Peel

Be the first to wish everyone you meet a Merry Christmas.

Go see a small town Christmas parade.

Don't count calories from December 15th through January 2nd.

Mend a broken relationship with someone during the holidays.

Take a basket of goodies to a notoriously grumpy neighbor.

Be nice to sales personnel. They're often wearier than you are.

Don't schedule yourself too tightly during the holidays. Before making an appointment, ask yourself, "Can this wait until after Christmas?"

Take a holiday family photograph each year in the same spot, such as by a favorite tree in your yard. In years to come, you'll have a wonderful record of the growth of your family, as well as of the tree.

Make an effort to attend every Christmas party you're invited to, even if you can only stay a few minutes.

Adopt a needy family for the holidays. Let members of your family buy a present for the person closest to their own age.

Fill your house with the holiday fragrance of cloves, orange peel, and cinnamon sticks simmering on the kitchen stove.

Don't despair if you are short of cash. Be creative. Looking back, you'll discover that the Christmases when you had the least money were the ones that left you with the best memories.

Let go of a problem you can't solve. Enjoy the season.

Hang a favorite Christmas ornament from your car's rearview mirror.

Sprinkle confetti in your Christmas card envelopes.

Chill a dark sheet of construction paper. Take it and a child outside and rediscover the wonder of snowflakes.

Take a basket of goodies to your local fire and police stations.

Wear a smile and a Santa hat when you walk through the mall.

If a child gives you a homemade gift, convince him it's your favorite gift of all.

Purchase a special Christmas sweater and wear it often.

Choose a Christmas tree that's a little too big for the room.

Tie a wreath with a big red bow to the grill of your car.

Organize a progressive dinner.

Try at least one new Christmas recipe and one new decorating idea.

Start a Christmas-theme jigsaw puzzle on December 1st. Try to have it finished by Christmas Eve.

Take a shut-in a scrumptious Christmas dinner.

Rent a Santa Claus suit. Slip it on during your lunch hour and hand out candy canes to everyone in the office.

Take your family to a live performance of The Nutcracker Suite or a church choir rendition of Handel's Messiah.

Before going to bed on Christmas Eve, read by candle light about the birth of Jesus in Luke 2.

Personalize your Christmas cards with a short handwritten note.

Tie jingle bells on your kid's shoelaces.

When you think you have enough lights on your tree, add two more strands.

Give a young member of your family the honor of placing the star or angel on top of the tree.

Go caroling.

Instead of the usual bedtime stories, read to your children about the Christmas customs in other countries.

Buy more Scotch tape, wrapping paper, and Christmas cards than you think you'll need.

Deliver coffee cakes to your neighbors to enjoy on Christmas morning.

Never write the word Christmas as Xmas.

Enjoy a couple of meals illuminated only by the Christmas tree.

Before going to bed every night of the Christmas season, ask yourself, "Whose life did I make brighter today?"

Volunteer in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

Don't give anyone a fruitcake.

Don't give a child underwear.

Don't give your spouse a kitchen scale.

Call a nursing home and get the names of five people who don't often receive mail. Send each one a Christmas card and sign it "from Santa".

Tip someone who doesn't expect it.

Wait until Christmas morning to place Jesus in your Nativity scene.

Remember that the best solution for holiday blues is to do something special for someone else.

Tell your children about Christmas when you were their age.

Wear outrageous Christmas socks.

Drink from a Christmas coffee mug.

Watch It's a Wonderful Life.

Watch Dicken's A Christmas Carol.

Watch a Christmas cartoon.

Never refuse a holiday dessert.

Offer to run Christmas errands for an elderly friend or relative.

Cut off the fronts of attractive Christmas cards to use as gift tags.

Record a cheerful Christmas greeting on your answering machine.

Make French toast with eggnog.

Attend a Christmas Eve service with your family.

Make snow angels.

Attend a Christmas bazaar. Buy something whether you need it or not.

Give an anonymous gift of money to someone who has been laid off.

Start a special collection for each of your children, adding an item each year.

Ask for a gift box for each gift you buy.

Help an elderly neighbor decorate his or her home.

Curl up before the fire with someone you love.

Be ready with a smile or a hug.

On Christmas morning, phone some relatives who live far away and wish them a Merry Christmas.

Help your children bake Christmas breads or cookies to give to teachers.

Display prominently the Christmas artwork your child brings home forom school.

Videotape family members recalling their favorite Christmas memories.

Listen to the barking dogs sing "Jingle Bells". Once.

Put something Christmassy in every room in your home.

Remember that Christmas carols never sound better than when you sing them in church.

Don't wait until 1:30 am Christmas morning to put together "some assembly required" items.

Enjoy Christmas music in your home, office, and car.

Fill a basket with past Christmas photos. Put it in a prominent spot.

Sing or whistle "Winter Wonderland" in the shower.

Organize a neighborhood yard decorating contest with the winner receiving a plate of goodies from the losers.

Create a homemade sled from a large appliance box. Then look for biggest hill you can find.

Sometime during the holidays, go through your closets and box up clothing you haven't worn in two years. Give away items that are still in good condition.

Record names and addresses in your address book as your receive Christmas cards--before your throw away the envelopes.

Allow extra time to navigate through Christmas traffic.

Talk with your children about the first Christmas.

Offer refreshments to carolers.

Create a special Christmas morning menu and serve it every year.

Don't wait for someone else to spread Christmas joy.

THROUGHOUT THE SEASON, GIVE FAMILY AND OTHERS THE GIFT OF A SWEET

DISPOSITION.

Help a child make paper chains.

Tie a bright bow on your pet's collar.

Give your place in the checkout line to someone who looks like they have had a hard day.

Try to keep up with your fitness routine.

Wrap your child's bedroom door like a present.

Compliment at least three people every day in December.

Let a child decorate a small Christmas tree just the way he likes it.

Let the youngest and oldest family members pass out the presents.

Start a collection of Christmas cookie cutters.

Refuse to let heavy traffic and long lines dampen your Christmas spirit.

Fix yourself a cup of hot cocoa and read "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost.

Never give a gift that's not nicely wrapped.

Put white lights on your house plants.

Make a friend of an enemy this Christmas.

On a clear night, find the bright North Star and recall the story of the Wise Men.

Teach children to look at the gift tag Before they open the present so they will know whom to thank.

Be a generous giver.

Be a gracious receiver.

Make it a holiday practice to do something nice for someone without telling them you did it.

Be the first to lob a snowball and start a battle.

Buy a big red candle for the dining table and light it every night during the holidays.

Attend a children's Christmas pageant.

Never give someone else's child a gift you would not want your own child to receive.

Open Christmas cards as a family activity each night at the dinner table. Read the messages aloud.

Give someone who's discouraged the gift of encouragement.

Make your family feel just as important as your holiday company.

Pay a debt for someone.

Add a new Christmas cassette or CD to your collection each year.

Offer to carry someone's packages.

Plan a quiet evening with your family the week after Christmas. Talk about your goals for the coming year.

Go ice skating.

Dress the kids for bed, then get in the car to see Christmas lights.

If you're feeling harried, go to a church, sit in the sanctuary, and reflect on the real meaning of Christmas.

Introduce a shy person to others at the office Christmas party.

Keep plenty of apple cider and microwave popcorn on hand for unexpected guests.

Don't forget, no matter how many Christmas photos you take, next year you'll wish you had taken more.

This Christmas, write letters to several people who have had a positive influence on your life.

Thank them for the gift they have given you.

Let someone else have the parking space you've just found. Think of it as a gift to a stranger.

Give gifts with no strings attached.

Write with a red or green pen.

Buy something from students holding a Christmas bake sale and tell them to keep the change.

Include your children in the preparation of holiday meals.

This season, cut others--as well as yourself--more slack than usual.

Replace your shoelaces with a red one and green one.

If your child gets a game for Christmas, play it with him and let him win.

Stop and help someone who's stuck in the snow.

Take a walk with someone you love on Christmas afternoon.

Read The Littlest Angel by Charles Tazewell to a child.

Remember that the loving holiday spirit in your home depends more on the words you speak than on the gifts you give.

Turn off the lights and put on "White Christmas". Ask your spouse to dance.

Secretly shovel off your neighbor's front walk.

Answer your phone by saying "Merry Christmas".

Learn the second verse to "Jingle Bells".

Have an extra ice scraper to give to someone who might need one.

Pay the toll for the car behind you during the week of Christmas.

Carry jumper cables. If you don't need them, you're set to help someone else.

Order and pay for a pizza for a neighbor. Ask the delivery person to tell them it's from Santa.

Ask everyone at your celebration "the Christmas remember most" or "the craziest gift I ever received".

When you hear the song "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" grab the family member nearest you and kick up your heels.

Have a Christmas party for your children and their friends.

Don't let a rude person steal your Christmas joy.

Let your children participate in decorating the house for the holidays.

Write "Joy to the World" with your finger on a frosty window.

Serve cinnamon sticks with hot cider and peppermint sticks with hot chocolate.

Ask children "What are you giving for Christmas?" instead of "What are you getting for Christmas?"

Get out old games--Monopoly, Clue, etc--and have an ongoing family tournament during December.

Discover the quiet satisfaction of anonymous giving.

Take your camera to holiday parties.

Don't try to do everything yourself. Remember, even Santa needs helpers.

The day you take down your decorations, ask family members what they liked best and least about the holidays.

Decorate the backs of dining chairs with bows or stockings.

If your children are grown, offer to take someone else's for a special activity.

Let the youngest child in the family who's old enough read the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. Record it, and give it to them when they are grown.

Remember that peace on earth starts with peace in our homes and in our hearts.

After opening the presents, hug all your family members and tell them they are the best gift of all.

For Christmas prepare as many do-ahead dishes as you can.

Don't forget to hang the mistletoe.

Don't forget the batteries.

Don't forget whose birthday we're celebrating.

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PROCTER & GAMBLE COMES OUT OF CLOSET, NOW PUSHING HOMOSEXUAL TV AGENDA

I'd rather see viewers boycott the programs but this is another way to get a sponsor's attention,

Procter & Gamble, maker of Crest, Tide and Pampers, is the leading sponsor of two TV programs that continually push the homosexual agenda.

The sitcom Will & Grace regularly promotes homosexuality and explicit sex-talk with jokes about male and female genitalia, masturbation, oral sex and even anal sex. The series' two male stars are both homosexual. From the beginning, the series has been about nothing but sex.

Will & Grace is the program that showed two men passionately kissing each other.

According to Broadcasting & Cable online magazine, P&G was the top sponsor of Will & Grace between September 2003 and February 2004. P&G spent an astonishing $8.2 in sponsorship of this program promoting the homosexual agenda.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy depicts five homosexual men remaking the "cluttered, straight men of the world" so that they look, dress and act in the manner of the "cool" and, by implication, superior "gay" community. The program consistently seeks to validate and glorify the homosexual lifestyle.

Between September 2003 and February 2004, P&G spent $2,000,000 in sponsorship of this program promoting the homosexual agenda.

Remember that P&G pulled all their advertising support from Dr. Laura's program after a complaint from the homosexual community. P&G will support programs that are pro-homosexual, but refuse to support programs that tell the truth about homosexuality!

Procter & Gamble has become a leading advocate for the homosexual lifestyle. For more information on P&G's promotion of homosexuality, go here: http://www.pgboycott.com/promotion.asp

Please support the boycott of P&G, and ask others to do so.

To sign the Boycott P&G petition, click http://www.pgboycott.com/SignPetition.asp?id=1270.

American Family Association is asking individuals to:

1. Boycott three products of P&G Crest toothpaste, Tide detergent, and Pampers diapers. (Some are boycotting all P&G products, which we encourage. To print out a list of P&G products, click http://www.pgboycott.com/productlist.asp.)

2. Print out a Boycott Procter & Gamble petition and distribute among Sunday school and church members and with friends. Click http://www.pgboycott.com/PGBoycottPetition.pdf. (pdf version)

3. Please register your support for the boycott at pgboycott.com. http://www.pgboycott.com/SignPetition.asp?id=1270

4. Call Chairman A.G. Lafley at 513-983-1100 and politely let him know that you are participating in the boycott and will ask others to do the same.

5. Help us spread the word by forwarding this to friends and family.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Chairman

OneMillionDads.com

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Revolution Pt. 3

No one could have imagined that Israel's Messiah, the Savior of all man-kind, would face the humiliation of a Roman scourge and a crucifixion in the refuse district outside of Jerusalem. Unthinkable.

More unthinkable still was what happened three days later... Satan had come against this man Jesus for years now. This simple carpenter from rural Galilee appeared on the banks of the Jordan to be baptized by John. Ordinary enough. But then the heavens opened and the Spirit of God descended upon Him, along with a voice declaring this Nazarene to be the Son of God. Immediately Satan came to tempt this man, even offering all the kingdoms of the world and their glory in exchange for Satanic allegience...but Jesus passed the test that Adam had failed, saying "Get behind me Satan."

For three years, the devil stirred up every human passion he could muster against Jesus, but everywhere He went captives were set free and demonic powers broken. Clearly, Satan was losing ground. Could this be the Messiah? The Arch-imp shuddered.

The powers of darkness shrieked at Jesus' appearing. The establishment raged against His teaching and His extraordinary miracles, calling them lies and works of Beelzebub. The government called Him a rebel. The common people called him a prophet, or mad, or both.

He was a one-man revolution. He started His ministry preaching that He had been empowered by the Spirit of God to bring freedom to the captives. He promised real freedom. Freedom from sin, sickness, demonic opression, traditions of men...And He was as hated by some as He was loved by others...

He went everywhere preaching about a kingdom to come. A kingdom close at hand, even growing presently in the hearts of those who believed. He demanded total dedication by His disciples. " Take up your cross...he who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me...he who keeps his life will lose it...remember Lot's wife..." The revolution was brewing.

The showdown loomed over the festivities at Jerusalem that Passover.

It was common knowledge that the Pharisees planned evil against Jesus if He came to Jerusalem. Lucifer had not only stirred up murderous hatred for Christ in the religious community, but he had even found a way into Jesus' innner circle. Darkness had crept into Judas' heart, and a bag of silver would be enough to betray His master.

The cheers of a multitude. The songs of children. Shouts of "Hossanna...The King of Israel!"rose from the gate at the Bethany road...Jesus arrived, not under cloak of darkness, but with a king's triumph. The stage was set.

"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain." His disciples did not understand. "My soul is troubled, but what will I say,'Father, save me from this hour?'...I have come for this purpose...Father! Glorify Your name!" "I have glorified it and will glorify it again." Some heard a voice respond from Heaven, some said it thundered... "This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake. Now is the judgement of this world; now is the ruler of this world cast out. If I am lifted up..."

jhmj

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TGIF-Today God Is First

Are You a Romans 8:14 Christian?

Friday, November 19, 2004

by Os Hillman

For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ~ Romans 8:13- 14

Joshua and Caleb are described in Scripture as men who had a different spirit. They were two of the 12 spies sent into the Promised Land to determine if it could be taken, as God had promised it to them. The other ten gave a bad report that instilled fear in the people, which ultimately caused a rebellion.

This resulted in an entire generation dying in the desert. Joshua and Caleb were the only two who were led by the Spirit of God, versus the spirit of fear. They were the only ones to enter the Promised Land from their generation.

Are you a person led by the Spirit? The verse above tells us that those who are led by the Spirit are sons of God. "But because My servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows Me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it" (Num. 14:24). Caleb was a Romans 8:14 man! The Spirit led him. He was not led by fear.

Many of us have failed to enter into our own Promised Land because we have failed to be led by the Spirit rather than by fear. Fear prevents us from entering into what God has promised for each of us.

God has reserved an inheritance for us that is exceedingly good. God described the Promised Land as a land of milk and honey. Our own Promised Land is the same. But you must be led by the Spirit to enter in. You cannot be led by fear, reason and analysis, or even skill. The Spirit must lead you. Commit yourself to being a Romans 8:14 man or woman. Then you will enter into the land God has promised for you.

Os Hillman Copyright 2004

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NewsScan Daily, 2004 ("Above The Fold")

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NewsScan Daily is underwritten by RLG, a world-class organization making significant and sustained contributions to the effective management and appropriate use of information technology. NSD is written by John Gehl and Suzanne Douglas, editors@NewsScan.Com.

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NEW AD SERVICE TRACKS SURFING HABITS, MAINTAINS PRIVACY

Tacoda, based in New York, is touting its new online marketing service, which directs ads to Web site visitors based on their surfing history. No personal information is sought or collected -- AudienceMatch simply traces the path of a single computer through its network of 60 Web sites, using a cookie. "This is different than what DoubleClick was trying to do," says Tacoda CEO David Morgan. "This system uses no personally identifiable information, and no data is shared between publishers. Privacy is one of the biggest issues that will drive the success of this." Tacoda's Web network comprises 60 publishers that are visited by some 100 million people monthly, or about 75% of the U.S. Internet audience. Morgan compares AudienceMatch to Google's AdSense program, which allows marketers to bid for the right to position their text messages next to stories that have a related "theme." With AudienceMatch, however, advertisers bid not on keywords, but on preset groups, like "gadget geeks," or "car buyers." Gartner analyst Denise Garcia says AudienceMatch "enables advertisers to reach a lot more people with targeted ads, which, for them, is the next big wave." (New York Times 15 Nov 2004)

TELECOMMUTING TAKES OFF AT TECH FIRMS

Thanks to better technology, such as collaborative software applications, a number of technology firms are giving more workers flexibility in how -- and where -- they do their jobs. When set up properly, telecommuting and flextime are good for both employers and workers, says Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute: "Providing flexibility isn't a perk. Flexible work (options) are part of effective companies." In fact, studies on telecommuting show that it increases workers' average productivity by 5% to 20%, says Jack Nilles, president of telecommuting consulting firm JALA International. "Most offices are dysfunctional. Interruptions are unbelievable," says Nilles, who adds that the number of people who work at least one day every couple of weeks away from the office is about 30 million this year, up 10% from last year. IBM is a case in point: In 2001, about a third of IBM employees worked outside the office at least some of the time. That figure has climbed to 42%, says Maria Ferris, manager of work/life and women's initiatives at Big Blue. Still, there are challenges to overcome: Top on the list is ensuring that company data isn't at risk when employees work from home, followed by convincing managers to supervise based on results rather than face-time, and ensuring that remote employees feel connected. (CNet News.com 15 Nov 2004)

UNIVERSAL AND SNOCAP MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER

Vivendi Universal has agreed to license its catalog of 150,000 songs to Snocap, a new venture headed up by Napster founder Shawn Fanning. It's unclear how Snocap's peer-to-peer service will work, but people close to the deal say one possibility is that the service would allow users to share a low-quality copy of a licensed song for free but would require a fee for access to a high-quality version. The other three big labels -- Warner Music, EMI Group and Sony BMG -- all are seeking ways to license legitimate copies of their songs to peer-to-peer network, but Universal's move marks the first such partnering deal. (Wall Street Journal 15 Nov 2004) (sub req'd)

HELLO, I'M A DOG LOVER, TOO!

Schmoozing at big corporate events can be painful for the socially challenged, but now there's the nTAG -- an electronic name tag that beams messages to fellow conventioneers like, "Hi, Jane, I like strawberry ice cream, too." The device uses infrared sensing and radio frequency identification to communicate with other tags and it lights up in the dark for those who do their networking at the bar. "People want a reason to interact," says nTAG inventor Rick Borovoy. "They need help. This gives them a powerful nudge in that direction." Meeting participants have given the nTAG high marks for being an icebreaker that helps them circulate beyond their usual pool of friends or colleagues, and meeting planners use the data collected to evaluate session popularity and exhibit attendance. (Boston Globe 15 Nov 2004) http://www.boston.com/business/technology/articles/2004/11/15/breaking-the-ice-20/

FOUR IN COURT OVER SQL THEFT

Four former Microsoft employees have been charged with stealing $32 million worth of software and selling it on the side. According to a complaint filed by Microsoft, the workers ordered software available to Microsoft employees for free to use for business purposes, then sold it to online software retailers. The complaint said the employees blocked managers from getting routine email notification that the workers were ordering the software. The software the four are accused of stealing included the SQL Server 2000, which normally sells for $15,000, and the SQL Enterprise Server 7.0, which sells for $29,000. (The Australian, 12 Nov 2004) Rec'd from J. Lamp http://australianit.news.com.au/articles/0,7204,11363324%5E15306%5E%5Enbv%5E,00.h tml

WORLD COMMUNITY GRID FOR HEALTH RESEARCH

An IBM project called World Community Grid will apply the untapped computing power of millions of personal computers to the study of AIDS, Alzheimer's, malaria, cancer and other diseases. Dr. Eric Jakobsson of the National Institutes of Health says, "This program is both a sizable commitment of computing resources and an encouraging sign of progress in moving toward a community model for biomedical computing." The new networks's first mission will be the Human Proteome Folding Project of the Institute for Systems Biology, which seeks to identify all the proteins in the human body and their functions. People who want to join the grid project and donate computer time will be able to download software from the following Web site: . (New York Times 16 Nov 2004) <http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/16/technology/16grid.html>

WIRELESS WILL DRIVE INTERNET

John Doerr, a prominent venture capitalist of the Internet boom, says the future of computing is in wireless: "I think the Internet's largest opportunities are in bringing new services, ones that we barely imagine, to billions of people around the world, wirelessly. We're probably in the early... adolescence of this Internet world." Among the many technology visionaries who agree with Doerr is Intel president and chief operating officer Paul Otellini, who notes: "The interesting thing about wireless is what it can do to bring the rest of the world into the Web. You can start to think about bringing this into rural markets."(Reuters/Washington Post 16 Nov 2004)

MICROSOFT CRACKS DOWN ON XBOX MODIFICATIONS

Cameron Ferroni, Microsoft's general manager for the Xbox software platform, says the company's not planning to sue individual users but that it does want to stop users of the Xbox Live online service from modifying their machines to improve their performance at games. Ferroni believes it's important that Microsoft prevent cheating on Xbox Live (where multiple players can take part in games) and says that the company's goal is to make sure there's a level playing field for game players. (AP/San Jose Mercury News 15 Nov 2004)

SBC WILL OFFER INTERNET-BASED TV AND PHONE SERVICE

SBC Communications, which has committed $4 billion over the next three years to build an advanced high-speed fiber network, plans to start selling Internet-based TV service and phone service by the end of 2005. Explaining the company's strategy, SBC marketing executive Scott Helbing says: "It's a game of chicken, to a certain extent. Cable operators have been pushing to get into our bread-and-butter business [basic phone service], and now we're going to get into theirs. This keeps us competitive." (USA Today 16 Nov 2004)

SOFTWARE FREE AS THE SUN, FROM SUN

Sun Microsystems, which spent $500 million developing its next-generation operating system, will offer its Solaris 10 operating system free, in hopes of expanding both its customer base and the number of software developers who write programs for it. To generate revenue, the company will charge subscription fees for Solaris support and service programs. Sun chief executive Scott McNealy says: "Hewlett Packard sells a printer at a low price and makes a lot of money on printer cartridges. Gillette gives you the razor and makes a lot of money on the blades. There are different ways to drive market penetration." (AP 15 Nov 2004)

SATELLITE PHONES BACK IN VOGUE

Workers and travelers in far-flung locations are finding satellite phones provide much more reliable service than cell phones, and are breathing new life into two companies that sought bankruptcy protection in the last few years while struggling to build a market. Iridium Satellite and Globalstar both have seen a recent surge in subscriber rates, primarily from global travelers and workers in fields such as mining, drilling, forestry and engineering. "They cover such a broad area, I can use it anywhere," says one Iridium customer who says his satellite phone compares favorably with his old cellular handset. "The call may get unclear, but if you wait about five or six seconds, it gets better. A cell phone would just drop the call." Boosting the appeal are satellite phones' new, smaller size (although they're still heftier than your average cell phone) and cheaper rates, which can go as low as 17 cents a minute. Proponents note that during the string of hurricanes that hit the U.S. last summer, satellite phones were often the only reliable means of communication, because they use orbiting satellites rather than landlines and cell towers to transmit signals. (Wall Street Journal 17 Nov 2004) (sub req'd)

HOLLYWOOD SUES INTERNET FILM PIRATES

The Motion Picture Association of America has filed an undisclosed number of lawsuits against Internet users it suspects of swapping or downloading digital copies of films. The group says the civil suits could seek damages of up to $30,000 per film. The MPAA move follows a similar strategy by the music industry to crack down on illegal downloading, which resulted in about 5,000 lawsuits. MPAA Dan Glickman said in a statement: "The motion-picture industry must pursue legal proceedings against people who are stealing our movies on the Internet. The future of our industry, and of the hundreds of thousands of jobs it supports, must be protected from this kind of outright theft using all available means." (BBC News 17 Nov 2004)

REACH OUT AND JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE

Did you ever want to leave a message for someone, but were afraid to call for fear they'd really pick up? Core Mobility of Palo Alto has developed "Voice SMS," which allows the user to leave a voice message in someone's e-mail inbox or on their cell phone -- without giving the recipient a chance to answer live. The Voice SMS feature will debut on a new Samsung handset available in Sprint stores around the country. (San Jose Mercury News 17 Nov 2004)

HEAVY COMPUTER USE LINKED TO GLAUCOMA

Researchers at the Toho University School of Medicine in Tokyo have found that long hours spent in front of a computer screen may increase the risk of glaucoma in near-sighted people. Glaucoma, which is caused by damage to the optic nerve, results in blind spots or visual impairments that can lead to blindness. The research is based on a study of 10,000 workers in Japan who were tested for the disease, with results correlated to data on how many hours were spent on the computer and also pre-existing visual problems, such as myopia. Scientists said they believe the optic nerve in myopic people might be more vulnerable to computer-caused stress than in normal eyes. "Computer stress is reaching higher levels than have ever been experienced before. In the next decade, therefore, it might be important for public health professionals to show more concern about myopia and visual field abnormalities in heavy computer users," says the report published in the British Journal of Ophthalmology. (Reuters/MSNBC 16 Nov 2004)

BIDS FOR VIRGIN MARY CHEESE SANDWICH CANCELED

The folks at eBay were no believers in this cheesy miracle: half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich whose owner claimed it bore the image of the Virgin Mary. Diana Duyser put the sandwich up for sale last week, drawing bids as high as $22,000 before eBay pulled the item on Sunday night. The page was viewed nearly 100,000 times before being taken down. An e-mail Duyser received from eBay said the sandwich broke its policy, which "does not allow listings that are intended as jokes." (The Age 17 Nov 2004) Rec'd from J. Lamp

GOOGLE DEBUTS SCHOLARLY SEARCH SERVICE

Google is adding a new search service geared toward the needs of academic and scientific researchers, offering a central starting point for scholarly literature like peer-reviewed papers, books, abstracts and technical reports. The new search tool, accessible at scholar.google.com, is the result of collaboration with a number of scientific and academic publishers, including ACM, Nature, IEEE and OCLC. The new service initially will be advertisement-free, but company executives say that will change. "The commercial reason for doing this is that you can target areas with high-quality, high-payback ads," says John Sack, director of Stanford University's HighWire Press. "An advertisement that goes next to an article on cloning techniques is probably going to be for services that are pretty expensive." SearchEngineWatch editor Danny Sullivan says Google's latest move is "a significant step forward," adding that Google likely will have competition soon from Yahoo and others. "We will continue to see an explosion of vertical search engines like this," he notes, referring to search services that focus on special collections. (New York Times 18 Nov 2004)

INTUITIVE SEARCH ENGINE KNOWS JUST WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

Liesl Capper says her Mooter search engine delivers results based on personalized algorithmic search technology that serve up more relevant information than the most popular commercial search engines. Capper says most search engines "obviously had been designed by people who know a lot about data but don't understand humans and how we are hardwired. I have spent the last decade studying cognitive styles, and how who you are as a person affects how you deal with information, so applying those skills to a human interacting with information and their world using technology was a natural progression for me." Most people are simply overwhelmed with the flood of data that they retrieve and therefore tend to make instantaneous decisions about whether to pursue a possible lead or ignore it. "This is the only way we have of surviving the complex world we live in without sitting and thinking about everything for hours at a time," says Capper. The Mooter search engine uses algorithms based on profiles of search "types," developed through observation of 600 users over four years. Recently, "we have started scoring our index psychographically, and we have had a lot of interest from online publishers who want to license it, because when you have no keyword to work from it is hard to guess what a person wants to see out of potentially millions of bits of information." (Red Herring 16 Nov 2004)

YAHOO, SBC EXPAND PARTNERSHIP

Yahoo and SBC Communications have inked a deal to jointly develop online services for televisions, cell phones and home broadband networks. The arrangement allows Yahoo to piggyback on SBC's ambitious plans to upgrade its network by laying fiber optic cables to neighborhood "nodes," and then complete the broadband connections to each house via VDSL technology over legacy copper lines. SBC will use Yahoo's services for its new broadband service, dubbed Project Lightspeed. "The new services that will be developed out of this expanded relationship represent the next step in Yahoo's strategy to further deepen consumer relationships by extending our products and services beyond the desktop," says Yahoo CEO Terry Semel. (CNet News.com 17 Nov 2004)

NTT OFFERS DUAL-NETWORK CELL PHONE

NTT DoCoMo is offering customers a cell phone that can make Internet calls via WiFi networks in addition to using the standard wireless networks. The dual-network N900iL phone uses 3G technology to deliver higher speed data transmissions. Nokia, the world's largest handset maker, says it will introduce a dual-network cell phone next year. (AP 17 Nov 2004)

BILL GATES GETS MILLION OF E-MAILS A DAY

Think you've got spam? Microsoft chairman Bill Gates "literally receives 4 million pieces of e-mail per day, most of it spam," says CEO Steve Ballmer, who notes that the company uses special technology to filter spam intended for Gates. In addition, there are several Microsoft employees who provide human screening. "Literally, there's a whole department almost that takes care of it." (AP/SiliconValley.com 18 Nov 2004)

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HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: LOUISA LEE SCHUYLER

Today's Honorary Subscriber is the pioneering American social reformer Louisa Lee Schuyler, who was a leading figure in creating organized resources to meet humanitarian needs.

As a young woman she was active in the work of the Children's Aid Society of New York, which was one of her family's charitable interests. When the Civil War broke out in 1861, she joined her mother in helping to organize the Woman's Central Association of Relief, becoming chairman of its committee of correspondence. Schuyler was largely responsible for the Association's success in establishing an extensive network of local groups through which food, clothing, medical supplies, and other items were collected and forwarded to army camps and hospitals. By the end of the war, Schuyler found herself so exhausted that she had to spend the next six years convalescing abroad, mainly in Europe and Egypt.

Schuyler was born in New York City to the socially prominent Schuyler family. She was a great-granddaughter of two Revolutionary era notables, General Philip J. Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton. She grew up on the family's estate in Dobbs Ferry along the Hudson River and was educated privately.

In 1871, rejuvenated by her post-Civil War sojourn overseas, Schuyler renewed her interest in humanitarian work. Visiting a poorhouse in Westchester County, she found much that needed improvement. Gathering together a group of civic-minded associates Schuyler founded the State Charities Aid Association (S.C.A.A.), to be an umbrella organization for local groups of volunteer visitors interested in the inspection and improvement of prisons, poorhouses, workhouses, public hospitals, and schools. Schuyler also devoted much time to her particular local interest, New York City's Bellevue Hospital, where she was instrumental in establishing the Bellevue Training School for Nurses in May 1873.

The remainder of Schuyler's life is a litany of public service. She campaigned to have the mentally ill removed from understaffed, ill-equipped county almshouses to state hospitals. She had a law passed to provide separate accommodation and treatment for epileptics. She worked with Winifred Holt's New York Association for the Blind, the American Medical Association, the Russell Sage Foundation, and the S.C.A.A. to develop the National Committee (later Society) for the Prevention of Blindness. Her efforts on behalf of the needy always carried the message that such work should be professionally organized and not left to haphazard charitable instincts.

Among the many honors accorded her for her lifetime of service were an honorary LL.D. from Columbia in 1915 and the Theodore Roosevelt Memorial Association medal in 1923. She died in Highland Falls, New York in 1926. The American Dictionary of Biography says of her that "had she been a man, she would have been a captain of industry."

[To find a library copy of "Louisa Lee Schuyler: 1837-1926" visit RLG's RedLightGreen.com: Note: We donate all revenue from our book recommendations to adult literacy programs.]

MAILBAG: THE WORLD AS WE FIND IT

PROPORTIONALITY

Re:

Mark Gibbs writes that spammers' sentences are disproportionate to, say, five years prison time for manslaughter. It's important to bear in mind that the criminal who merited five years prison broke a single law a single time. Spammers break laws sometimes as 10,000,000 or more times, often at the rate of more than one million times per month. I think we as a society have an obligation to help those who break a law the first time, or maybe even the second. But three times is usually a signal of a bad trend. Millions? I'm not sure the punishment *is* proportional. Gibb's suggestion of alternatives to prison might be more appropriate. (Rob Kolstad)

FINE SCOTCH

Re:

A fine point, but it is Scotch Whisky (not Whiskey). The spelling with an 'e' is reserved for Irish and Tennessee Whiskey. But keep up the good work -- NewsScan is a must-read. (Patrick Reid)

WAKE-UP CALL

Re:

In simpler words of the simple times, my teacher used to say, "When a student goes to sleep in my class, it is time for me to wake up." (M.A. Hameed)

IN SEARCH OF THE ARCHIVES

Do you have an archive that I can access of past issues? I'd like to find a clip you had recently about AOL telling some of its customers (I believe broadband customers) that they need to find another company for their Internet connections?? (Denise Bailey) [For the NewsScan archives, go to The particular story you're looking for is at -- J&S]

THE STATE OF EDUCATION

Re:

As Audre Lourde wrote so succinctly: The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. Thanks for printing Nadin's comments on the state of education... All that said, I'm proud as punch that my daughter's been accepted into the undergrad program at Iowa State. Of course, she graduated from high school 5 years ago and has spent that time wandering and collecting experiences, most recently in a 6-month stint as a volunteer at the Heifer Project. Her interest is in sustainable livestock production and community development, so she's coming to education with a pretty different background than most freshmen. For all that Nadin implies that academics are primarily interested in their own economic well-being, I know (from my own learning/teaching experiences) that one thoughtful, engaged, non-traditional student can make all the difference in a teacher's day. It'll be fun to see how my daughter meshes with the College of Agriculture... (Annie Grieshop)

HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: ANDERS CELSIUS

Today's Honorary Subscriber is the Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius (1701-44), who invented the Celsius thermometer scale, generally called the centigrade scale.

Celsius was professor of astronomy at the University of Uppsala from 1730 to 1744, and in 1740 he took charge of the large new observatory constructed there. Celsius was the first to measure the magnitude of stars by determining the intensity of their light by a device other than the human eye. Along with his colleagues he made extensive observations of the aurora borealis, which provided the data he needed to associate the phenomenon with changes in the earth's magnetic field.

In the interest of verifying Newton's theory that the Earth is relatively flat at the poles, Celsius took part in an expedition to Lapland to measure the arc of a meridian in that area of the Earth's surface. He recorded his scientific work in two monographs: "A Dissertation on a New Method of Determining the Distance of the Sun from the Earth" and the "Disquisition on Observations Made in France for Determining the Shape of the Earth."

Celsius belonged to a famous Swedish family of scientists. His father and grandfather were mathematicians, and his uncle was a botanist. He spent the whole of his life in the city of his birth, Uppsala. Despite his outstanding work in astronomy, his reputation today rests mainly on the thermometer he first described in a paper read before the Swedish Academy Sciences in 1742.

[To find a library copy of Michael Guillen's "Five Equations That Changed the World of Mathematics" visit RLG's RedLightGreen.com: -- or to purchase it go to:

WORTH THINKING ABOUT: MAN AS THE PRODUCT OF HISTORY

History professor Arthur Herman wants us to remember that the Scots gave us more than Scotch Whiskey: "When you mention the Enlightenment to most people, it conjures up images of glittering aristocratic salons lit by scores of candles, of scandalous wit and cultivated laughter, of bewigged philosophers and critics pressing their progressive ideas on various European autocrats. Voltaire visiting Frederick the Great at Sans Souci; Denis Diderot editing the Encyclopidie and urging Catherine the Great of Russia to outlaw the use of torture and the knout; Jean-Jacques Rousseau scandalizing polite society in the years leading to the French Revolution. Indeed, the famous names of the French Enlightenment seem to dominate almost every discussion of culture in she eighteenth century.

"This is a mistake. The Scottish Enlightenment may have been less glamorous, but it was in many ways more robust and original. More important, it was at least as influential. In fact, if one were to draw up a list of the books that dominated the thinking of Europeans in the last quarter of the eighteenth century, the Scottish names stand out. Adam Smith's "A Theory of Moral Sentiments" and "Wealth of Nations." David Hume's "Treatise of Human Nature" and "Essays Political, Literary, and Moral." William Robertson's "History of Scotland" and "History of the Reign of Charles V."

Adam Ferguson's "Essay on the History of Civil Society." John Millar's "The Origin of the Distinction of Ranks." Thomas Reid's "Inquiry into the Human Mind." And at the top of the page, Francis Hutcheson's "System of Moral Philosophy" and Lord Karnes's "Sketches of the History of Man."

"It is an impressive list. If one had to identify two themes that most of these works share, they would be 'history' and 'human nature.' Indeed, it is the Scots who first linked them together. The Scottish Enlightenment presented man as the product of history. Our most fundamental character as human beings, they argued, even our moral character, is constantly evolving and developing, shaped by a variety of forces over which we as individuals have little or no control. We are ultimately creatures of our environment: that was the great discovery that the 'Scottish school,' as it came to be known, brought to the modern world."

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[Source: Arthur Herman, "How the Scots Invented the Modern World: The True Story of How Western Europe's Poorest Nation Created Our World & Everything in It." [To find a library copy of

visit RLG's RedLightGreen.com:

-- or to purchase a copy of "Learning to See: Historical Perspective on Modern/Popular Commercial Arts," go to:

HONORARY SUBSCRIBER: EMILY SARTAIN

Today's Honorary Subscriber is the artist and educator Emily Sartain (1841-1927), who was instrumental in elevating public appreciation of commercial art by her insistence that it should be judged by the same aesthetic principles as fine art.

As principal of the Philadelphia School of Design for Women that Sarah Peter founded in 1848, she raised the standard of instruction at the school to the level of French academic training. Previously she had promoted the aesthetic value of commercial art in her position as art editor of the popular Philadelphia magazine called Our Continent. Besides her own excellent background in the fine arts, her voice carried authority by virtue of critical acclaim for her own works, such as the medal she received at Philadelphia's 1876 Centennial Exposition for her portrait of Mlle. Del Sarte, a painting initially accepted by the prestigious Paris Salon. In 1881 and again in 1883 she won the Mary Smith Prize for best picture by a woman at the annual Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts exhibit. Born in Philadelphia on March 17, 1841, Sartain was the daughter of John Sartain, a well-known artist, engraver, and publisher. She began the study of art under her father, who taught her the mezzotint technique of which he was then the outstanding exponent and of which she was reputedly the only woman practitioner. From 1864 to 1870 she studied at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts, and for the next four years she worked in the Paris studio of Evariste Luminais. Two winters spent copying paintings in Spanish and Italian galleries rounded out her training. She was the U.S. delegate to international congresses on commercial art instruction in Paris in 1900 and in Berne in 1904. Additionally, she was a founder of the New Century Club in Philadelphia in 1877 and of the Plastic Club for women artists, of which she was president in 1899-1903 and 1904-1905. She retired as principal of the School of Design for Women in 1920 and lived thereafter in California and Europe. She died in Philadelphia on June 17, 1927.

[To find a library copy of a biography of Sartain by Rochelle Rocchi, visit RLG's RedLightGreen.com: -- or to purchase a copy of "Learning to See: Historical Perspective on Modern/Popular Commercial Arts," go to:

[Note: We donate all revenue from our book and media recommendations to adult literacy programs.]

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We call our news section "Above The Fold" to honor the tradition of the great"broadsheet" newspapers in which editors must decide which news stories are of such importance that they should be placed "above the fold" on the front page. The NewsScan Credo: Be informative, have fun, and get to the point! See http://www.newsscan.com/, and send us mail: John Gehl and Suzanne Douglas , or call 770-704-7517.

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Activities and Events of Interest

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November 19-21 - MCC Church Directory pictures will be taken

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November 20 - Kiwanis pancake breakfast, 5:30 am to 10:30 am, $4

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November 20 - MCC Membership Saturday, from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.

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November 20 - Brister Baptist Church Fish Fry, 5 - 7 pm, Emerson School Cafeteria, $10

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December 4, 2004 - The 18th Annual Christmas and Candlelight in Old Washington

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December 5 El Dorado 3:00 p.m. Holiday Concert Kim Crosby, Soprano

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MCC New York City Mission Trip December 14 - 18

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January 10 El Dorado 7:30 p.m. In Honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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February 5 El Dorado 7:30 p.m. Krystle Maczka, Piano

February 6 Magnolia 2:00 p.m. "

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March 5 Camden 7:30 p.m. Premier String Quartet

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April 3 El Dorado 3:00 p.m. Xiang Gao, Violin

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MCC Tanzania, Africa Mission Trip, July 2005. Get you7r passport!

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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence

Justice first, then peace."

"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses

"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait

"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin

"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson

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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/ This posting covers the last two weeks.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

01. 2nd Lt. James P. Blecksmith, 24, of San Marino, Calif.

02. Lance Cpl. Kyle W. Burns, 20, of Laramie, Wyo.

Both Marines died Nov. 11 as a result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Blecksmith was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif. Burns was assigned to 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

03. Cpl. Jarrod L. Maher, 21, of Imogene, Iowa, died Nov. 12 as result of a non-hostile gunshot wound at Abu Ghraib, Iraq. Maher was assigned to 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif. Maher's death is under investigation.

04. Sgt. Morgan W. Strader, 23, of Crossville, Ind., died Nov 12 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Strader was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

05. Cpl. Nathan R. Anderson, 22, of Howard, Ohio, died Nov. 12 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Anderson was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

06. Cpl. Brian P. Prening, 24, of Sheboygan, Wis., died Nov 12 as result of enemy action in Babil Province, Iraq. Prening was assigned to Marine Corps Reserve's 2nd Battalion, 24th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Chicago, Ill.

The Department of Defense announced the death of soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

07. Maj. Horst G. Moore, 38, of San Antonio, Texas, died Nov. 9 in Mosul, Iraq, when enemy mortar rounds detonated within his unit living area. Moore was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 24th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 25th Infantry Division (Stryker BrigadeCombat Team), Fort Lewis, Wash.

08. 1st Lt. Edward D. Iwan, 28, of Albion, Neb., died Nov. 12 in Fallujah, Iraq, when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his Bradley Fighting Vehicle. Iwan was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Infantry Division, Vilseck, Germany.

09. Sgt. Jonathan B. Shields, 25, of Atlanta, Ga., died Nov.12 in Fallujah, Iraq, when he was accidentally struck by a tank. Shields was assigned to the Army's 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment (Armor), 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

10. Spc. Raymond L. White, 22, of Elwood, Ind., died Nov. 12 in Baghdad, Iraq, when his patrol encountered enemy forces using small arms fire. White was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment (Armor), 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

11. Lance Cpl. David M. Branning, 21, of Cockesville, Md.

12. Lance Cpl. Brian A. Medina, 20, of Woodbridge, Va.

Both Marines died Nov. 12 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. They both were assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Hawaii.

13. Lance Cpl. Wesley J. Canning, 21, of Friendswood, Texas, died Nov. 10 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Canning was assigned to 2nd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

14. Lance Cpl. Nicholas H. Anderson, 19, of Las Vegas, Nev., died Nov. 12 in a vehicle incident while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Anderson was assigned to 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

15. Sgt. James C. Matteson, 23, of Celoron, N.Y., died Nov. 12 in Fallujah, Iraq, when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his Bradley Fighting Vehicle. Matteson was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Infantry Division, Vilseck, Germany.

16. Cpl. Kevin J. Dempsey, 23, of Monroe, Conn., died Nov. 13 due to enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Dempsey was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

17. Lance Cpl. Justin M. Ellsworth, 20, of Mount Pleasant, Mich., died Nov. 13 as a result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Ellsworth was assigned to Combat Service Support Battalion 1, Combat Service Support Group 11, 1st Force Service Support Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

18. Sgt. Byron W. Norwood, 25, of Pflugerville, Texas, died Nov. 13 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Norwood was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

19. Spc. Jose A. Velez, 23, of Lubbock, Texas, died Nov. 13 in Fallujah, Iraq, while clearing an enemy strongpoint when his unit came under fire. Velez was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

20. Lance Cpl. Benjamin S. Bryan, 23, of Lumberton, N.C.

21. Lance Cpl. Victor R. Lu, 22, of Los Angeles, Calif.

22. Lance Cpl. Justin D. McLeese, 19, of Covington, La.

All three Marines died Nov. 13 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Bryan and McLeese were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Lu was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

23. Capt. Sean P. Sims, 32, of El Paso, Texas, died Nov. 13 in Fallujah, Iraq, when his unit received small arms fire while clearing a building. Sims was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Infantry Division, Vilseck, Germany.

24. Cpl. Nicholas L. Ziolkowski, 22, of Towson, Md., died Nov 15 due to enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

25. Cpl. Dale A. Burger Jr., 21, of Bel Air, Md.

26. Cpl. Andres H. Perez, 21, of Santa Cruz, Calif.

Both Marines died Nov. 14 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. They both were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

27. Lance Cpl. Bradley L. Parker, 19, of Marion, W.V., died Nov. 15 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of six Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

28. Lance Cpl. Jeramy A. Ailes, 22, of Gilroy, Calif.

29. Lance Cpl. Travis R. Desiato, 19, of Bedford, Mass.

30. Lance Cpl. George J. Payton, 20, of Culver City, Calif.

31. Sgt. Rafael Peralta, 25, of San Diego, Calif.

32. Cpl. Marc T. Ryan, 25, of Gloucester, N.J.

33. Lance Cpl. James E. Swain, 20, of Kokomo, Ind.

Payton died Nov. 14. The other five Marines died Nov. 15. All died as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Payton was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Swain was assigned to Headquarters Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Ailes was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Ryan was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Desiato was assigned 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C. Peralta was assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Hawaii.

34. Lance Cpl. Shane E. Kielion, 23, of La Vista, Neb., died Nov. 15 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

35. Capt. Patrick Marc M. Rapicault, 34, of St. Augustine, Fla.

36. Lance Cpl. Antoine D. Smith, 22, of Orlando, Fla.

Both Marines died Nov. 15 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Rapicault was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Smith was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

37. Pfc. Isaiah R. Hunt, 20, of Green Bay, Wis., died Nov. 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, when the driver of his military vehicle accidentally struck another vehicle. Hunt was assigned to the 782nd Main Support Battalion, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

38. Pfc. Cole W. Larsen, 19, of Canyon Country, Calif., died Nov. 13 in Baghdad, Iraq, when a civilian vehicle struck his military vehicle causing it to roll over. Larsen was assigned to the 272nd Military Police Company, 21st Theater Support Command, Mannheim, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

39. Lance Cpl. William L. Miller, 22, of Pearland, Texas.

40. Cpl. Lance M. Thompson, 21, of Upland, Ind.

Both Marines died Nov. 15 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Miller was assigned 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C. Thompson was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

41. Pfc. Jose Ricardo Flores-Mejia, 21, of Santa Clarita, Calif., died Nov. 16 in Mosul, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device hit his convoy. Flores-Mejia was assigned to the 25th Transportation Company, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

42. Spc. Daniel James McConnell, 27, of Duluth, Minn., died Nov. 16 in Kirkuk, Iraq, when he was involved in a vehicle accident. McConnell was assigned to the 27th Infantry, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.

43. Staff Sgt. Marshall H. Caddy, 27, of Nags Head, N.C., died Nov. 16 in Khaladiyah, Iraq, when his military vehicle struck another military vehicle. Caddy was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Infantry Division, Camp Greaves, Korea.

44. 1st Lt. Luke C. Wullenwaber, 24, of Lewiston, Idaho, died Nov. 16 in Khaladiyah, Iraq, when he was conducting a security mission and a vehicle-borne improvised explosive device detonated near his military vehicle. Wullenwaber was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Infantry Division, Camp Greaves, Korea.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

45. Sgt. Christopher T. Heflin, 26, of Paducah, Ky.

46. Lance Cpl. Louis W. Qualls, 20, of Temple, Texas.

Both Marines died Nov. 16 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Heflin was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif. Qualls was assigned to the Marine Corps Reserve's 2nd Battalion, 14th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Grand Prairie, Texas.

47. Sgt. Catalin D. Dima, 36, of White Lake, N.Y., died Nov. 13 in Baghdad, Iraq, when enemy mortar fire landed near his position. Dima was assigned to the Army Reserve's 411th Engineer Brigade, New Windsor, N.Y.

48. Lance Cpl. Luis A. Figueroa, 21, of Los Angeles, Calif., died Nov. 18 as result of enemy action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Calif.

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Join the Delta Diamondbacks 24-hour prayer team sponsored by First Baptist Church of McNeill by calling Debi Scott at 695-3403.

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War Prayer list for those in harms way.(10/10)

Remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families. Our own Delta Diamond Backs, local national guard personnel are now patrolling Bagdad. They are part of the 1st Cavalry Division's, 39th Infantry Brigade.

Please update us when you know of someone who comes home (or is activated for service.)

Major William Anderson - U.S. Air Force - Bagdad

Command Sergeant Major Tom Broom - U.S. Army - Kuwait

Kyle Burleston - U.S. Marines - Iraq

Jim Carrol - U.S. Navy Intelligence

Greg Davis - U.S. Army - Bagdad - Mark Davis's oldest son. Greg has two children; Jhett,

12 and Baily 3

Lang Doster - National Guard - Iraq - Angel Cranston's Brother

Sgt. Douglas E. Chappel - Kuwait

Alaina Downey - USAF - Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri - Steve Downey's daughter

Michael Drake - U.S. Navy - Persian Gulf

Lisa Dyson - U.S. Army Intelligence - Johnny Dyson's daughter

Jeremy Lee Eades U.S. Army - Roger and Jerri Eades son.

John Ford - U.S. Army Korea - Steve and Sharon Ford's son

Dickie Hartsfield's son - U.S. Army - In Bagdad

Warren Haynie from Lewisville - Serving in Iraq

Matthew Johnson - Marines

Robby Johnson - USAF C-130 Crew Chief

Brennan Jones - U S Marines - Iraq

James A.Jones - US Navy

Pat Keister - USMC -

Terris Lyons - National Guard - Back home in Minden

Mick McDaniel - U.S. Air Force, unknown location - Richard Matherne's son-in-law

David Mitchell - U.S. Army - In Bagdad

Opheline Moore - USArmy -

Brian Morgan - US Navy - in the Gulf somewhere

C.H. Osman - CAPT USN - Pentagon

Andrew Paladino - US Army SRA

Nick Paladino - US Army Ssgt - Don and Ronda Paladino's Boys

Bob Polk - Kuwait

Todd Raymond - USAF - Germany - Another MCC young man.

Bryan Ross - Wayne Specie Roy and Loretta Specie's

Jason Varner Deployed to an unknown Location Roy and Loretta Specie's

Lloyd Young - USMC - North Carolina - Cindy Martin's son

Please let us know of any updates to this list. James F. McClellan -

KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com Also, at kvma.Com they have a list of people over seas.

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Scheduled Activities

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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine

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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited.Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.

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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital

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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!

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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm

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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am

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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm

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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.

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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m

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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m

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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.

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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.

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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program.For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.

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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.

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Emergency Phone Number 911

(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )

Central Dispatch 234-5655

(Non - Emergency Number)

Direct Numbers

Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)

Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)

Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)

http://www. aapcc. org/

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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee

"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush

"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."

"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"

"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"

"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"

"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"

"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."

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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.

Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Rom 3:20-24 Mark 9:23-24 Psa 139:14-17 Prov 8:10,11,17

God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of more of our "Mutual Aid" training from last week.

Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".

If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning.

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